Saturday, April 12, 2008

Rewind: Trading horror movies circa 2002

First some history.

jadedviewer.com actually didn't start in January 2007. It actually began as Jaded Viewer Productions in 2002 on my other site called leftoverthoughts. My friend I traded horror movies on the internet through Google news groups, horror forums and e-mail.

To make trading easier, I posted my list on my site, gave a brief and humorous descriptions of each movie and listed 50-100 movies I was willing to trade.

It could be a 1 for 1, 3 for 3 or even 5 for 5.

Below is the disclaimer as originally written:


Jaded Viewer Productions Horror List 2002
"We will offend you! Guaranteed!"

BUY, SELL OR TRADE

If you want to buy any of the movies below, all movies are $7.00 + $2 Shipping. If you want to trade for any of the movies listed below please e-mail us your horror list and we can negotiate a trade of equal or lesser value (yes! we would be willing to trade for less!)

All movies are recorded on SP mode, NTSC format only. No Box art is included. All movies are dubbed or have English subtitles unless otherwise noted.

The reason I bring this up is because I found an old blog post I wrote up after I received a CEASE AND DESIST e-mail from a company gobbling up copyrights for some very obscure movies.

I thought it was unfair at the time and I still think it is today. Remember this was circa 2002. It was pre-YouTube, infancy of eBay and message boards were rampant.

If you were part of this community, let me know. It's a bit of nostalgia down underground horror lane.

Enjoy!

[first posted on leftoverthoughts.com on 12/30/02]

**
Monday, December 30, 2002

8th generation dub

I'm still sketchy on this whole bootleg thing. Reason why I bring this up is because recently I was informed that I can't buy or sell or trade any of my underground horror flicks anymore. Here's the deal.

I recently got an e-mail stating I was in violation of copyright laws of North America by an unnamed source. This source threatended legal action and I freakin quote:

Were rather upset and were debating on turning you over to the MPAA for copyright violations. IF our films are not taken off in the next 48 hours we will retaliate harshly. Looking at your list I see most of the films your illegally duplicating are owned by North American companies. We will also contact these companies letting them know what is going on so It would become a mess for you.

If said source is reading this, I have a few things to say for the record. Jaded Viewer Productions is a 2 man operation run out of a basement. Like most underground traders, we are poor. Like eating Ramen noodles poor. The list the said source is talking about can be found here. The list was only and I repeat only a means to initiate trades. Hence, is trading movies illegal? I don't think so. That of course is me being totally biased.

I am fully aware that the unauthorized duplication of movies is illegal without the consent of Major League Baseball and the New York Mets....wait I mean without the consent of the studio...yada yada yada. So am I suppose to be a good American and wait until somebody gets the rights to the foriegn flicks I wanna see so that I can buy them on as a legal copy that will be on DVD or VHS. And why in God's name are you charging $23?!? I mean seriously. It's not like it's Pulp Fiction or something. These are barely flicks that need to be watched once then get passed along to others so they can derive enjoyment out of them. I mean solidifying a market on horror films via copyright is a itsy bitsy piece of the freakin puzzle. It's like claiming 3/4 of a penny. Why would you want to do this?

For goodness sake Kim's Video sells bootlegs!!! It's such a retarded fart of a joke.

Ebay is loaded with these bootlegging motherfuckers. And they got good stuff so I don't complain. I'm not sure how much money they are costing these "companies" but shouldn't they all be prosecuted and castrated to the full extent of the law? Shouldn't they?

Here is my opinion. Bootlegging like any vice crime doesn't hurt anyone. Physically or mentally. When it's financially I don't give a shit. Yeah so a few people don't get some monetary reparations...big fuckin deal.

Most underground horror flicks are seen by people who've initiated trades, bid on Ebay, bought from a dealer at a convention or bought online. The underground is so fuckin small. And we are mostly poor bastards. When you make a trade...you're in a sense building a small village of horror fans that you can communicate with.

The reason we exist is because we don't or don't try to conform to the economics of mainstream movies purchasing conglomerate. The movies are sorta shared...only a few will have seen particular flicks. You feel lucky if somehow you've seen a really rare flick. You've secretly entered into a cult. You've made it. Give youself a pat on the back Tonto.

Bootlegging underground horror is like file sharing on Kazaa or Morpheus. Like downloading mp3s from the now defunct Napster. Like buying flicks from the street peddler on the corner. Like buying tickets from the scalper in front of the arena. Like munching on free food from a party you were not invited to. Like propositioning a prostitute. Like stealing cable. Like hacking into a Direct TV H card. Like downloading a hacked version of Photoshop. Like copying HTML code. Like moving to the good seats at a baseball game. Like leaving for work really early. Like getting to work really late. Like taking a 2 hour lunch. Like expensing a trip to Vegas on the corporate credit card. Like cheating on your taxes. Like sneaking into a movie. Like getting free refills. Like smoking pot. Like sleeping until noon. Like stealing a Playboy. And like tipping off at the gas station.

WE ALL FUCKIN DO IT.

Bill Gates monopolized IE browsers. Of course he did. Because big fuckin money was involved. By monopolozing horror movies...less people will be able to see the flicks you oh so desperately want people to see.

Watching a horror/exploitation/cult film on an underground, imported, no cover art, mislabeled VHS tape in your slowly decaying VCR is an unbelievable feeling. The picture is kinda grainy after the 8th generation dub. The sound is kinda off. Volume goes from high to low. You try to fix the tracking. That doesn't do shit. And you watch.

Then towards the end something mysterious happens. The dude you bought or traded this flick from just taped over midget porn and you see the tale end of it. Or he's used a tape where all his old cartoons were on.

It's oh so magically delicious. This is where bootlegging becomes special. Where you feel like your part of the mainstream. The mainstream of the underground.

Be proud. Welcome to our little club.

Klaatu Barrada Nikto.

**

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Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Do not see Southland Tales!!!


I'm not going to even write a review of this. It would be a waste of time. A waste of my time writing it and waste of your time reading it.

And I'm actually a Richard Kelly fan.

I loved Donnie Darko. I mean I LOVED every minute of it. I read everything on donniedarko.com, kept checking updates on the progress of S.T. on Richard Kelly's Myspace page and even considered buying the 3 prequel graphic novels of Southland Tales.

Then came Cannes. And the bashing. And the uber-negative reviews.

And I still thought it would be good.

It wasn't. It sucked. 2 and a half hours wasted on post apocalyptic nonsense.
The Rock, Buffy, Stifler, Highlander, ex SNL regulars, the Critic, Justin freakin Timberlake, Mandy Moore, Dan Fielding and the hotness that is Bai Ling could't save this movie.

Kelly's next movie (The Box) is based on a Twilight Zone episode.

Is he the next M.Night Shyamalan?

I hope not.

So for now I beg you.....

DO NOT SEE SOUTHLAND TALES!!!!

You have been warned.

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Tuesday, April 08, 2008

American Zombie (Review)

American Zombie

American Zombie (2007)

Directed by Grace Lee


Tired of zombies yet?

Well with the soon to be released Day of the Dead remake on the horizon, this little mockumentary takes the ease off of the gore, splatter, rapid gunfire Romero-topia we've all gotten use to.

Plot-o-matic tell us that real life documenary filmmakers Grace Lee and John Solomon (playing themselves) decide to make a documentary on zombies.

It seems zombies or "revenants" have become a growing populace in Los Angeles but are suffering the pitfalls of any fringe group in our society. They all are trying to live normal lives but they are discriminated, shunned and mocked.

The "ha ha" moment comes in the different types of zombies. Feral, low-functioning and high-functioning. The virus that creates the living dead is spread through bites and the documentary explores 4 distinct zombies, their lives and concludes with a visit to the annual Live Dead festival.

Got all that?

American Zombie is like playing Ro-Sham-Bo (aka Rock, S, Paper).

Let's dig further shall we using this analogy.




Rock

American Zombie rocks in the way of humor. And the humor pours out of the 4 main zombies we follow throughout the flick. Ivan, the zombie slacker, Judy the Asian zombie, cat loving, lonely vegan, Joel the militant, zombie activist and Lisa the string art void, florist.

Spinal Tap-ish and even Michael Moore-ish with its oozing sarcasm, the zombie jokes are a plenty like in a scene as Solomon seaches for "human flesh" in each subject's fridge. All the zombies are unique and quirky with personalities that are outright nuts. They all could be non zombies and it still would be hypnotic to watch.

Ivan the 7-11 slacker undead dude has a girlfriend with a zombie fetish (I mean even famous convicts have groupies right?). Judy's obssessive scrapbooking hobby and Joel's Zombie Advocacy Group are right on in the world of the Guiness Book of the Weird.


The satire is SMACK in your face. Obviously, Lee is telling us zombies represent any minority in America whose been shunned, downtrodded (is that a word?) and forgotten. All minorities have rights and want to be treated as equal even if your rotting away and have maggot infested wounds. It's different to see this done with the undead and thats why it rocked.

Scissors

It's a cut above any zombie movie that uses zombies as a metaphor (ahem Mr. Romero). The conclusion at the Live Dead festival and it's "shocking" twist was well Nostradamused by me 10 minutes into the movie. However, American Zombie tried to figure out what it wanted to be scene after scene. Comedy, Moore-ish seriousness or horror. In the end, it went the serious-horror route.

Paper

The paper analogy comes in the blankness of it all. A pseudo documentary can accomplish satire and be funny all at the same time. The ending was blank of satire and turned into a cliched horror of the dead ending. The engine started running but by the conclusion, American Zombie ran out of gas.

So where was I going with this?

Oh yeah. American Zombie is a great flick, with some scattered flaws and good amount of laughs.
Just like Ro-Sham-Bo, I didn't know what was going to be thrown. Rock? Paper? Scissors?

I thought it was going to be rock.

Paper....definitely paper.

Nah, it's gonna be scissors for sure.

You tell me.


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