the jaded viewer

Babysitter Wanted

Babysitter Wanted (2008)

Directed by Jonas Barnes/Michael Manasseri

I got some backlash from my review of The House of the Devil as I basically said it was average at best. It's a slow burn, some decent jump scares and I summed it up by saying it was a reheated frozen dinner.

So what if I had one of those frozen dinners again?

Well this is where Babysitter Wanted comes in. It's got the same premise as Ti West's film. College girl with lousy roommate gets a gig to babysit a couple's young little tyke in the middle of boonies USA. Suspense is drawn out as mysterious phone calls start ringing, she frantically searches for the kid and than the big reveal is well...revealed.

Suffice it to say, if I told you what the curveball was, it might ruin the movie for you. But I'll tell you straight out. It's definitely not what happened in The House of the Devil. But for me, the difference between this flick and the latter is that we don't have to wait an obscene amount of time to get the big reveal.

I will tell you exactly when we get it in this movie. It's at the 48 minute mark. You'd think after everything is revealed it would be down hill from then on. But it doesn't. It actually becomes more cat and mouse fun and has some awesome tension filled moments.

Babysitter Wanted is what I wanted from The House of the Devil. It takes that babysitter urban legend and squeezes every drop of horror onto the screen. If I had to do a switch to my Top 20 list, I'd actually do it. A very solid horror movie that actually lives up to what it was trying to do.

And here's why.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

In a small college town, a young girl working on a babysitting job in a rural farm is terrorized throughout the night.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Angie (Sarah Thompson) is a religiously devoted freshman starting her first year in community college. She's got the stoner roommate and is the total country bumpkin. Lacking funds, she rips apart a flyer's number and gets a gig babysitting for the Stantons and their cowboy in training kid Sam.

She soon gets a BF to be and gets various foreshadowing flyers taped to her dorm room door. As the babysitting gig starts off, all is slightly normal. And this is where I have to stop or I'll reveal too much.

Let me just say the moments play out as they do all these other babysitter in peril movies. She walks slowly around the house so the creepy gets into overdrive. The phone starts ringing with incomprehensible speech and the most over used cliched scene in babysitter movies makes an appearance as well where our terrified babysitter is searching for the missing kid around the house and she pulls back a shower curtain.

One time instead of seeing an empty tub I'd like to see the worst thing she has ever seen. Severed heads, body parts, organs and tons of blood and splatter.

But that would be a reveal wouldn't it?

The rest of the movie after the twist is your standard final girl vs the big bad. A few solid splatter and gore scenes are interspersed throughout the struggle and we see the evolution of Angie from good, religious college girl to outright profanity spewing final girl of the year. It's an awesome performance from the hot girl next door Sarah Thompson (she was on Angel and a few other TV shows). Seeing her devotedness go from God to survival was fun to watch.

Also, the movie is effective in its set up shots to get the tension moving. Lots of faraway shots with the killer moving in. Closeups to get the emotional punch and a few twists and turns that were set up by the black darkness of this small little house in the middle of nowhere.

All in all, Babysitter Wanted hits on all these notes and does it without including the 80s nostalgia. Sure, there are various logic holes in the reveal and "the ending" actually has like 3 endings within itself. Directors Barnes and Manasseri make sure that our last shot ends on a note of hope rather than dread.

With these type of films, it's hard to blend the pre reveal with the post reveal within the movie. But Babysitter Wanted does its best and it comes out all right. I love when a film that you watch going in with no expectations blows you away. The feeling is just spontaneous happy, sorta like winning an auction on eBay.

This urban legend that's spawned countless movies still keeps chugging along. Let's hope they're all like Babysitter Wanted.

Gore-ipedia

Ax trauma
Knife trauma
Meathook trauma
Achilles heel trauma
Various splatter and gore

Nude-ipedia

Nada. But Sarah Thompson looks particularly yummy in a very tight sweater

WTF moment

THE BIG REVEAL!

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

If you didn't like The House of the Devil or thought it was just "eh", well than try another of these reheated frozen dinners. This one is like a Hungry Man frozen dinner. It's packed with meaty morsels, some peas and carrots and some solid dessert.

Sure it looks like When a Stranger Calls and even Halloween, but its one of the best 25 horror movies to come out last year. For me, this is one of the best babysitter in peril movies ever.

Now rip off the flyer's phone number and dial this one up.

Here is the link to the official site.

Rating:
Check out the trailer below.

Labels: 2008 horror dvd, babysitter wanted, babysitter wanted trailer, bill moseley, nana visitor, sarah thompson, the house of the devil

Posted by the jaded viewer at 11:00 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

.......Tom! He picked #437 which was the closest number to the one I chose was #415.

Congrats Tom on winning this DVD. Please send me an e-mail (jadedviewers at yahoo dot com) so we can exchange information.

Thank you all for participating in the Final Destination Friday Giveaway. I'm going to hold more contests in the future. Also, thanks to Johnny from Freddy in Space for promoting this on Win Free Horror Shit!

I've always got stuff to giveaway, I just have to think of creative ways to make it fun.

Thanks again!

Labels: 2008 horror dvd, final destination, final destination 3, free DVD, giveaway, horror giveaway, sweeps, sweepstakes, the final destination

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

We are going to extend our first ever contest here at the jaded viewer. I think I will extend this until September 18th. I'll announce the winner on 9/21. This is to give everybody an opportunity to join in and have a chance to pick their number and win this DVD. Remember all you have to do is a pick a number from 1 to 500. That's it. Comment now!

Labels: 2008 horror dvd, final destination, final destination 3, free DVD, giveaway, horror giveaway, sweeps, sweepstakes, the final destination

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Well here's a first on the jaded viewer. We're giving something away! As The Final Destination comes out today, I figure it would be appropriate enough to give away the 3rd installment of this series. Yup, this is the one with the roller coaster that goes off track and kills those pesky kids.

Mind you this is a DVD that I bought that I'm giving away (not new or anything but still in top notch condition as I only watched it once). Why did I only watch it once? Funny story.

I was in the airport in San Francisco on my way home to NYC when I figured I'd buy a DVD to watch on my laptop on my flight back. Scouring those DVD stores in the airport, I figured I needed a horror flick to pass the time and with nothing really jumpin at me, and the fact I wanted to finish up the series, I bought this flick.

I popped it in and sitting next to my right was a very attractive woman and to my left, a very nice soccer mom. With my headphones in, I popped in the DVD and started watching the flick. They asked me what I was watching and I told them. Initially shocked by the coaster carnage they both we're intrigued by the flick and wanted to watch the rest.

Lo and behold, these ladies we're diggin the flick! They asked me to turn the volume up and watched the rest of the movie with me and my snarky MST3K comments.

Who knew a soccer mom and a hottie dug the horror!?!? I figure this one viewing was memorable enough.

If I was watching the first flick, they would have probably thought I was psycho and disturbed.

So for this contest, it's pretty simple. Pick a number from 1 to 500, leave a comment with the number you've chosen and the number closest to the number I've prechosen gets the DVD.

Maybe I should put some rules in. You can't pick the same number somebody has already chosen. And if you follow me on Twitter, you're allowed to pick one additional number.

Cool?

So what's the goodies on this 2 disc Special Edition DVD?

• "Kill Shot: The Making of Final Destination 3"
• "Dead Teenager Movie" Featurette
• "It's All Around You" animated short
• Audio Commentary
• Trailer, TV Spots, Alternate Endings, DVD ROM features
  

Contest will last until September 10th (Thursday) at midnight and I'll announce the winner on Friday 9/11.

Good luck to all!

Labels: 2008 horror dvd, final destination, final destination 3, free DVD, giveaway, horror giveaway, sweeps, sweepstakes, the final destination

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Sometimes you can watch a trailer and not think anything of it. Perusing Terrorfeed, I scanned a trailer for Babysitter Wanted. It seem like your run of the mill slash and dash but I did more research as it stars the hot Sarah Thompson (she was Eve on Angel) and it has Nana Visitor (Kira Nerys! from Star Trek: DS9) as well as Bill fuckin Moseley.

Shockingly, from all the reviews I glanced at the horrorsphere is claiming this is an actually rockstar horror of a movie. Hmmmm....now I'm going to have to watch this. Check out the trailer below.





Doesn't seem just blah? Check back for a review in a few days.

Labels: 2008 horror dvd, 2009 horror trailers, babysitter wanted, babysitter wanted trailer, bill moseley, gore, nana visitor, sarah thompson, slasher films, splatter

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Before you get your yelling on about this list, let me first say I haven’t seen Let the Right One In, Repo The Genetic Opera, Trick R Treat or Martyrs as of yet.

Once I do, they will posthumously be put on a belated updated top 10 list of what I reviewed late. Mind you Trick and Matryrs make appear in a 2009 list as they may get released this year.

A few notable omissions are Cloverfield, The Strangers and Diary of the Dead. This is because I fuckin hated these flicks.

With that being said, so what did the year in horror offer us?

Pretty much the following:

1.) Remakes, bad remakes and really really bad remakes
2.) A continent full of decomposing, sometimes kinetic, flesh eating zombies
3.) The French, Australians and Brits can make really good horror movies

Honorable mentions are Frontier(s), Poultrygeist:Night of the Chicken Dead (review to come), The Ruins and Teeth. They came up short, barely.

But in the meantime, the following top 10 are the crème de la crème of the best of horror this year.

Click on the title for an entire review of the film.

The Jaded Viewer's Top 10 Horror Movies of 2008

10.) The Cottage

The dry sense of humor the Brits have can either be considered bloody unfunny or bloody fuckin brillant.

I'm a big believer in that the subtle inappropriate remarks are better than the big jokey, long winded kind.

And that's why somehow the Brits have time after time made the horror-comedy work. Shawn of the Dead, Severance and now we have The Cottage.

Plot is about 2 bumbling petty criminals who kidnap the daughter of an underground kingpin and hold her for ransom in a cottage in the farmland. What they don't know is they've stumbled upon a pissed off redneck after they trespass on his land.

The British are coming. And if the Cottage is example of what’s to come, we should be thankful.

Read the full review here.


9.) Splinter

After watching Splinter, you get the feeling that you've been thrown back into the wayback machine of creature feature horror.

Part The Thing, part The Ruins, all fun ickiness. Director Toby Wilkins champions the simplicity of unknown actors, CGI and Savini like effects, a wrong place wrong time set up and some parasitic "splinter" creepy crawlies to make the best "monster" movie of 2008.

Read the full review here.







8.)Dance of the Dead

You know what we Americans do best? Make a fuckin kick ass zombie film.

Score another one for the US of A. USA! USA!

Gregg Bishop's uber indie Dance of Dead rivals Shaun of the Dead's silliness, blends in some 80s Return of the Dead for the millenial age and clicks in some Buffy-logue to boot.

It’s the scifi club and delinquents that save the day from the zombie apocalypse this time and it’s a fun ride.

This is definitely zombie movie for the Generation Y universe. And it’s damn good. The quips, dialogue and converfunnies are all timed perfect. Massive zombie horde about to attack?

Let’s jam out and have a prom dance to remember.

Good times.

Read the full review here.


7.) The Machine Girl

It's sad that the YouTube millenials made the Machine Girl's trailer go viral.

Why?

Because it just seems that a movie like this was condensed into 2-3 minutes. It should be viewed as 90 minutes of fun, splatter and gore that catches you surprised and shocked and LOLing.

You’ve seen the trailer so I can spare you the plot (or lack thereof).

Fans of arterial spraying rejoice!

Read the full review here.


6.) Gutterballs

What do you get when you take bowling + slasher+ 80s time warp?

You get Gutterballs!

Gutterballs is an entertaining rabid dog, one that keeps biting and biting without a leash in sight.

Full of the horror staples of gratuitous sex and nudity, stereotypical teenagers and scene after scene of splatter and gore by an unusual looking slasher.

That’s really all you need for a good time right?

Read the full review here.


5.) Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer

I said it once and I'll say it again. Leave it up to the Canadians to reinvigorate the 80s horror-comedy.

Jon Knautz's Jack Brooks: Monster Slayer is a dash of Evil Dead, some Weird Science, a tad of Brain Dead, a pinch of The Gate and a heaping spoonful of Robert England.

Jack is a plumber turned Monster Hunter when the forces evil awake.

An origin story thru and thru, Jack Brooks is the next Ash.

Yeah I said it.

Read the full review here.


4.) Stuck

Stuck is going to be Stuart Gordon’s return to the horror radar.

Loosely based on a true story, Mena Suvari hits and not runs over a homeless man who is now “stuck” in her windshield.

Gordon plays out this satire brilliantly and criticizes our lack of indifference as a society.

Stuck hits on all the right chords of a good horror movie, playing with our emotions and sideswiping us with some black humor.

This movie will definitely get stuck in your head.

Read the full review here.


3.) The Signal

Do you have the crazy?

Yes I do.

I’m fuckin crazy about this movie.

Your movie doesn't have to be an original idea (The Signal is more of a few ideas thrown into one) but when you can pull off a solid piece of storytelling, glue in some splatter and chaos and throw in a few scenes of LOL, it makes for an awesome, flick.

And that's exactly what The Signal does.

I really hate how Hollywood churns out PG-13 turd burger after horror turd. So when 3 directors can team up and shell out a gem like this, it totally gives me a happy.

Told from 3 different perspectives and directed by each director in their own unique style, each has it's own personality and blends in nicely to form a coherent film.

The movie starts off with a WTF moment but then slowly transitions into a visceral apocalypse.

Read the full review here.


2.) The Midnight Meat Train

Every once in a while, Lion's Gate will poop out a movie that becomes cult like under it's horror label. The Midnight Meat Train is that movie.

Wow, just a truly awesome-tastic horror gem. One of the best horror movies of the year.

So what did you need to pull of this feat?

You needed legendary Versus/Alive/Azumi director Ryuhei Kitamura. You needed a short story from horror writer Clive Barker, a nifty screenplay by Jeff Buhler and some love from the horror community.

No thanks to Lion's Gate who decided to midnight movie and dollar themed this flick into theatrical oblivion.

TMMT is going to be a super duper horror cult classic, where it will play at midnight shows because people will WANT to see it. It hits all the right notes, leaving everybody scarred, bruised, sliced and diced and ultimately fuckin dead.

Rock on.

Read the full review here.



and the best horror movie of 2008 was.....................................................




1.) Inside

So why am I gushing gore-tastically over Inside. It has all the ingredients to be the #1 horror movie of 2008.

INGREDIENTS

1 secluded house in a riot prone French suburb
1 hot, pregnant French soon to be mother who has lost her husband in a car accident
1 insane, demented, disturbed, twisted, fraked up woman bent on killing our maternity ward heroine
3 inept cops
1 criminal perp at the wrong place and at the wrong time
1 newspaper boss at the wrong place and at the wrong time
1 mother at the wrong place and at the wrong time
50 gallons of blood and guts

Now that’s one tasty dish. This is the pinnacle of French horror so far. It was so intense, so realistic, so brutal you couldn’t look away. The story, characters, acting and gore hit on all cylinders.

After watching Inside, you won’t feel like eating for a week. You'll be looking over your shoulder every few minutes.

But you’ll be happy to have seen a movie that broke all the rules, stepped out of the boundaries and brought back a sadisticness to American shores.

Read the full review here.

****

So what do you think? Agree? Disagree? Did I miss a movie? I'd love to here what you think, bad or good. Onto 2009!

Tags:
top 10 horror movies of 2008, top horror movies 2008 , best horror movies of 2008 , inside, gratuitous nudity, horror movies 2008, top movies 2008, top 10 underground movies of 2008, top 10 horror movies 2008, top 10 2008, top splatter gore movies of 2008, jadedviewer

Labels: 2008 horror dvd, Best Horror Movies of 2008, horror movies 2008, top 10 horror movies of 2008, top 10 underground cult movies of 2008, top splatter gore movies of 2008

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

The Last House in the Woods

The Last House in the Woods (2006)
aka Il Bosco Fuori

Directed by Gabriele Albanesi

Why can't it be the first house in the woods? How about the second to last house?

Ahhh yes, those exploitation crazy Italians love rebooting the old grindhouse slashers flicks of old like it was the 70s and 80s.

Can somebody tell them its the 21 st century?

My first impression was it had the feel of the late great Bruno Mattei's cheesy, Ed Wood-ish amateur splatter film, but the last 30 minutes sent this flick to a decent 2 spinkick average fart.

It doesn't do anything totally different. It's your basic jocktards attacking a couple, a mysterious couple saves them but they're actually more fucked up than the jocktards. Lots of gratuitous running and escaping, lots of gore and a somewhat surreal ending.

It's not rocket science.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

There are some lines that must never be crossed... beyond them all... is The Last House in the Woods.

[oops thats the tag line]

Awesome Review-O-Matic

The version I watched was dubbed so it felt weird listening to conversations in Italglish. Aurora and Rino are a couple out of love when they encounter some thuggy thugs. Luckily they are saved by a couple who suspiciously were there just in time.

They take them to their house and Aurora soon discovers that you should NEVER EVER go to the fuckin backwoods of Italy.

Well let me list the generic shit that we get to see.

1.) Deranged murderous couple
2.) Redneck, inbred, mutant sons
3.) Evil thugs playing evil thugs who become good thugs (?)
4.) Final Girl
5.) Arm decaps and some shades of bloody slaughter

So why would this get 2 spinkicks? I have no idea. The throwback to Italian sleaze repackaged is something I sometimes can't resist. The couple has a mutant, vampire son they need to feed. Oops spoiler...sorry. Like it mattered. So they decide to feed the younglings in love.

The thugs fill the kill quotient and die in gruesome ways. We get final girl running and running and everybody who dies, deserves it.

But its the vivid image of the opening scene clashing with the ending that blew my mind. OK spoilers ye mate. Vampire boy's new little 8-10 yr old brother was a survivor that the family took in which they mutant-ized so he fit in. So how did they accomplish this?

By fuckin cutting off his arms and legs and sitting him on a pedestal.

Whoa.

Not a good movie, but a nice 21 st century pre owned homage to mega sleaze of old. That equals decency in my book.

Gore-ipedia (if you want to be shocked don't read)

Vehicular trauma
Arm and Leg cannibalism
Arm chainsawing
Leg chainsawing
Stomach chainsaw and intenstines spewing
Boil pussing
Multiple stabbings
Throat slicing

Nude-ipedia (because you like boobies)

Negative Zero

WTF moment

The armless and legless little boy sitting on a candle lit pedestal

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

This was brought to the States from Ghosthouse, which usually is solid in their selections. Hell even I got convinced I would see a Last House on the Left ripoff. Oops. Not so fast bubba.

Can't say I hated it. Can't say it was good. But as they say, a sucker is born every minute.


Rating:

Check out the trailer.







Tags:
The Last House in the Woods, Il Bosco Fuori , The Last House in the Woods review , italian sleaze, exploitation films, gratuitous nudity, horror movies of 2008, rape revenge movies, horror blog, grindhouse, slasher films, exploitation remaker, naked women

Labels: 2008 horror dvd, exploitation, exploitation film, Il Bosco Fuori, The Last House in the Woods, The Last House in the Woods review

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post