the jaded viewer

Nun of That

Nun of That (2009)

Directed by Richard Griffin

I've been on an exploitation kick of sorts. Having seen Bitch Slap and singing the praises of Black Dynamite and Black Devil Doll, its been all 'sploitation all the time.

I hyped the film a while back and after winning a contest on Alternative Cinema, I got 4 DVDs from Shock-O-Rama Cinema including Nun of That.

So after cheering the shit out of the other 3 movies above, where does this heavenly movie stand?

It's pretty solid.

Richard Griffin (who directed Splatter Disco and Beyond the Dunwich Horror) takes the campy premise of crime fighting nuns going all renegade and taking on the Mafia and makes it part Troma film, part exploitation homage and as politically incorrect as you can be.

It's totally goofy, totally over the top and totally nun-tastic!

When you watch Shock-o-rama films, you have to take a different perspective. It's DIY cinema. Sure there are budget limitations, its got B-level dialogue and the CGI is laughable. But you genuinely see the director, the crew and the actors all give it their best and sometimes, something miraculous happens.

You get a fun flick.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Sister Kelly Wrath has got a habit… of flying off the handle. After being gunned down in an alley, she ascends to heaven to receive training from some of the great figures of religious mythology. She is then set back to Earth to join the other members of the Order of the Black Habit, a group of supernatural vigilante nuns, as they fight evil and seek revenge against the mob.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Well you gotta give them credit, the nunsploitation genre of grindhouse flicks hasn't been tapped for a while. It was about time for a reboot. If you're a Catholic or God fearing Republican, you may have a heart attack after you see Nun of That. This ain't Sister Act.

So who are these nuns in the Order of the Black Habit?

• Sister Wrath: She's a got temper like Jules and likes her women a la lesbo.
  
• Sister Pride: She probably make Ellen her bitch
  
• Sister Lust: Black mamba with a side of vengeance
  
• Sister Gluttony: Food is her mortal sin

So after Sister Wrath is kicked from her convent, she ends up on the other side of the tracks, dispatches of some would be thugs and dies and meets the J-man. J-man goes all Mr. Miyagi and we get a gratuitous training montage where the following happens.....

• She gets trained by Gandhi in the art of non violence violence
• Sees J-man sing a musical number
• Meets her guardian angel

After meeting her fellow sisters, they get down to business and start to kick ass. So whose ass are they kicking? Well there are a few baddies that need to be sent to hell. These include....

• Big Mama (the mama kingpin)
• Richie Corbucci (the #2)
• Viper Goldstein (a Jewish assassin)
• And various henchmen

So how do our vigilante nuns strike fear in the hearts of the criminal underground? Well with a 12 gauge shotgun and lots of ammunition. Various scenes of carnage include...

• A massacre of justice at a strip club
• A trip to an all nun bar called Bar-Nun
• A final climactic battle at a whorehouse

It's B-level justice delivered in short bursts of hilarity. Standard gunshots to the head, torso and a few Jewish ninja stars all make this a very fun flick Jesus would be proud of. Sure you get your standard molesting priest, Jewish jokes, lesbo nuns and holy priests (get it?), but its all tongue and cheek and tongue on tongue (wink wink) fun.

This is actually the first Richard Griffin or Shock-o-rama film I've seen since Cannibal Campout and I thought I'd have a hard time diggin the B-level and Troma like humor. But the fact is, the Troma movies tend to grow on you (I mean Poultrygeist was freakin damn good) and here you get special appearances from Debbie Rochon and Lloyd Kaufman giving their stamp of approval.

So when you get in the mood to see mindless entertainment and want to see nuns kickin ass, Nun of That might be your prayers answered.

Gore-ipedia

Lots of gunshot trauma

Nude-ipedia

You'd think we'd get lots of boobies, but Nun of That stays pretty clothed

WTF moment

Viper Goldstein the Jewish assassin needs his own movie

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

You kinda know what to expect when your watching a movie like Nun of That. I found it totally turn off your brain good. I mean it's not as good as Black Devil Doll or the others I mentioned but it's not irritatingly bad as you'd think it would be.

It's available via AlternativeCinema.com

Rating:
Check out the trailer below.







Here is the Nun of That 48 Hour Film Version






Tags:
nun of that, nun of that trailer , exploitation , 2009 grindhouse movies, exploitation films, gratuitous nudity, horror movies of 2009, rape revenge movies, horror blog, grindhouse, nunsploitation, splatter disco, naked women

Labels: 2009 exploitation movies, 2009 grindhouse movies, exploitation, exploitation film, gratuitous nudity, grindhouse, nudity, nun of that, nun of that trailer, nunsploitation

Posted by the jaded viewer at 11:00 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

The Hills Run Red

The Hills Run Red (2009)

Directed by Dave Parker

The Hills Run Red got the hype treatment within the horror universe this year. It's premise, it's sleek grindy slasher and Sophia Monk wearing nothing should be enough to equal yayness and approval from us fans. For me, it equals more of a mix bag of donuts. Sure you get your oozing jelly filled, and your chocolate yuminess. But you also get your over done elaborate, sprinkled Boston cremes and some other exotic new flavors that catch your eye. Yeah, it looks pretty but it doesn't taste that good.

Well that's The Hills Run Red. It looks good from the outside but when you dig in, it's not as delicious as you thought it would be.

I think I've got you hungry right? Lets dig in shall we?

Boring Plot-O-Matic

A group of young horror fans go searching for a film that mysteriously vanished years ago but instead find that the demented killer from the movie is real, and he's thrilled to meet fans who will die gruesomely for his art.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

At points within the movie, I got really conflicted. I was teetering that this would be 3 spinkicks, then it dropped to 1 spinkick, then to 2 spins, then 2 and a half. I've haven't been this confused trying to rate a film in a while. I usually know exactly the rating I'm going to give during the film and by the end, it's sold. So its surprising to what I settled on for this one. But as you can see below, my string of thoughts sorta went in different directions.

Here's are my thought bubbles during the movie.

• Sophia Monk is hot
• OMG! Sophia Monk is naked...making her mega hotter
• The other female star in the movie is naked too!
• This trailer of the movie within this movie looks awesome!
• Tyler, our main character is kinda a lame, horror-core fan
• Well, Sophia Monk is naked again
• Tyler's friends are also big douches..I hope they die
• Oh oh, this is turning out to be a filmmakers go to the woods and get attacked by cannibal rednecks, then attacked by a real slasher
• Babyface, our slasher has got some top notch kill skills
• Holy shit! A women got torn in two by a tree contraption
• Hmmm. I think the fake grindhouse movie in this movie is probably better than the actual movie itself (make sense?)
• It's a gratuitous chase scene!
• WTF! Is this Saw?
• Sophia Monk is naked again...and I never get tired of looking at her.
  
• Oh man I predicted that twist 30 minutes ago
• Wow, this is lots of pretentious dialogue about movie making
• Yup, another twist...saw that one coming 15 minutes ago
• Ewwww. Babyface looks yucky
• Yeah! A scene during the credits...this will be awes....errr....well thats just dumb
  

If you've seen the movie, you'll understand exactly what I'm talking about. For peeps who haven't seen it, lets get into a review.

Tyler and his filmmaking cohorts decide to make a documentary of The Hills Run Red, a slasher film that has reached urban legend status. Seems the only remnants of the film left are a trailer, a few posters and Alexa, daughter of the director Wilson Wyler Concannon (William Sadler).

After Tyler meets Alexa (the always naked Sophia Monk), a stripper who guides the group to the locations of the movie. Joined by his GF Serena and best friend Lalo, they go off to the woods and go Blair Witching. The movie is interspliced with scenes from the unfinished grindhouse movie. The movie is about Babyface, a bumpkin schmunkin who tore up his face to something about his mom. I forget exactly how it went.

The characters are actually a little irritating to say the least with Alexa being the most interesting. Tyler is your Heather-type (from BWP) so dedicated to making his documentary, he turns down sexual relations from Alexa and his girlfriend (What the freakin fuck? I think he's gay..seriously dude?). Serena, his GF is dedicated and even at one point during the movie she seemed to go into a She-Ra, Princess of Power transformation changing into a standard Final Girl tanktop. Lalo is just victim fodder.

But it's Alexa, who creates the most memorable character in The Hills Run Red. A stripper, a drug addict and a vixen to the slickest proportions. Sophia Monk plays her character, right up to the end of the movie in a top notch, juicy sexpot sorta way. Brains and breasts as I always say.

Oddly enough, the film also becomes Skynet self aware. The characters go over rules of how to survive a "we're lost in the woods attacked by locals" horror movie and many of the film within a film references are slightly clever and a wink to the audience. There is something about finding a long lost film and the repercussions of it. Many scenes are set up where you think good guys defeat bad guys. But then you get a 360 into something else. I can't say its cool, more a little confusing.

But this new age of millennium slashers inducts Babyface into its fraternity. He's a formidable mountain man slasher who can use a variety of weapons to kill kill kill. Like Chromeskull in Laid to Rest, he's got a style and backstory that's unique. His daddy and mommy would be proud.

Parker and crew have a made a decent slasher movie that flips things upside down, fulfills your gratuitous nudity meter, got a somewhat interesting plot and has kills that will make gorehounds rejoice. It's also got some uneven twizzler twists, hipsters playing horror intellectuals and some self referencing dumbness.

So what do you got after you watch The Hills Run Red? 2 spinkicks. It's a fitting rating for a decent film that is like a bite of jelly and a bite of glazed. It may not live up to the hype its gotten but I can say I wasn't bored. American runs on blood and donuts.

Nude-ipedia

C'mon now. How many times do I gotta say Sophia Monk is 100% naked in this?
Gratuitous secondary character sex scene boobage

Gore-ipedia

Face trauma
Ax to the head
Decaps
Stomach trauma
Sliced and dice tummies
Mummified corpses
Gunshot trauma
Gut wrenching gore
Women torn in half
Various mutilation kills
Various stabbing weapon kills
Lots of head bashing

WTF moment

The twist after the twist

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

The Hills Run Red is available now on DVD via Amazon.com. I think many of the horror sites agree with my review that the movie is a mixed bag. Though some reviews have a love or hate it sorta opinion. I tried to not go into much of the plot of the movie because giving a way too much would affect your viewing.

But your reading this review because you want to know if Sophia Monk is naked in it right? So rest assured the answer is yes.

Rating:

Check out the trailer.

Labels: 2009 grindhouse movies, 2009 horror dvd, gore, gratuitous nudity, slasher films, sophie monk naked, splatter, the hills run red, the hills run red trailer

Posted by the jaded viewer at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Hanger

Hanger (2009)

Directed by Ryan Nicholson

Well Hanger is a movie that alot of our female horror bloggers are NOT going to watch and certainly not review.

Sometimes horror is still a boys club.

There is still a part of the horrorsphere that is still extreme,vulgar, disgusting and nasty. Movies that throwback exploitation and grindhouse and make it tampon fuckin bloody. This isn't your sanitized Tarantino/Rodriguez shit. This is over the top fucked up shit. Lowest Common Denominator gave us Black Devil Doll (review here). Header (review here) gave us a new term for some fucked up shit. And Frank Henenlotter recently spawned Bad Biology (review here).

But Plotdigger Films Ryan Nicholson whose Gutterballs (full review here) and Live Feed are smack in the middle of this extreme horror genre is back with his 4th film Hanger. I loved Gutterballs, ranking it #6 on my Top Horror Movies of 2008. But I'll say straight out, as much as I appreciate all the glorious exploitation shit of old, I just couldn't dig the flick. But that isn't to say it doesn't have its moments.

Put the kids to sleep and get your barf bag ready, it looks like we're DeLoreaning back to the VHS horror of old.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Pulled into this world to take you out! HANGER is a horrifying tale of revenge...beginning with a back-alley abortion and ending with a bloodbath so vicious that it brings a new meaning to "an eye for eye".

From pimps to dealers, from hookers and junkies..."Hanger" washes the filth away with their own blood, cleaning the streets and making way for the ultimate showdown of good vs. evil. Diving headfirst into the depths of human depravity, Plotdigger Films plans on turning the world of horror inside out and letting it all hang out to dry!

Awesome Review-O-Matic

(Warning! This review is probably filled with language that will offend some. Just because the movie is highly fucked up and offensive itself)

It's easy to get psyched when you see one flick you love and anticipate the next film of that director. So Hanger got me hyped after watching the trailer. But oddly this was 80% extreme nastiness, 10% porn and 10% plot. Gutterballs for all its nastiness had some balance in the equation, Hanger seemed to be overflowing like a clogged up toilet.

So lets breakdown the equation.

10% plot

Debbie Rochon plays Rose, a whore of whores who gets knocked up then subsequently killed by her pimp Leroy. (Leroy also disposes of a tranny as well (Lloyd Kauffman in a cameo)) Leroy is a bad ass brotha, with gear and anger issues. Because Rose can't trick due to her "pregnant, fat ass" he kills her by hanger abortion trauma, thus killing mommy and deforming the unborn son. 18 years later, Rose's favorite John, gets Hanger (the deformed son) out from the streets, gets him a job at a recycling plant and gets him some pussy. (not necessarily in that order)

Soon Hanger is hanging out with Russell, another freakazoid working at the plant. Russell is a Chinese pornhound that cares only about drinking and getting laid. Wade Gibb plays Russell and does the old yellowface act (white man playing a stereotypical Chinese caricature) and somehow turns in stellar, hilarious performance. His Mr. Woo like rambling gave me a few ha ha's and its something you think would be offensive but comes out as funny as hell.

Suffice it to say, John and Hanger go seeking revenge against Leroy because he killed their momma and favorite ho, respectively.

10% porn

Well lets get our Nude-ipedia out of the way right? Lots of breasts and boobage galore in this one. This isn't your Vivid shit here. More like Bangbus. Whore boobies and a gratuitous masturbation-interruptus scene involving Candice Lewald. Round boobies, sagging boobies and wallpaper of porn. Thank you Ryan Nicholson.

80% extreme nastiness

Most other Gore-ipedia scenes involve a killing of a hooker, a fat Jehovah's Witness and some man rape via roofies. It's typically gore-max and it's all done in a utter violent nasty streak. Somehow most of these scenes you'd think would be the shock value you signed up for end up blah. Blah, blah blah. Clocking in at 80 minutes, I guess there was no time in the movie to set any of these scenes up. Shit happens, kill scene, next.

The nasty of the uber nasty is seeing Hanger's fucked up face. He's not just deformed but seriously scarred. Russell is a little yucky too as is another worker at the plant Phil. They throw poop diapers at each other and sort all the gooey and vomitus garbage.

The dialogue is cluttered with every vulgarity and sexual nastiness you can think of. Blowtorch mediaval torture. What else can I say? The only creativeness is Russell's diatribes as he talks to Hanger. Blowjobs, tossing salads and abortions are the vernacular. If you can't stand the heat, get out of the fuckin city. With that, the ending is a little too anticlimactic and a big SHOCKER scene is no where to be found. When a movie offends you this much, you want them to go over the edge and just go "Fuck it, how can this scene be a little more fucked up?".

Hanger lives up to the movies Nicholson has created. It's Troma-ish and has that piss ass drunk feel in movies like Street Trash, Maniac and Combat Shock. It's definitely not for everyone but Hanger claims the top spot of being the nastiest film of 2009.

Ryan Nicholson takes each of the genres of old and makes his version. And trust me his versions are meaner, sicker and more depraved. As much as I like Gutterballs, Nicholson's street revenge, exploitation flick is fucked up, but without the creativeness I was looking for. Maybe he'll make a shaky cam BWP or PA like flick, unsanitized for us grindhouse fans. You listening Ryan?

WTF moment

Seeing Hanger's face for the first time

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

The DVD released November 17th. More from the MySpace site and the official site.

If you want to watch what the extreme fans watch, go see Live Feed or Gutterballs first. Then when your ready, you can watch Hanger. Also, to build up your stamina for these type of flicks go see the others I mentioned. If your a noob, go see Cannibal Holocaust first. If you can stand that, you can be ready for this flick.


Rating:

1/2

Check out the trailer below.

Labels: 2009 exploitation movies, 2009 grindhouse movies, gutterballs, gutterballs review, hanger, hanger trailer

Posted by the jaded viewer at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Well October is over but for us New Yorkers, the horror keeps screaming. Just announced is the lineup for the NYC Horror Film Festival that takes place from November 18th to the 22nd.

Here's some snippers from the official press release.

The NYCHFF will take place November 18 - 22, 2009 and will be held at the Tribeca Cinemas, located at 54 Varick Street at Canal Street . The NYCHFF’s Kick-Off Gala will take place on November 18 at 8:00pm at BLVD (Spring & Bowery) and will feature five bands, 20 short films, complimentary cocktails and more.

Programming for the festival includes more than 50 horror and Sci-fi feature and short films, parties, and panel discussions.

The festival’s 2009 feature film presentations are:

Cornered (Feature / Horror)

Directed by Daniel Maze

A serial killer is stalking the gritty streets of Los Angeles . It’s all over the news, but that doesn’t stop the crew at a local convenience store from their weekly poker game. Now, trapped inside the store with a deranged killer the group must fight to make it through the night alive. Stars Steve Guttenberg, James Duval and the hysterical Ellia English.

Must Love Death (Feature / Horror / Comedy)

Directed by Andreas Schaap

Disappointed by love and suicidal people, Norman arranges to meet a group of like-minded people. But when he arrives at the meeting the alleged suicides goes very wrong and hilarity and blood start to flow freely.

Sweatshop (Feature / Horror)

Directed by Stacy Davidson

A group of rave promoters decide to throw a party in an enormous vacant factory... But when the oversexed friends throw back a few drinks and begin setting up, they soon realize, a beastly all-seeing presence resides in this enormous place, and it drags a mammoth, inhuman weapon that serves only one purpose: to end the lives of anyone who trespasses here.

The Revenant (Feature / Horror / Comedy)

Directed by D. Kerry Prior

Officer First Class Bart Gregory is killed while fighting in Middle East . His body is shipped back to the United States and laid to rest, but before the lid can be put on his tomb, Bart inexplicably awakens in his coffin and climbs from his grave; A Vampire? A Zombie? No…..A Revenant! Now, this average guy must feed on human blood or rot away.

Nosferatu; Orlok The Vampire in 3D!! (Feature / Retrospective)

Directed by F.W. Munarau

This classic 1921 silent film Directed by F.W. Murnau and staring the immortal Max Shriek as Count Orlok is reborn completely restored, remastered and brought back to life in gorgeous 3D. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for film fans to see one of the greatest and one most recognizable classic silent horror films in 3D on the big screen!

Maidenhead (Feature / Horror / Art House)

Directed by Jim Spanos

Poor Martin doesn’t have much of a life. He doesn’t have a girlfriend, he hasn’t been sleeping well, and he still lives at home... with his father, who is an obnoxious, bloodthirsty monster strapped to a bed. Did we mention he isn’t sleeping well? Martin (AJ Bowen of House of the Devil and The Signal) spends his days going numbly about the business of tending to his Dad’s grisly needs. Every day is just like the last, until Martin meets an innocent church-going girl named Meredith, who gives him hope of something more. But what about Dad?

The Shadow Within (Feature / Horror / Ghost)

Directed by Silvana Zancolo

In a gloomy and sinister atmosphere, little Maurice Dumont can’t escape his infernal reality. Dominated by an inhuman mother who rejects him, an absent father and the ghost of his brother who refuses to die. In a claustrophobic overwhelming environment, obsessed by dead and living presences, Maurice seems to have no way out, as death silently creeps into his old gothic house.

Maniac (Feature / Retrospective & Achievement Award)

Directed by Willaim Lustig

This 1980 grindhouse classic is back on the big screen! Starring Joe Spinell as the deranged Frank Zito. Frank is an embittered loser who talks to himself and his dead mother, stalks a pretty model (legend Caroline Munro), and spends his spare time brutally murdering and scalping women. A pristine 35 mm print will screen as part of this Lifetime Achievement Award program dedicated to Director / Producer William Lustig.

William Lustig Lifetime Achievement Award

As a kid, auteur William Lustig avidly watched a huge volume of lowdown trashy exploitation fare on 42nd Street ’s grindhouse theaters. Working way through the film business, Lustig found himself at the center of a storm of controversy when he made the grim, and gory landmark horror film "Maniac" which boasts an incredibly intense performance by legendary character actor Joe Spinell and hideously graphic make-up f/x by horror icon Tom Savini. Lustig followed up with the tough, gritty and exciting urban revenge thiller "Vigilante." He delivered another winner with the terrific "Maniac Cop," and the series follow ups 2 & 3, Hit List"and the suspenseful serial killer thriller "Relentless" all excellent and entertaining. Lustig's last film as a director was the nifty fright flick "Uncle Sam." William Lustig has also produced a staggering 84 films and TV projects to date. He went on to create the distribution company Blue Underground that lovingly restores and puts out some of the best classic genre films of all time!

Blood Night: The Legend of Mary Hatchet (Feature / Horror)

Directed by Frank Sabatella

Long Island, 1978: A young girl named Mary Mattock gruesomely murders her family and is locked away at the notorious Kings Park Psychiatric Center . Ten years later Mary escapes, leaving a grizzly wake of bodies and blood. Gunned down by the police, Mary meets her own demise outside the sanitarium walls. This incident gave birth to the legend of Mary Hatchet’s walking ghost and the mischievous night named in honor of her death, BLOOD NIGHT! Starring genre favorites Bill Moseley and Danielle Harris, Blood Night puts a neck-breaking spin on the gory and gut wrenching slasher films of the 80’s.

For more information and tickets, visit the festival’s website: http://www.nychorrorfest.com/.

I'm very excited to see The Revenant though I wouldn't mind seeing Maniac on the big screen for that shotgun blast to the head scene. If your in the NYC area, I would suggest trying to see one of these films...maybe I'll even see you there.

Labels: 2009 grindhouse movies, 2009 horror movies, 2009 horror trailers, 2009 NYC Horror Film Festival, maniac

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Was I the only one who actually liked Gutterballs? (full review here). Yeah I know, the anti argument were the characters were vulgar, it had a gratuitous 20 minute rape scene and the slaughter was laughable 80s slasher fare. But I kinda dug it because of all those things I just mentioned.

The fact that I ranked it #6 on my Top 10 Horror Movies of 2008 kinda says it all. I'll defend that pick as I will all my fuckin picks. So there.

Anyway, Ryan Nicholson, the director of Live Feed and Gutterballs is back with his new flick called Hanger. Put the kids to sleep and get your barf bag ready, it looks like we're DeLoreaning back to the VHS horror of old.

Hangar looks like a cross between Street Trash, Maniac and all the glorious exploitation shit of old. I mean its got hookers, degenerates, pimps, drug dealers, mutants and Debbie Rochon!
What more can you ask for? A plot? OK..see below.

Pulled into this world to take you out! HANGER is a horrifying tale of revenge...beginning with a back-alley abortion and ending with a bloodbath so vicious that it brings a new meaning to "an eye for eye".

From pimps to dealers, from hookers and junkies..."Hanger" washes the filth away with their own blood, cleaning the streets and making way for the ultimate showdown of good vs. evil. Diving headfirst into the depths of human depravity, Plotdigger Films plans on turning the world of horror inside out and letting it all hang out to dry!

Check out the trailer below. The DVD releases November 17th. More from the MySpace site.

Labels: 2009 exploitation movies, 2009 grindhouse movies, 2009 horror dvd, exploitation film, grindhouse, gutterballs, hanger, hanger trailer, street trash

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Incest Death Squad

Incest Death Squad (2009)

Directed by Corey Udler

Well if you're reading this review, you probably realized that my quote is on the cover of the DVD box.

Yup, it's right damn in front in bold freakin letters it reads:

"Are you going to hell if you see this movie? Probably so."

I still stand by that quote. Because after watching Incest Death Squad, you really are going to hell if you see this flick. It's probably what right wing, Christian conservatives will tell you but I'm sure they've never seen a Rated R flick in their lives. But seriously, I've never seen a film which casually displays religious iconography and then counters it with a brother and sister soaked in blood while going all incesty.

Yes folks. Incest Death Squad has incest, it has death and it has a squad. Not necessarily in that order.

IDS is a mixed bag of screwball comedy, Tromaville humor, perverse exploitation and some wicked foreplay. But it also has a few moments of lag, some shaky camera shots and a letdown of an ending.

So you take the good and the bad and you come out with a modern day exploitation film that fucks with your head but leaves no traumatic scarring to the most jaded viewer. And my hype for the film was just that. I was hoping Udler would push the proverbial 'sploitation frontier and take it to the next level. Sort of like where Nekromantik took that other fetish that should not be named.

So want to head to hell as well? Keep reading.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Meet Jeb and Amber Wayne, an incestuous brother and sister who have been given a message from God. KILL ALL TOURISTS.

Meet, AaronBurg, a big city newspaper reporter sent to the Northwoods of Wisconsin to get a story on Chronic Wasting Diseas. What Aaron doesn't know is that his life will soon be turned into an orgy of bloodlust at the hands of the Waynes.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

So with a title called Incest Death Squad you're going to get my attention. I mean how do you treat the first word with anything but disdain and disgust. With necrophilia and bestiality as the other parts of the trio of fuckedupness, you really have to either go with an artsy fartsy approach, be a bizzare comedy or go all grindhouse.

Here IDS goes 2 of 3 by adding comedy to such an exploitation bonanza. The movie is set up in two parallel storylines, one involving Jeb (Greg Johnson) and Amber (Carmela Wiese) Wayne, our bro and sis children of God who use Amber's lusty vixen to lure dumb redneck fisherman to their deaths. The other storyline is one revolving around Aaron (Tom Lodewyck), our intrepid reporter as he digs for facts and meets a motel owner (Melissa Jo Murphy) as they venture off into a budding relationship.

The Jeb and Amber scenes are where we get our fix of horror. Jeb is a minister of death and is the one who invokes the Creator to fulfill his missions. But I really dug the performance by Wiese as Amber. She puts the I in IDS, playing a local Venus fly trap with her lusty sexpot advances on the man population. In the one penultimate scene that lives up to the "I" in the title, they get all down and naked covered in blood. It's not as gritty and sick as it seems but is highly uncomfortable.

In our comedy portion, we follow the slapstick adventures of Aaron and Andrea. Aaron, gets his assignments from a cameo from Lloyd Kaufman (complete with Poultrygeist branding on his shirt). It's pure Troma madness ("I want more dead hookers!") and Kaufman as the newspaper editor is his indie horror DIY best.

Aaron and Andrea scenes were mostly snoozy consisting of casual conversating and pizza eating. These scenes of very Troma-ish humor and visual aided ha ha's were ill timed and sometimes overplayed. I just didn't find any LOLs in Aaron's ineptitude. I mean this dude is hooking up with people left and right and playing the goofball. It felt a little imbalanced but the biggest thing that grinded my gears was towards the end where he encounters the squad.

It's the ending that could have been the complete WTF moment here. Jeb gets holy on a corpse and Amber wants to marry now hostage Aaron. Confused and bewildered, I was hoping we'd see these two get their comeuppance (but then there would be no IDS2). I felt we could have seen some serious carnage and total insanity. But it ended on a quiet whimper.

I think I totally overhyped this movie in my head after watching the trailer. So it didn't live up to my expectations but hell not a lot of movies do. Udler does a good job in his first feature flick taking a good concept and story and adding some comedy and vulgarity to the mix. Kudos to Udler for taking a chance on making a flick that defies all that is mainstreamy. I think he has a bright future in the indie horror scene.

Some of the performances were wicked, others not so much. However, Udler goes all Americana with the visuals of a small Wisconsin countryside. Because like I've said many times before, the USA is the best at making movies about the horrors of backwoods, USA.

Incest Death Squad is a film bent on making you uncomfortable, showering you with clean, goofy comedy than spewing you with disgusting visuals that make you want to stab your eyes out with a rusty scissor.

So should you watch it?

Probably so, but remember do not pass Go. You're going straight to hell and if even if you don't you're probably going to end up in jail.

Gore-ipedia

Snapped neck
Unseen weapon to the face
Bloody nose

Nude-ipedia

Amber boobage
Man parts

WTF moment

Jeb gets holy on one of the victims (wink wink)

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

Incest Death Squad will be at the Crypticon in Minneapolis from November 6th to 8th. It's also now available on DVD. Check out the official site, the MySpace page for more information.

I'd like to thank Cory Udler for the DVD and the quotable quote on the DVD cover. I've always dreamed one day a quote of mine would be on a DVD and now it has. Yay.

Will we see a IDS2? Most definitely from what I can tell. Here's hoping that the movie pushes the boundaries of all good taste. I'll be on the frontlines when that happens.

Rating:

jaded viewer related linkage:
Incest Death Squad (Trailer)
Incest Death Squad (DVD Release Date)

Tags:
incest death squad, incest death squad review , incest death squad trailer , horror movie 2009, exploitation movies, horror blog, gratuitous nudity

Labels: 2009 exploitation movies, 2009 grindhouse movies, 2009 horror dvd, 2009 horror movies, exploitation film, grindhouse, incest death squad, incest death squad trailer, indie horror

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Gnaw

Gnaw (2008)

Directed by Gregory Mandry

You've all seen the posters for Joss Whedon's upcoming Cabin in the Woods right? The taglines take a shot at all the slasher convention "rules" of well cabin in the woods horror films.

These rules were obviously made famous in the Friday the 13th flicks but they've infiltrated many other flicks as well. Cabin Fever, Hills Have Eyes, etc.

Well before you see Whedon's flick, you should watch a movie like Gnaw to know what they are probably going to parody. In the posters for Cabin in the Woods the taglines are....

If an old man warns you not to go there..

Make fun of him.

If you hear a strange sound outside...

Have sex.

If something is chasing you...

Split up.

All the characters in Gnaw follow these rules to a tee. Just a generic horror movie for the generic horror generation. I really thought the UK would be a little better than this. I mean cannibal families in the UK country? Sorry, I just don't buy it. You're too damn civilized for that premise. What else, what else?

Oh yeah, did I mention that the killer family grinds up their victims and makes them into pies?

It's not as cool as it sounds.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

In this dark, tongue in cheek, British Horror, six friends take a holiday in the heart of the English countryside which turns into a culinary nightmare when they discover that their hosts are a sadistic family of cannibals, set on turning their guests into their next meal!

It's nice to have your friends for dinner.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

It's the speed review. I'm here to answer all your pertinent questions about Gnaw.

1.) How many dumb kids go into the woods?
Six.

2.) How many have sex?
Two.

3.) Do they eat the human meat pies?
Yes.

4.) Is it gross?
Not really. They discover a hair in one, a gold tooth in another and a ring in some soup.

5.) Is the caretaker landlady in on it?
You betcha.

6.) Is the final girl preggers?
Yup which makes sure she'll survive all the way to the end.

7.) I heard the slasher dude is known as the Slaughterman, so is he bad ass?
Think a younger Vinnie Jones meets David Beckham with a pitchfork.

8.) Is his mask a raccoon tail with eyeholes?
Yup. Wow strike fear into your victims with roadkill on your face.

9.) Any awesome scenes of kill carnage (aka Gore-ipedia)?
Err.Umm. Ehhh. Girl gets stabbed in the stomach. Some tongue trauma and some grind chipper foot. Nothing to write Fangoria about.

10.) Boobies (Nude-ipedia)?
Yeah, real and not spectacular.

11.) For a movie about cannibals, do they even eat their victims?
Nope. WTF?!?

12.) Is there a scene where one of them says "We can lose him in the woods."
Here be your WTF moment.
OMG, yeah. When has a victim fodder ever thought they could outrun a killer in the woods? I mean honestly.

13.) The ending sucks right?
Fuck yeah it does.

And there you have it. I was expecting a little more effort from a indie UK horror production. I'm gonna have to call out the UK and say leave it up to the revolutionists across the pond when it comes to cannibal, redneck horror. We kinda do it better and it's a little more believable.

Gnaw's tagline is "It's nice to have your friends for dinner". It should be "Been there done that, don't watch this movie"

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

Umm. That's it. The end. Go home now. Review is over. Good night.

Rating:

jaded viewer related linkage:
The Cottage (Review)
Dismal Eat or Be Eaten (Review)


Tags:
gnaw, gnaw review , gnaw trailer , uk horror, cannibal horror, horror blog

Labels: 2009 grindhouse movies, 2009 horror dvd, 2009 horror movies, cannibal films, gnaw, gnaw review, rednecks, UK horror

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Jack Ketchum's Offspring

Jack Ketchum's Offspring (2009)

Directed by Andrew van den Houten

[this is a review I wrote for UGO.com's Movie Blog]

I have never read a Jack Ketchum novel so I came into watching Offspring with a unique perspective. The only other Jack Ketchum movie I’ve seen was The Girl Next Door which I ranked #4 on my Top 10 Horror Movies of 2007. So I may not be a big fan, but I do appreciate his vision.

With research, Offspring is a sequel to Ketchum’s novel Off-Season. But horror fans need not read that book as this movie takes place 11 years later. The story revolves around the citizens of Dead River, Maine being invaded by Eartheaters, pseudo American cannibals who are bent on slaughtering the innocent civilians of this quiet town. They are a clan like no other. These cannibals are all “stolen” children and have a wide variety of looks. A blonde cannibal in Mad Max gear, grown up cannibals in Native American stripper leather and to top it all off we have little kiddie cannibals, all unique in their personalities. When the first horrific murders occur, the local police bring back former Sheriff George Peters (Art Hindle) to investigate.

The main townies are introduced and they are no pushover teenagers. David and Amy, a married couple who live with their infant daughter are soon visited by Amy’s friend Claire and her son Luke. Later, Claire’s crazy, psycho husband Stephen threatens to visit and we see his true persona as a misogynistic yuppie when he picks up a hitchhiker.

But all this is set up so that when the scenes of complete slaughter and destruction occur, your empathy gene turns on. The meat and potatoes of Offspring and where Ketchum’s critical acclaim comes from are the scenes of unrelenting violence by the cannibals. Gorehounds will rejoice as we get a wide variety of splatterific moments. Ocular trauma, ripped necks, sliced up stomachs and oozing intestines, infanticide, 3rd degree burnage and a decapitation to the head that was uber stellar.

But top notch gore alone can only go so far to make a movie. The fight scenes are badly executed, the dialogue a little cheesy and the costumes look like they were bought at a less than a dollar store. The characters, probably given more backstory in the book are more like nameless victim fodder. Their deaths lack any viewer attachments and even a horrible rape and bite sequence made me care less.

What the book and Ketchum tried to hint at is that these cannibals are like locusts and it’s in their nature to kill. Moreover, the “civilized” ex-husband versus the uncivilized cannibals act eerily similar when their lives are on the line. That’s the connection you should have made but the movie fails at this and all we’re left with is kid on kid violence for the sake of shock value. I appreciate a hatchet to the chest as much as the next gorehound, but it doesn’t make for an entirely awesome flick. Like the cannibals, you’ll get an arm and a leg to nibble on, but don’t expect to get full from Offspring.


DVD Features:

• Commentary with Writer Jack Ketchum, Director Andrew van den Houten, and Producer/Cinematographer William M. Miller
• Progeny: The Birth of Offspring documentary
• BailoutPrintable Script
• Webisodes
• Photo Gallery
  

Grade: C

You'll like it if....

• You’re a hardcore Jack Ketchum fan
• You love cannibals running amok
• You’re a gorehound and love splatterpunk
  

You won't like it if....

• You bad costumes and cheesy dialogue get on your nerves
• You think Wrong Turn was awful
• You are squeamish when it comes to blood and ocular trauma

Labels: 2009 exploitation movies, 2009 grindhouse movies, 2009 horror dvd, cannibal films, jack ketchum, offspring, offspring review

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

It's not often I hear of a movie that just makes me drop my cookies and milk on the kitchen floor. But seeing the pics and reading the bizarro plot of Tom Six's The Human Centipede, you too will swallow your gum by accident.

Is this the start of biotorture horror?

This plot is completely ooomphy. Right?

Two pretty American girls are on a road trip through Europe. In Germany they end up alone at night with a broken car in the woods. They search for help and find an isolated villa. The next day they awake to find themselves trapped in his terrifying makeshift basement hospital along with a Japanese man. An older German man identifies himself as a retired surgeon specialized in separating Siamese twins. However his three "patients" are not about to be separated, but joined together in a horrific operation. He plans to be the first person to connect people via their gastric system, in doing so bringing to life his sick lifetime fantasy "the human centipede".

Yay. Sick fuckin yay. You can thank the Netherlands and UK for this. Seems Six is echoing Miike and Cronenberg in this insanity, only a trailer and the horror community approval will tell if this is cult yay or cult nay.

Still no trailer yet but some glorious high def pics below for you to throw up on. The Human Centipede has been screening at film festivals all over and will also premiere at LA's Screamfest and Fantastic Fest in Austin.

Labels: 2009 exploitation movies, 2009 fantastic fest, 2009 grindhouse movies, 2009 horror movies, the human centipede, the human centipede photos, tom six

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

I'm a big Quentin Tarantino fan. I just appreciate the fact that his movies are combinations of different grindhouse subgenres (crime thriller, kung fu mania, spaghetti western, war machine, etc.) The argument for the anti Tarantino fans is that he "steals" from other movies. To this I say, all films steal from other sources be it other movies or novels or TV or whatever.

So Inglourious Basterds is a mix of spaghetti western and that 70s-80s war machine shootapalooza (the soundtrack had that old 70s war music feel). And it works even as a "what if" alternate timeline flick. Movies are suppose to take you to a place which warps the real world. Where the impossible becomes possible. And I love those "What if the South won the civil war?" premises that sci fi authors like Harry Turtledove have created. Or what if we Germany did take over the world. And QT says what would happen if we had some Jewish soldiers slaughter dem Nazi bastards and try to take down Hitler.

What we get is just pure, relentless awesomeness. So much pure war brutality and harmonic dialogue that you've come to expect from Tarantino.

So let's get to the WTF list shall we? (spoilers obviously)

1.) The fact the switch from French to English is commented on
2.) Jew Bear
3.) The guy who played Hitler is hilarious
4.) QT's dialogue machine is very much butchered in the fact that most of it is done in French or German and it just doesn't feel the same
5.) STIGLITZ!!! (the Vincent character of IB)
6.) It's Ryan from the Office
7.) Was that Austin Powers undercover?
8.) So Eddie Murphy was potentially gonna play the black guy? (see IMDB trivia)
9.) I-talians
10.) People you thought would live, didn't. You're never safe in a QT flick
11.) Poor Wilhelm (he screamed)
12.) A Mexican standoff never gets old
13.) The scalping is so gore-ific
14.) The branding is painfully knife-tastic
15.) Hans Landa is probably one of the best villains....ever
16.) Pipe vs Pipe
17.) "You don't got to be Stonewall Jackson to know you don't want to fight in a basement."
18.) The bumrush to kill Hitler by Donowitz and Ulmer
19.) The slaughter in the theater
20.) Hitler's bullet ridden body bulleted again and again and again

21.) My random rant. Having seen this flick with mostly jabronis and a few geeks, you knew that the obvious fact that QT had to visually point out the Nazi authority baddies is brilliant. Goebbels, Goering... Not many know of the famous SS Nazis and 2nd in command other than Hitler.

I've seen all of Tarantino's movies and if I had to put a quick ranking it would go like this.

1.) Pulp Fiction
2.) Kill Bill Vol 1 and 2
3.) Inglourious Basterds
4.) Reservoir Dogs
5.) Jackie Brown
6.) Death Proof

Inglourious Basterds is a great flick, thru and thru written for the intellectuals, the fan boys and the masses. I mean it's rather talky, but the dialogue always builds up to a payoff and boy the payoffs just scream yay. I'm going to have to watch this again.

Labels: 2009 exploitation movies, 2009 grindhouse movies, inglourious basterds review, Kill Bill, pulp, quentin tarantino, the wtf list

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Can you believe it? I was speechless when Cory Udler, director of Incest Death Squad told me that my quote of a review of the trailer was on the cover of the DVD. I downloaded the cover art (see above) and there you see it right on the damn cover.


That was just freakin mega awesome. After watching the trailer, it's exactly how I felt. I mean incestploitation has gotta probably gotta be the last frontier of the exploitation genre (Sick Girl is a pseudo member too). But Incest Death Squad, filled with its blatant, in your face title and mindless annihilation of sinners by a brother and sister in love has gotta be breaking the fuckedupness boundaries.

I still haven't seen the flick, but I'm sure I'm going to get a copy soon so a real review is to come. My running gag here is if any of my quotes ever appeared on a DVD box, I would shut down the site. Rest assured that the site is still going to be up and running as this was a quote from a trailer review and NOT a quote from my reviews (yay for technicalities)

In the meantime, check out very quotable trailers by clicking here.

Below is from the official PR release of the DVD:

Cory J. Udler's Wisconsin shot tale of an incestuous brother and sister who kill tourists in the name of God has announced a release date for the DVD. Incest Death Squad (Shalenn Productions) will be available on DVD October 6th, 2009 from the film's official website www.incestdeathsquad.com. The film will also be available on pay per download sites and various locations across the country.

The film was shot from March 2009 through June 2009 and stars Tom Lodewyck (The Legend Trip, Pickman's Muse, Carniverous), Carmela Wiese, Greg Johnson and Melissa (Horrid) Murphy. It also boasts many horror celebrities including Troma president Lloyd Kaufman, Elske (Jessica Rabid) McCain, Scarlet Salem, George (Night of the Living Dead) Kosana and Sean Cain. 80's Hair Metal giants Britny Fox also make a cameo appearance in the film and lend their hit "Girlschool" to the film's soundtrack.

The DVD will include the feature, deleted scenes, interviews, behind the scenes footage, trailers and the online "rants" of Johnson's "Jeb Wayne" character.

Incest Death Squad will be making its world premiere October 2nd as the kickoff to the Madison Horror Film Festival at Market Square Theatres, 6604 Odana Road in Madison, at 9pm. Tickets to the premiere at $6.00 and are available at www.madisonhorror.com. Tickets for the screening are over half sold out.

"I thought long and hard about waiting on distribution", Udler says, "but at the end of the day, after we were turned down by the one company I thought was the perfect fit, I decided to just take it on myself. I don't want to sit on this film for another year waiting for someone to hand me a distribution deal. The film has a great following already and people want to see it."

Udler is distributing the film himself through the website and various local and nationwide outlets, none of which are huge chain stores.

"We are getting into smaller head shops and indy record stores, weird places where people who love good grindhouse film action can find the film. You're not going to find this at Best Buy and Blockbuster."

Udler is taking pre-orders for the DVD now at www.incestdeathsquad.com. The DVD sells for $10.00 with $2.00 for shipping and handling. The pre-orders being taken now will not be shipped out until October 6th, but as Udler says, "The DVD will be available at the screening in Madison on the 2nd and throughout that weekend. It'll be a good thing for fans, considering all of the film's stars will be there along with Elske (McCain) and Scarlet (Salem), a great opportunity to get everyone's autograph and then sell it for triple the price on Ebay."

Udler can be contacted at CoryJUdler@yahoo.com or at (920) 350 0014. He is available for interviews and appearances upon request.

Labels: 2009 exploitation movies, 2009 grindhouse movies, 70s grindhouse movies, exploitation, exploitation film, fangoria, grindhouse, incest death squad, incest death squad trailer, troma films

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

I'm not doing my job correctly if I don't post stuff that's going to offend you. But then again, the hardcore horrorverse is un PC as can be so I'm basically preaching to the choir. So it's good to know that I can post some trailers of Cory Udler's film Incest Death Squad.

Yup you read that right, Incest Death Squad.

The exploitation craze keeps chugging along. I'm going to have to keep adding more movies to my Most Anticipated Exploitation/Grindhouse Movies of 2009. Starring Troma king Lloyd Kaufman and Elske McCain (who starred in another modern day exploit, Jessika Rabid) it seems we're not just rebooting rape and revenge, nunsploitation, and other grindhouse subgenres. Nope we gotta go with incestsploitation.

Well that's fuckin new.

So whose doing the incesting? Check out the plot below. Thanks to Fangoria for the heads up.

Incest Death Squad is the story of Jeb and Amber Wayne, an incestuous brother and sister who kill tourists in the name of God.

Check out the trailers below. The new July trailer looks better than the official trailer oddly enough. Are you going to hell if you see this movie? Hmm. Probably so.





The official trailer

Labels: 2009 exploitation movies, 2009 grindhouse movies, 70s grindhouse movies, exploitation, exploitation film, fangoria, grindhouse, incest death squad, incest death squad trailer, troma films

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

The Wild Man of the Navidad

The Wild Man of the Navidad (2008)

Directed by Duane Graves/Justin Meeks

[this was a review I wrote for UGO.com]

Buy if:

-...you love old, 70s grindhouse faux documentaries like The Legend of Boggy Creek and the Last Broadcast

-...you like Texas style, beer and moonshine guzzling rednecks getting slaughtered by an unseen "monster" in the Texas backwoods

-...you dig those Nimoy hosted "In Search Of" Time Life book shows and paranormal Unsolved Mysteries episodes

Pass if:

-...you're not a fan of blurry monster shots and cheesy gore effects complete with blood splatter on walls and sliced intenstine carnage

-...you hated the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and despise shots of decaying animals and sunsets

-...you're not a fan of bad acting and dialogue that makes you go to sleep

Read the rest of the review here.

Here is where it gets weird. After the review was published yesterday, a user by the name of "bisforbest" posted a comment. He defended the filmmakers for bring back the old grindhouse feel but questioned why I brought up the budget of this film (it was shot on a shoestring).

I love replying back to anybody responding to any of my reviews. I commented back just explaining in more detail what worked well and what didn't. I also said the budget would have helped in better talent, FX effects, etc. Well nothing weird about that so far.

But thanks to Evil Adam who is an editor at UGO.com, did some Encyclopedia Brown-ing (via some Google detective work) discovered that this user *gasp* may or may not be the director of this film, a one Mr. Duane Graves. You can check out the rest of the comments here.

Hmmmm. Well this is getting way too fuckin odd.

Would this director actually cloak himself and pretend to be a "fan of his own movie"? Really? This is some classic cloak and dagger shit which I think is truly unneccesary.

Well you might be asking for some proof? Well Evil Adam discovered that a particular e-mail address is being used by this poster and this e-mail addy can be found all over the web for posts in response to the works of Meeks and Graves (the co-directors of the film).

Coincidence? Hmmm. You decide.

Let me just say that I didn't hate the film (though I gave it a C grade). It's really a great homage to the old flicks of old grindhouse horror docu-style Bigfoot like movies. But due to the acting (locals were used), subpar gore/splatter effects and too many scenes of moonshine drinking, it turned out a little cheesy.

My review echoed the tone of many others from Fangoria, Bloody Disgusting and Dread Central for sure.

If the director is masquerading as a "fan of the Wild Man of the Navidad", that's some sly internet hype scheme he's working. But seriously, no need to do that. The movie has gotten good to great press from the horrorsphere. Just comment on the reviews and thank them for the coverage and press.

That's all I'm looking for.

**UPDATE**

-Johnny over at Freddy in Space posted his 2 cents about this whole thing. Go ahead and check it out.

-I've been doing some IMDB and Facebook investigating. More to come.

-And if somehow I'm 100% wrong about this. I apologize. Evil Adam though, he's not going to apologize. He'd wait until 2012 and the apocalypse before he would say he was wrong. So tough luck.

Labels: 2009 grindhouse movies, 70s grindhouse movies, exploitation film, faux documentary, grindhouse, texas chainsaw massacre, the wild man of the navidad, the wild man of the navidad review

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Fuck. I'm late on this one too. Oh well. I know this trailer came out a while ago but hell if you didn't see it here's your chance.

I've been a grindhouse/exploitation junkie of late looking for those off the wall, fucked up funtastic trailers that make you want to see some hilarious shit.

And Dead Hooker In A Trunk fits up that alley.

Directed by the Soska Sisters of Canada and brought to you by Forty FPS Productions, this little slice of the exploitation pie seems as good as the other Most Anticipated Exploitation/Grindhouse Movies of 2009 I've been previewing your way.

What's not to love about junkies, bad asses, hot women and a dead hooker in a trunk?

Check out the teaser as well as the official HD trailer.

teaser





the official trailer





Also check out the official site. Here's hoping this gets distributed AS fuckin P.

Labels: 2009 exploitation movies, 2009 grindhouse movies, dead hooker in a trunk, dead hooker in a trunk trailer, exploitation, exploitation film, grindhouse, horror hotties, soska sisters

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

I follow a simple formula on the site. I post reviews, top 5 lists and trailers. But not just any old trailers. I figure you can get your regular horror trailers via the popular horror-sphere sites. What I try to do is dig for the more obscure trailers. Sometimes I grab em from the mainstream horror sites, sometimes I'll YouTube for hours to find something new.

But when I watch something that looks like it would be jaded viewer material, that's when I figure it's a worthy post.

I may be late on this, but It Ate His Face is a worthy trailer to put up. I mean the fuckin title says it all and the trailer lives up to it.

Here be your plot.

After setting out to research an unknown section of the great lakes in Michigan, four adventurous students find themselves battling crazed rednecks, and something lurking in the water the hasn’t evolved in over 250 million years. This pre-historic parasitic monster has turned the once quintessential eco-system in this small town flat on it’s back and all living creatures are soon finding themselves prey to it. Intially distracted by the good time they are having and the loss of their friend’s brother in a sick and twisted unexplained accident only a month before they find themselves trapped in a gruesome situation as old as time itself- will they kill or be killed? They will discover that this evolution phenomenon is as deep and wide and dark as the great lake they came to research- if they survive.

Here be your trailer.





The movie is written and directed by Aramis Sartorio (aka Tommy Pistol). Seems so jarringly kooky it may actually should be on the list of my Most Anticiapted Grindhouse/Exploitation movies of 2009.

Due to funding problems it may not get completed. Here's hoping it does.

Labels: 2009 exploitation movies, 2009 grindhouse movies, 70s grindhouse movies, exploitation film, grindhouse, it ate his face, it ate his face trailer

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Thanks to a fellow jaded viewer Richard who gave me a heads up on this little exploited beaut of a flick. Guns, blood and girls. I mean that's gotta equal yummy goodness right?

And it has John Goodman!

Check out the plot

It's a cruel world. So it is in Neon City, where 3 young women (Scorpio's Girls) must fight for the only thing their murdered father Scorpio left them, their body shop.

Von Drago, the evil mastermind of Neon City, and leader of the H.O.E.s (Heads of Evil) has a grand plan for one stop criminal shopping, the Von Drago casino!
There's only one problem. He must first get the body shop from the girls, and they're not selling!

Watch as Scorpios Girls battle a motley collection of Clones, witches,Gang Bangers, and canibalistic clowns in this tale of revenge and redemption.The girls hapless metromosexual boyfriends only make matters hillariously worse!

Check out the trailer or view the extended trailer here.





Here also be the official site.

Labels: 2009 grindhouse movies, exploitation film, gangsta movies, girls gone gangsta, girls gone gangsta trailer, grindhouse, the swider bros

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

As I mentioned before in my most anticipated exploitation and grindhouse movies of 2009, we've got westernsploitation, black doll-sploitation, regular blacksploitation and rape and revenge-sploitation remakes coming this year.

Let's add some NUN-FUCKIN-SPLOITATION to the mix.

Courtesy of the people who gave us Splatter Disco, comes Nun of That, a flick so fucked up you don't need to be Catholic to get your ass spanked by these kick ass nuns.

Thanks to Arrow in the Head, plot goes like this:

Sister Kelly Wrath has got a habit… of flying off the handle. After being gunned down in an alley, she ascends to heaven to receive training from some of the great figures of religious mythology. She is then set back to Earth to join the other members of the Order of the Black Habit, a group of supernatural vigilante nuns, as they fight evil and seek revenge against the mob.

Well you gotta give them credit, the nunsploitation genre of grindhouse flicks hasn't been tapped for a while. It was about time for a reboot.

Sister Wrath, Sister Lust, Sister Pride, Sister Gluttony are all part of the Order of the Black Habit with special guest stars:Debbie Rochon as Mother Superior of Our Lady of the Blessed Passivity and Lloyd Kaufman as the Pope!!!

Check out the trailer below.





This little miracle started off as a short for 2008 48 Hour Film Project (Providence).

Check it out below.





And also as an extra bonus, Hobo with a Shotgun is probably the faux grindhouse trailer (besides the ones in Grindhouse) that's spawned a million copies. Everytime I watch it, it never gets old.

Watch it again you hobo motherfuckers.





Nun of That looks very Isle of the Dead-ish and may even be offensive as Black Devil Doll.

Now I can finally get my lesbian nun fix. Yay. Thank God.










Tags:
nun of that, nun of that trailer , exploitation , 2009 grindhouse movies, exploitation films, gratuitous nudity, horror movies of 2009, rape revenge movies, horror blog, grindhouse, nunsploitation, splatter disco, naked women

Labels: 2009 exploitation movies, 2009 grindhouse movies, 70s grindhouse movies, exploitation film, grindhouse, nun of that, nun of that trailer, nunsploitation, splatter disco

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post