Friday, February 26, 2010

Can't we all just get along? (Racial Satire at its raciest)

With February being Black History Month, I could have done what Andre @ The Horror Digest has been doing all month and honoring famous black actors and movies. But we here at the jaded viewer tend to skew our look at black history with a different perspective. I've already put up my sarcastic A Not So Good Moment in Black Horror Movie History (if you have another suggestion, let me know)

African Americans have blended into pop culture and should be honored in our new Obama nation. But the struggle continues. And the one thing we should learn about the past is its been a difficult path to gain full acceptance into Americana. The struggle and the revolution continues and we should all keep fighting the good fight.

But the history of this movement in film is filled with lots of satire, anger, revenge and humor. Yes folks, humor. I've pulled some trailers below of some infamous racial satires that slant towards the struggle, the horrifying truths and the improbable funnyness of all that is black and white.

Fight the power!

First the racy raciest race movies of the 70s. Here is the trailer for Fight for Your Life, a film about racist motherfuckers that get their comeuppance.





What could be worse than that? How about the trailer for Goodbye Uncle Tom, a movie about the slave trade by notorious Mondo Cane directors Gualtiero Jacopetti and Franco Prosperi.





A little too much for ya right? OK, let's go get some funnies. Here's the trailer for The Thing with Two Heads.





And finally the whole movie for Watermelon Man is on YouTube. If you've never heard of Watermelon Man before is the plot:

An extremely bigoted white man find out the hard (and somewhat humorous) way what it's like being a black man, firsthand!





So what's the modern version look like today? Well anything from Spike Lee of course. But Black Dynamite was released on DVD last week and is one of the funniest parodies of blaxsploitation movies.

This concludes my contribution to Black History Month. If your looking for more black movies in film, check out Insano Steve's The 10 Best Black Films of the 1990's.

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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Shut Yo Mouth! Black Dynamite is out on DVD/Blu-Ray Today!!!

Did you know that if you purchase Black Dynamite on Blu Ray or DVD you SAVE an orphan from being addicted from smack???

You didn't know that did you? Well it's true. I know you guys don't want to see a 6 year old, addicted to smack breaking into your home, playing your Xbox 360, drinking a Dr. Pepper and then selling your horror collection for a fix.

So do something about it! By purchasing Black Dynamite, you get that kid off the street and into a detox program where he will be given the best in medical treatment (or what's under Black Dynamite's health coverage, plus he gets a lollipop and a dollar worth of quarters for the local arcade).

If that doesn't convince you, then check out the links below.

jaded viewer related linkage:
other awesome linkage:

OK head over to your nearest big box store or these fine online retailers.


Check out the trailer.





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Tuesday, December 08, 2009

The Shortround: Black Santa's Revenge (Teaser Trailer)

What happens when you mix blaxploitation and Christmas? Oh you get Ken Foree kicking freakin ass as Black Santa in Black Santa's Revenge, a short from David Walker.

The teaser trailer is chock full of chocolate chip badass goodness. Fuck Milk! I think we all need to see this for the taglines and one liners.

"In a city where crimes runs rampant and despair rules the streets, one man delivers hope with a VENGEANCE!"

(sounds like Detroit)

"He Knows When You've Been Naughty"

(Nice people get shot by the naughty)

"Merry Christmas you naughty motherf*cker!"

(he's got a shotgun!)

Check out the teaser trailer below.





For more inforama, check out the official site. It's now available for digital download as well. It's also premiering at the Horror Society Holiday of Horrors Film Festival on December 12th in Chicago.

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Saturday, October 24, 2009

See Black Dynamite, Save Orphans from Smack!

Well this is a rare Saturday post because we have an emergency.

Did you know if you go to the theater and watch Black Dynamite an orphan gets detoxed from smack?

You didn't know that did you. Well it's true. I know you guys don't want to see a 6 year old, addicted to smack breaking into your home looking for some loose change so he can get his next fix.

So do something about it! By donating money to see Black Dynamite, you get that kid off the street and into a detox program where he will be given the best in medical treatment (plus he gets a lollipop and a a dollar worth of quarters for the local arcade).

In all seriousness, Black Dynamite has gotten this theatrical run due to the blogs, fan hype and word of mouth. But this has not equaled box office success. If the movie doesn't get more dead presidents, it'll be pulled from it's theatrical run.

So let's get crackin. Do it for the orphans and for the blaxploitation engine that could.

If that doesn't convince you, then check out the links below.

jaded viewer related linkage:
other awesome linkage:

So here are all theaters in the motherfuckin USA that are showing Black Dynamite.


BLACK DYNAMITE Locations & Theaters

New York
Regal E-Walk Stadium
Angelika Film Center

Los Angeles
AMC Burbank Town Center
The Bridge
The Arclight Hollywood

Philadelphia
AMC Loews Cherry Hill

Atlanta
Regal Atlantic Station
Regal Hollywood
AMC North Dekalb Mall
AMC Parkway Point
AMC Discover Mills 18

Seattle
AMC Pacific Place 11
Varsity Theater
Regal Parkway Plaza 12

Chicago
AMC Loews 600 North Michigan
AMC Loews Pipers Alley
ICE Chatham

Check out the trailer.





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Friday, October 09, 2009

Black Dynamite (Review)

Black Dynamite

Black Dynamite (2009)

Directed by Scott Sanders

"Listen sucka, I'm blacker than the ace of spades and more militant than you and your whole damn army put together"

"Your knowledge of scientific biological transmogrification is only matched by your zest of kung-fu treachery"

"Freeze you jive time suckas!"

Those are just some of the lines that Black Dynamite utters when kicking The Man's ass and dealing with some jive ass turkeys. There are a few more quotey quotables that had me on the fuckin ground. But the dialogue is only a tiny smack vial in this great movie which undoubtedly will be one of my Top 10 Movies of 2009.

Black Dynamite leap frogs up top to the best the blaxploitation parody genre has to offer. I'm Gonna Git You Sucka, Don't be a Menace..., Undercover Brother, Friday are classics in this but nobody has had the balls to go all out and never stop, 70s style. The jokes are a mile a minute, the dialogue is spoof-irific, every gag scene is gag-tastic and the look and feel make you feel your back in the 70s.

The movie, running about 90 minutes doesn't stop in its genius comedy of ripping apart the blaxploitation gimmicks and logical illogics. It's a black time capsule of spoof. If you've seen the blaxsploitation classics its spoofing it becomes 100 times better. Shaft, Coffy and something I recently saw, Black Gestapo are utterly parodied to perfection.

I haven't laughed that hard since seeing Black Devil Doll because the beauty of being ridiculous is making sure the audience knows you're being ridiculous. So self aware is Black Dynamite, when we close in on a gratuitous closeup stare by our super brotha, we know he knows we know. You dig?

Boring Plot-O-Matic

When “The Man” murders his brother, pumps heroin into local orphanages, and floods the ghetto with adulterated malt liquor, Black Dynamite is the one hero willing to fight all the way from the blood-soaked city streets to the hallowed halls of the Honky House.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

So for this review, I get quotable. It's the only way I can get through my random thoughts on the flick.

"Anaconda Malt Liquor gives you ooooooooooooo"

From the opening scene of a TV ad for Anaconda Malt Liquor to the closing credits (extra scenes at the end for you IMDB crazy credits peeps), the gags start right off and they don't let up. Our man Black Dynamite (Michael Jai White) is the complete package. A former orphan, he's a player's playa with the ladies, an ex Vietman Vet, CIA agent and a soul brotha soldier. But when his brother gets killed, he has to exact revenge and clean up the streets.

"Who the hell is interrupting my kung fu?"

Many of the best scenes are parodies of kung fu flicks. BD is a numchuck master and the fight scenes are classic editing craziness. It's full of brute punches and Street Fighter kicks, BD has unlimited hit points. I even expected a hadouken to spawn.


"Black Dynamite, that was the best lovin I've ever had"


The ladies can't stand the smile (or lack thereof) of the man. They become butter in his fingers. BD taps the ass of many fine beauties and the the movie doesn't let up on some fine ass boobies. As BD courts smart sista Gloria, it's classic beauty and the beast. Just don't call Gloria a beast.

OK, I'm going to try condense my thoughts and just get to the chicken and donuts of this review. There are a ton of baddies who wanna take down Black Dynamite. These include:

1.) Pimps and drug dealers dealin smack in the orphanage
2.) The corrupt cops
3.) The Man
4.) Dr. Wu
5.) The President

All are dispatched of in true Black Dynamite style with "Dynamite! Dynamite!" jingles and throwaway one liners.

There are gags o plenty that are utterly magnificent. An unlit cigarette being smoked, a boom hits an afro, an overused car explosion, kids suffering from smack addiction in the orphanage, yada yada yada. I'll be ruining the flick if I told you anymore. You dig?

The all star cast cameos can't be ignored as well. Again, just sit back and watch as cameos flood the screen. If you don't recognize some of these pimps and drug dealers (guess who Tasty Freeze and Kotex and Chicago Wind are), you should be shot with a hand cannon. Michael Jai White is flawless in his performance, reciting jive talk like Jay Z lyricalling lyrics. Some of the lines are intentionally off then quickly corrected and White sells his persona and his physique (I mean he was Spawn and Tyson right?) to the max. Black Dynamite's army also shines like hot sauce on a donut. Tommy Davidson plays Cream Corn who has Katt Williams like pimpitude. Bullhorn, another friend-dude helps BD kick some motherfuckin ass.

Finally, the look and feel of Black Dynamite make you DeLorean into the past. The soundtrack is jazzed and funked up. The intentional blurry closeups, bad editing and fade ins and outs are cinema styilized for maximum effect. The sound effects are played like a soundboard and you can't ignore the use of 4th wall breaking with closeups galore.

All in all, you get one of the funniest film spoofs to hit the screen since Austin Powers. I never had so much fun watching a movie this year. Michael Jai White and director Scott Sanders in attendance, saw a very predominant crowd of non honkies LOL and ROFL for 90 minutes straight. I'm sure it was thrill for them to see NYC represent in this sold out screening.

Sure you can see a Eisenberg/Cera suburban self aware comedy, but when you get tired of the vanilla, that's where Black Dynamite comes in. It's pure chocolate deliciousness, topped with hot fudge and a cherry. And don't you want to see Black Dynamite pop that cherry? You dig?

Nude-ipedia

Black boobies
White boobies
Asian boobies
It's a multicultural collection of boobies!

WTF moment

The demise of Dr. Wu by a clever and very fast Black Dynamite

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

Black Dynamite opens nationwide October 16th. I'm not sure if it will get wide distribution but if it does, you MUST SEE THIS FILM.

At first, when I saw the trailer months ago I thought this was an actual blaxploitation movie for the new millenium. What I saw yesterday was better. Black Dynamite hits on all those funny bones of every blaxploitaiton spoof plus being a blaxploitation movie in itself, it balances it out nicely so that you get the best of both worlds. This easily gets 4 spinkicks.

The movie ends on an apology as Black Dynamite says: "I'm sorry I pimped slapped you into that china cabinet". If you don't see this movie, I may be doing that to all of you jive ass suckas!


Rating:



Check out the trailer.





jaded viewer related linkage:
Black Dynamite viral yumminess
Fight Smack in the Oprphanage!!!
Black Dynamite and Supreme Court Judge Sotomayor and Numchucks
Black Dynamite meets Barry (ahem Barack)
Anaconda Malt Liquor videos

Official Site
Black Dynamite Yo Self!
Black Dynamite Facebook site

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Thursday, October 08, 2009

Black Dynamite (Exclusive Clips!)

It's Thursday. It's a very good Thursday because tonight I'm going to see Black Dynamite! Wooohooo! Yay! Too bad suckas!

Well I've been hyping up this flick by posting the trailer, putting up funny ass clips and Fighting Smack in the Orphanage.

I'm super amped up to see this flick and you should be too. I'm going to get ready by drinking a 40 of some Anaconda Malt Liquor and also fighting that damn smack in the orphanage. You should too. I mean these little orphans are hooked and prostituting by the age of 2 for shits sake.

My review will be up tomorrow (hopefully if I don't drink to much Anaconda). For now, check out some exclusive clips from some jibber jabbering cult sites FunnyorDie and OnSmash.com.


OnSmack.com Black Firecracker TNT with Ebony Explosion “Black Dynamite's Dojo”






FunnyorDie.com's Fight Smack in the Orphanage "Man on the Street





FunnyorDie.com's War on Smack





Also, we got more viral yumminess. What else you ask you jive ass fool?

Black Dynamite Yo'Self

Black Dynamite Talkin' Jive (Soundboard)


Aren't you psyched up you punk ass brothas?

Black Dynamite opens October 16th.

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Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Black Devil Doll (Book Review)

Black Devil Doll (Book Review)

"Black Devil Doll" Novel

Directed by Jonathan Lewis (movie)
Written by Stephen Romano

Read my review of the movie.

Read my review of the DVD.

OK to complete the trifecta, below is a brief review of the book. Yes, there is a novelization of the most infamous, modern day cult classic and it adds more flavor to an already awesome movie.

If you've already seen the movie, lets just list what's been extended in the novel.

1.) More backstory of Mubia Abuj Jama
2.) More backstory of the ho's (all of em..you know its your standard prostitute/whore descriptions)
3.) The novel's POV is from a Professor Julian Krantz (Jama's white intellectual bitch)
4.) More backstory of White T
5.) More story about how Jama's life in hell and how he came to be in the Black Devil doll
6.) 18 pages of the final shootout between Heather and the Black Devil Doll (hehehehe)
7.) More backstory of cops and drug dealers on the streets of Oakland
8.) More Black Devil thought monologues
9.) A new extended ending! (with a twist!)
10.) Extended Oakland Fried Chicken scene

There's more and more in these 150 or so pages. It's still got that twisted fuck up feel and it's quite hilarious. Romano keeps the same fuckupness in the book as whats in the movie and goes more deeper and thrusts some grime and dirt into his style.

It was odd watching the movie, then reading a book about it but it still worked. If you're looking to extend your blaxploitation yumminess, the novel doesn't disappoint.

Plus we get what's to come on the very last page. Yay.

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Monday, September 07, 2009

Black Devil Doll (DVD Review)

Black Devil Doll

Black Devil Doll (2009)

Directed by Jonathan Lewis
Written by Shawn Lewis/Mitch Mayes

As I've already reviewed the movie, this is a review of the DVD that comes out on October 27th.

To read my full review motherfucka go here.

Thanks to Shawn Lewis, the producer of Black Devil Doll for sending me an advanced copy, I can tell you that the DVD kicks motherfuckin ass.

First, don't pirate or torrent independent horror cinema DVDs like the opening cartoon says. Just don't ok?

Why? Because you will miss out on the DVD insulting you. Holy shit! I'm not shitting you. It said to get my lazy ass and press play. Fuckin brillant!

So what's in this motherfucker?
  • You get the movie (unrated, uncut and uncensored)
Extras include the following:
  • Black Devil Doll Commentary
  • Cast Commentary (includes H. Murphy, N. Talonz, Precious Cox, E. Branick and Martin Boone)
  • Crew Commentary (Director Shawn Lewis, Producer Shawn Lewis and cowriter Mitchell Mayes)
  • Technical Commentary (DOP, Editor and Production Designer)
  • Audience reaction track from the BDD premiere at the New Beverly in Hollwood, CA
  • Fan Commentary (hardcore Black Devil Doll fans)
  • Photo gallery includes production and publicity photos (set to some cheesy elevator music)
  • Trailers
  • Videos of the Hollywood premiere, convention clip intro and a Netherworld Videozine interview (which has a funny interview with the Black Devil Doll himself!)
  • Awesome animation cartoons from the movie including "Obama meets the KKK"
Black Devil Doll Commentary

OMG. This is the first extra I decided to watch because shit! it's Black Devil Doll commentary. Hilarious. BDD talks about titties, makes fun of the cast and drinks heavily throughout the commentary. He also talks about every violation he did to his costar Heather Murphy and her "bleached asshole". WTF! HAHAHA!

He starts to bitch about not being paid by the producers but gets distracted easily by all the scenes. There's even some quips about Michael Jackson and stunt doubles. Lot of the awesome off color, insanely raunchy and funnytastic rants from the Black Devil Doll you'd expect. It's almost as good as the movie.

I haven't listened to all the commentaries but I except the Lewis Brothers and Osteen one to be quite hilarious as well.

Videos

Great video extras of the premiere and an interview with Netherworld Videozine with Netherworld Videozine's Glenn "Diablo" MacNeil. Just funny shit through and through.

Other Extras Shit

As I said before, all the little animations are awesome. Obama meets the KKK is a good chuckle as well as the pirate bootlegging one.

You also get a nice poster/booklet and an intro from Professor Julian Krantz, who describes the importance of the cultural impact and importance of "Black Devil Doll".

It's one great DVD that the whole family can enjoy. Black Devil Doll, so far is the best movie of 2009. It's everything you'd hope it could be, would be and more. And here's the best part. We are going to get a sequel. Black Devil Doll 2 is coming. You just have to look up at night and see the beauty of space and Uranus.

Here's the official PR release from the BDD official site.

You can FINALLY pre-order your Black Devil Doll DVD’s! Pre-Order now while the PRICE IS LOW! Only $18.95 each, 1st class shipping INCLUDED in the price!

The Black Devil Doll DVD’s will be shipping to you on October 20th 2009 first class mail! Credit Cards will not be charged until October 19th.

And the Black Devil Doll Soundtrack CD’s, Autographed Novels, Shirts, Posters, and other shit are ready for sale too! Get your ass to the site, click on SHOP ONLINE, and Order Now!

The official site: http://www.blackdevildoll.com

Other Newz:

-Be sure to pick up the latest issue of Rue Morgue Magazine. Issue number #93 features a great article on Black Devil Doll from The Gore-Met!

-Rotten Cotton was just updated! Order some new shirts so daddy can eat! Just click on NEWZ for the details: http://www.rottencotton.com

-Our partners in FILTH, Box Office Spectaculars, to release ‘SCUM OF THE EARTH’! Box Office Spectaculars is preparing a special edition DVD release of SCUM OF THE EARTH, the notorious redneck exploitation hit from cult horror director S.F. Brownrigg (DON’T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT).
More details here: http://hardfeelings.wordpress.com/
The trailer here: http://www.grindhousereleasing.com/scum_tlr_lg.html

-Brawlin’ Broads 2 is coming soon! Make sure you check out http://www.theboonebrothers.com/ for their kick-ass weekly booze-fueled podcast and news on Brawlin’ Broads DVD’s!

-Please join our Facebook Group and follow us on Twitter!
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=204426665572&ref=nf
http://twitter.com/blackdevildoll

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Thursday, September 03, 2009

Black (Trailer)

As I eagerly wait for promo materials for Black Dynamite, I'm getting into a jive motherfucka mood by reading the novelization of Black Devil Doll (book review to come soon!) and by watching a French blaxploitation trailer called Black.

Yup. I did say French blaxploitation.

Directed by Pierre Laffargue and starring MC Jean Gab'1 (he was in District B-13) it's got all the elements of The Man, stolen diamonds and our star Black, who is one tough motherfucker.

Here be the plot.

When his Parisian armored car holdup goes horribly awry, our protagonist Black needs to go on the lam. News from his cousin in Senegal about a stash of uncut diamonds in a poorly guarded bank in Dakar hatches the plan to go on a working vacation that involves a little sightseeing and a lot of mayhem.

Check out the trailer below.




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Monday, August 31, 2009

The 10 Best Black Films Of The 1990s

[a jaded viewer disclaimer: this list is all in good fun, why so serious?]

[this list brought to you by the warped mind of Insano Steve, who would like you to know it took 2 motherfuckin hours to compile this list for your fuckin reading pleasure. So the least you cats could do is leave a comment, you know what I'm sayin?]


When people think of blaxploitation, they usually think of the 1970s. However, there was a decade that was every bit as good a decade for black cinema. Let's go back to a simpler time.

A time when being black still scared some white people. An innocent time when crime and violence were still glorified. A time when movies were made as an afterthought to the soundtrack. Oh yes, a time when going to see a black movie meant possibly risking being shot to death. Hells yeah, I'm talking about the nineteen mother-fucking nineties!

And here are the 10 Best Black Films Of The 1990s (in descending order, yknow what im sayin):

10.) Juice (1992)

A lot of white people made fun of Juice's tagline: "Juice. How far will you go to get it?".

Back in '92, there were still phrases black people used that were foreign to the white man. Not so much these days. There's pretty much no distinction between black culture and mainstream culture now. Oh well.

Juice starred Tupac and Omar Epps (in his first role) as teenage thugs in Harlem. Tupac totally rocks the Gumby haircut in this movie. This is one of many movies where Tupac plays a psycho thug and dies in the end. Hmmm.

Epps plays a thug that wants to reform (as he does in every other movie). It's crazy to believe Epps is playing a doctor on TV these days.

Way to go Dr. Epps! Soundtrack badly outsold the movie.


9.) Class Act (1992)

People usually associate Kid 'N Play with the House Party movies but this was actually their best film.

Kid plays super-nerd Duncan Pinderhughes and Play is super-thug Blade Brown. They both have to switch identities with each other for some silly reason and comedy ensues. Kid cut off his iconic super high top fade in this movie. That may or may not have ended the career of Kid 'N Play, since Kid's hair was at least 60% of their appeal.

The last that we've seen of Kid 'N Play was in a recent State Farm commercial where LeBron James makes fun of them. LeBitch likes to make fun of easy targets like Kid 'N Play, Soulja Boy, and Bobby Brown.

Tough guy, that LeBronze James. Hey, was it Soulja Boy that got Youtubed by some guy off the street? Was it Kid 'N Play that got smoked by the Orlando Magic? Nope, that was "King" James. Hey LeFraud, how does Hedo Turkoglu's ass taste?

8.) The Walking Dead (1995)

Yeah, nobody but me saw this shit. This aint even on DVD. Imagine that, in this day and age.

Only movie on the list not taking place in da ghetto. I guess maybe people were getting tired of that, so they made this movie about black GIs in the Vietnam War. In the hands of a good director/writer, this could've been a great movie. As it was, it still is a great black movie.

The only even semi-famous person in this was Eddie Griffin, who was freaking hilarious. Apparently, bruthas in the Vietnam War spoke exactly like bruthas in the 1990s, or so it was in this movie. Every other word in the dialogue is 'mother fucker'.

Lots of Charlie are slaughtered. Lots of bruthas are slaughtered. Lots of low budget explosions. Lots of graphic deaths. Lots of "yo, this aint my war".

The message: If you never been to Vietnam, don't never come to Vietnam. Cause you wouldn't understand Vietnam, so stay the fuck out of Vietnam!

7.) Gridlock'd (1997)

This is only sort of a black movie. I mean about half of the cast is black. But in our culture, we round up in such cases (i.e., Obama) .

Tupac and Tim Roth play musicians trying to kick their heroin addiction in fucked up Detroit. But they find that difficult to do because social/health services in America are a fucking mess. This was a real unique movie because, it's a black comedy and it's also a black comedy (if you know what I mean).

Tupac proves in this movie that he can actually act. The end scene, where Tim Roth has to intentionally stab Tupac so that he can be admitted to a hospital and get off the streets, is one of my favorite scenes ever.

The director, Vondie Curtis Hall, went on to make Waist Deep (aka, the best black movie of the 21st century).


6.) Boyz 'N The Hood (1991)

This is the movie that started all the South Central gangsta drive-by cap-in-yo-ass movies. Just about the coolest shit ever (at the time), it has lost some appeal over the years.

Mainly because, it's hard to even think of Cuba Gooding as a black man these days. Ice Cube has sold out pretty hard as well. And Morris Chestnut seemed kinda silly even at the time. But hey, if this is on TV, I'm still gonna watch.

Personal favorite scene is when the paralyzed gangsta helps out with their gangsta shit. It's a shame what's happened these days to black movies (Thanks for exactly nothing Tyler Perry). And to hip hop (Fuck you Puffy. I hate. You are worst than 1,000 white rappers combined).

Or even black fashion (Have you noticed? Black people dress like white hipsters now. How did this happen? I blame Kanye West).

Obama needs to do something quickly. The black youth of America needs heroes!

5.) Fear Of A Black Hat (1994)

I was a little hesitant to put this one on the list because basically it's a satire of almost every other movie on this list. But this was just too damn good to be left off. Copying the fake documentary style of 'Spinal Tap', but instead follows the life of the rap group 'NWH' (aka Niggaz With Hatz).

This parodies everything you could think of from 90s black culture, and hits on almost every one. Basically, a much better version of the Wayan's satire 'Dont Drink Your Juice....". NWH features lead MC, Ice Cold, who's a combination of Chuck D and Luther Campbell (if that makes any sense).

Then there's hype-man, Tasty Taste, who's half Flavor Flav, half Treach (um, yeah). The actor who plays Tasty Taste also played the gay black nerd from 'Revenge of the Nerds', so that's awesome.

And finally, there's the DJ, Tone Def, who is like PM Dawn on a turntable. One of the best satires ever, though sadly not many people know of it. Please, see this shit.

4.) Belly (1998)

Actually this was more like a 90 minute music video. This was director, Hype Williams, only movie (he just makes music videos).

In a DVD commentary, Williams' only regret was not making the sex scenes more graphic! The 'actors' in this movie were Nas and DMX, who were 2 of the biggest rappers at the time. They play gangstas that, of course, are trying to reform. Nas decides he wants go back to Africa (?!?!?) and DMX turns to Islam (which would seem to go against non-violence).

It's kinda hard to watch DMX act, since just like when he's rapping, everything he says sounds like a dog barking. Everything comes across as angry. But it's as entertaining as hell.

Meanwhile, all of the thoughtful 'message' scenes goes to Nas. The most memorable scene is when Nas gets out of his Bentley (dressed in gold chains and big mink fur coat) and tells a young gangsta "Yo kid, crime don't pay yo. You need to go to college and shit", and then gets back in the Bentley. Yeah, this is deep.

Watch this movie, and afterward, you'll be thinking about life and shit. Yo.

3.) Friday (1995)

My favorite black comedy of all time. Definitely the movie that I've seen most times on this list. If you're reading this, you've likely seen it at least 5 times.

Craig, Smokey, Mr. Jones, Debo, Big Worm, miscellaneous hos/bitches and crackheads. Everything in this was perfect. Honestly, if you didn't like Friday, you suck.

It's too bad that Chris Tucker never made another good movie. Though, I also liked the second Friday, and to a lesser extent, the third Friday.

If they could've combined Smokey with Day-Day in the same movie, that would've been sick. I almost feel bad not having this higher on the list, but alas, nobody really died in this, and that's what's really important about the black movie experience.



2.) Menace II Society (1993)

God damn, what can I say. When I think of glorified poverty and crime and violence, this is the first thing I think of. So much gangsta shit, it's hard to even summarize.

My favorite (and probably everybody else's favorite scenes) were: 1) O-Dog killed the Koreans in the beginning, 2) O-Dog killing the crackhead (so funny), 3) the over the top racist cops, 4) A-Wax killing that fool at the hot dog parking lot ("Hey homey, you need help?"), and most infamously of all 5) Caine jacking that guy at the McDonalds drive-thru. Good times all around.

This was the movie where people were killed at the movie's premiere, so you know it's gotta be good. It's a shame that Caine really fell off the map after this movie. O-Dog would be in a lot of movies, but not as any character even close to O-Dog.

Even the directors, the Hughes Brothers, didn't make anything like ever again. I think all parties concerned knew this was the ultimate black gangsta movie. Nobody will ever touch this shit, so why even bother?

1.) Above The Rim (1994)

Good black movies should have many things: crime, glorified violence, poverty, sex, Tupac, excessive swearing, drug use, comedy (intentional and otherwise), and a great soundtrack. Well, Above The Rim's got all those things .... and it's got basketball! That, put's it over the top.

From the opening scene where a brutha literally dies trying to dunk, to the end when Kyle ends up in Georgetown (Iverson anyone?), there's isn't a bad scene in the whole film. Plus, that soundtrack is awesome.

Tupac plays the over the top drug dealer 'Birdie' who agressively recruits basektball prodigy, Kyle, to be on his intramural team (the aptly named 'Birdmen'). Marlon Wayans plays 'Boogaloo', Kyle's friend and comic relief. Leon plays Birdie's brother (not brutha), who helps Kyle resist the temptation of the gangsta life. Bernie Mac plays a bum, that Birdie ends up killing, just because. Tupac steals the show here, and eats up every scene he's in.

Also showing out is Birdie's henchman (and power forward), Motaw, who commits about 20 flagrant fouls in the final game (none of which are called). The basketball scenes are pretty decent here (not as good as 'He Got Game', but a way better film overall).

My personal favorite scene was in the end, after Kyle beats Birdie's team, and Motaw pulls out a gun and attempts to shoot just about everybody in Harlem, but is gunned down by undercover cops (wow, cops can be good guys!).

Another memorable scene is when Boogaloo shoots Birdie dead in the end. That's damn surreal when you watch it now. Though technically, this is not as good as 'Menace', you really can't watch 'Menace' too many times, as it can be a little depressing. That's not the case here.

You can't turn away when this is on. That's why this is the best black movie of the 1990s.

If you enjoyed this mega awesome list, Insano Steve has also written Tyrese Gibson: Does he really shoot a gun in every movie he's in? and a My Bloody Valentine 3D Review. Check those out as well.

Comments? Disagree? Agree? Love mail? Hate mail? Blurbs? Mumbo Jumbo? Let us know what you think!


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Monday, August 03, 2009

Black Devil Doll (Review)

Black Devil Doll

Black Devil Doll (2009)

Directed by Jonathan Lewis
Written by Shawn Lewis/Mitch Mayes

He's a mothafuckin' Puppet!!!!

If you've been following the jaded viewer, you know I've been hyping the fuckin shit out this movie for a while now.

I posted the trailer back in August of last year and been giving updates on the on and off DVD release. So after much hoopla, hype and uber buzz, it was no question, I would watch the NYC theatrical premiere last Friday with a bunch of other fucked up New Yorkers in a semi packed theater.

And it's exactly the right setting to have seen it at. The special screening was at midnight, (of course!) and the crowd was a mixed bag of hardcore 'sploitation fans, movie genre fans and some manofest white and black brothas who just wanted to see some funny ass shit. There was some yelling, screaming and tons of laughs. The audience participation was as funny as the movie. One dude yelled out "How'd he get outside so fast?" questioning the logic of the flick. I turned to Insano Steve and said, "Wow I was thinking that too but whom am I to question logic in a flick about a fuckin possessed black devil doll killing Caucasian women?"

And we did see some funny ass shit. And barring a fuckin nuclear apocalypse, Black Devil Doll is going to end up as my #1 best movie of 2009.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

(From the official site)

A young, moist, buxom teen vixen finds herself hurled into an odyssey of forbidden sex and unspeakable violence after an innocent evening dabbling in the occult. What started as a simple child's game has now become a fight for her life! What is this evil that she has summoned from beyond? And why does it have a fro? What kind of horrific acts will she be subjected to? And what price will her super-hot, half-nude friends have to pay?
But more importantly, how much Caucasian blood will have to be shed to stop....the BLACK DEVIL DOLL?!!"

Awesome Review-O-Matic

So if you haven't heard of this flick, you must have been in a cave in North Dakota. The trailer spread like fire on the interweb and was a masterpiece in itself. The big question for the movie was could it live up to the mega hype it was getting.

There is no fuckin doubt it does.

From a hilarious animated opening MPAA credit sequence to the closing credit "Oakland Fried Chicken" scene, the movie is filled with so much insanity, you might as well check into the Bellvue psych ward after viewing it.

But let's get into the breasts, thighs and legs of this flick first (pun so fuckin intended). We'll get to the voluptious vixens in a sec, let's first talk about the irrelevant plot. Our wise ass jiving motherfuckin hero is Mubia Abul-Jama, an ex Black Panther whose been sentenced to death for killing 15 Caucasian women. He gets reincarnated into a "ventrickelist" dummy, complete with awesome fro and black fist power t-shirt.

Heather, a E cup hottie soon falls for our hero and they are in relationship mode complete with ice cream at the park strolls, swings and slide fun, picnics and puppet-human grunt-a-thons. It's one of the most hilarious, very aware cliche mockeries I've ever seen. But it gets into much more than that.

Black Devil Doll takes the mild Team America puppet sex scene to a more extreme level, where reactions from our doll make Ole English 40 come out of your nose. Think of the most basic porn movie, all the multiple positions. Got it? Now think of that with a fuckin black devil doll puppet.

Heather's ex-boyfriend, White T also makes an appearance. A "Wigga" in the truest sense of the word. Jealous and bent on capping that midget fool, he comes into play in a major scene later on. But let's get to the good shit right?

Soon Heather has her friends over who arrive and take a car wash scene music video to a next level. Natasha, Candi, Buffy and Bambi are the sexiest of the ho's from the neighborhood and as dumb as bricks. Soon we get some "show me some boobies" and gratuitous Twister to show off their awesome "assets". The sexploitation oozes out for all of us to see, it all oozes out of our doll.

But the movie goes down a more hilarious fucked up road. Filled with fart and bowel movement jokes, sleazy racial derogatory comments and women taking showers and baths, it's also self aware. Whatever you were thinking, our black devil doll is also thinking and telling the audience. It's so clever in its intelligence to break the 4th wall it might have been overlooked on first viewing.

This is partially a horror movie and so the kill scenes are as patently offensive as all the others. Our anti-hero soon dispatches of our hotties in cruel and unusual ways. Rejoice gorehounds! There is plenty of sliced throats, bashed heads and anal rape scenes for you to enjoy.

Yes I said it. Anal fuckin rape. A climactic kill scene has a man get anally raped and then tossed some menthols (what else would it be) Can that actually be topped? Oh fuck yeah. Later, we get more dummy doll-human boink-a-thons that no doubt have corrupted your already jaded cerebral. More multiple positions, more "salad tossing", more "golden showers". Yes horror kin, it goes for the fuckin trifecta of sleaze.

I am leaving so much out that it's best to see with your blaxploitation virginity intact. Never have a I seen a movie where shock scene after shock scene, I was falling off the chair. Having seen Bruno, you can get that feeling of uncomfortableness and nervous laughter. In Black Devil Doll, there was none of that. It's perfectly set up to have you shout "OHHHHH SHIT!!!" and "NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M FUCKIN TALKING ABOUT".

No doubt this movie was shot on a shoe string, but the quality of the movie is not a YouTube amateur wannabe filmmaker. Jonathan Lewis and company made solid quality high tech effects, from the splatterific gore to the "Negroscope" vision (and you don't need Real D 3D glasses for it). Working on so many levels, even the bad acting has to be considered part of the movie.

Black Devil Doll is the apex of all modern day blaxploitation movies, filled with sleazy humor, tons of nudity and splatter happy gore. Harking back to the old grimy and sticky Times Square grindhouse days, Black Devil Doll is a tour de force of debauchery, insanity and nudity.

(I love when critics use the overused term "tour de force")

Many movies claim to try to go and remake or reboot the grindhouse/exploitation glory days. We've seen the shit Hollywood comes out with to Cha Ching money to the bank. PG-13 exploitation might be good enough for tweens, but it's not the malt liquor we hardcore horror fans want.

When a movie like Bruno is the supposed most offensive of its time, out comes a movie from the indie underground like Black Devil Doll to say "FUCK YOU BITCH! I'm the motherfuckin pimp of pimps."


I couldn't say it better myself. Actually I did say it.

Gore-ipedia

Sliced throats
Bashed Heads
Golden Showers
Shit (yup shit)

Nude-ipedia

Really? Do I need to actually write this list? There is so much nudity in BDD, if you blinked you might have missed some titties.

WTF moment

THE ENTIRE FUCKIN FILM

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

You need to see this movie. That's it. It's a must fuckin see. If you call yourself a horror fan, it's the hidden secret everybody has been talking about.

The film has ended it's theatrical run but comes out on DVD on October 27th. Preorder is on Oct 2nd. Also being released is a tie in novel. You can go here for more information.

As the unrated trailer warns: "If the thought of a wayard white woman having sexual relations with a demonic jive ass black puppet offends you, DO NOT SEE Black Devil Doll..."

The rest of you, go see this bad ass, crazy muthafuckin movie.

Rating:



Check out the Rated R trailer.




See the unrated, uncensored trailer on the official site.


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Friday, July 31, 2009

Black Devil Doll (NYC Screening)


If all goes according to plan, today should be the day I see Black Devil Doll, one of my most anticipated movies of 2009.

The last theatrical screening is today in NYC before it heads over to DVD in October.

If your in the NYC area, the info is below.

Black Devil Doll
Friday July 31, 2009 (Midnight)
Cinema Village
22 East 12th Street
New York, NY 10003
All Tickets: $10.00

If you've been stuck in Utah for like forever and missed one of the best trailers to EVAAAAR come out, check em out below.

BE WARNED!!! IT'S SORTA OFFENSIVE AND FILLED WITH RATED R NUDITY!!!!

Check out the Rated R trailer.




To see gratuitous nudity, lots of cursing and splatter-ific gore, see the unrated, uncensored trailer on the official site.

I'll be STICKING IT TO THE MAN with my review next week.

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Thursday, July 23, 2009

Holy Sucka! Black Dynamite and Black Devil Doll (Info and Release Dates)

I recently received e-mails from Scott Sanders, director of Black Dynamite and Shawn Lewis, writer of Black Devil Doll which gave me a happy. It's awesome when both dudes give you props for supporting and giving interweb buzz for their films.

First let's start with Black Dynamite, which screened at the Tribeca Film Festival (which I missed catching it at).

The official release date is October 16, 2009.

Also, the black forces of power Sanders and star Michael Jai White will be at this year's San Diego Comic Con.

The panels they'll be at are below.

The Black Panel
Saturday, July 25
10:00 AM / 5AB
Featuring Ludacris, Kel Mitchell, Prodigal Sunn, Reggie Hudlin, Denys Cowan and BD Team Member Michael Jai White

The Black DYNAMITE Panel
Saturday, July 25
6:30 PM
Hosted by Elvis Mitchell
Featuring Scott Sanders, Michael Jai White, Salli Richardson-Whitfield, Byron Minns, and Cedric Yarbrough

Never before seen clips and more viral videos are a coming like this one where Black Dynamite and Supreme Court nominee Judge Sonia Sotomayor agree on numchucks.






Now on to Black Devil Doll which will have it's last theatrical screening in NYC. I'm definitely going to be at that one so say what's what and give the jaded viewer a shoutout mofo!

Shawn Lewis dropped some motherfuckin one sheets of the film and get this...the movie's got a MOTHERFUCKIN TIE IN NOVEL!

You heard me straight you jive ass fool. A sequel novel!

Check out the images below and click on them for a more detailed look.







As always, head over to the official site for more info.

I'm super uber psyched about both flicks. You should be too. Fuck Hollywood! Killer pimp dolls and throwback black super agent heroes is where its at!

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Thursday, September 18, 2008

Black Devil Doll (DVD Release Date)

Black Devil Doll comes out on December 31st!!!

Details for the DVD have come out.

• Audio commentary by the Lewises and their crew
• Audio commentary by the cast
• Audio commentary by the Black Devil Doll!
• Behind-the-scenes footage
• Still gallery

The first 1,000 DVDs purchased from blackdevildoll.com will receive two free collector's items:

• New BLACK DEVIL DOLL poster featuring new artwork from Stephen Romano

• BLACK DEVIL DOLL soundtrack CD with music by Giallos Flame

Check out the official site for more information!


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Monday, August 11, 2008

Black Dynamite (Trailer)

"Now you see me where I'm coming from you jive MOTHERFUCKER!!!!"

That's how the trailer concludes for Black Dynamite which I got to say looks fuckin awesome. With the influx of revival grindhouse and exploitation flicks coming out this year (see Hell Ride, Bitch Slap, Black Devil Doll), Black Dynamite might pull off the impossible.

Be a full fledge blaxploitation film that has all the elements of classics such as Shaft, Superfly and Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song.

Directed by Scott Sanders, Black Dyanmite stars Michael Jai White as 1970s African-American action legend Black Dynamite.

The Man killed his brother, pumped heroin into local orphanages, and flooded the ghetto with adulterated malt liquor. Black Dynamite was the one hero willing to fight The Man all the way from the blood-soaked city streets to the hallowed halls of the Honky House..

(thank you IMDB)

BD pimps up black women, white women and asian women alike. He kicks ass with killer kung fu mojo and makes honkies pay because "he carries 2 guns, one to stop trouble and one to make trouble".

Fuckin A.

Check out the official red band trailer below.

This is going to fuckin rock. Check out the clip below as Black Dynamite meets Barry. Also, check out the official site and the Facebook and MySpace pages.




Clever isn't it? Black Dynamite is going to kick ass, literally.

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Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Black Devil Doll (Trailer)


I really think I've seen every sorta genre movie. Be it mushy chick flick to hard-gore horror. Hence the name: the jaded viewer. But every once in a while, I'll see a flick and go "Wow that's fuckin new!"

After seeing the trailer for Black Devil Doll, I said that exactly.

Part blaxploitation, part porn, part horror-omedy. It's a mix bag of grindhouse homage and cheesey velveeta goodness.

Director Jonathan Lewis with fellow writer Shawn Lewis (who is the man behind Rotten Cotton and defunked Blackest Heart Media) envisioned this soon to be cult favorite.

!!TANGENT ALERT!!

I bought some shit from Blackest Heart Media (Insano Steve and I called him Blackheart) and even met Shawn Lewis at a Chiller convention years back. I can't believe he made this shit. Kudos to him.

!!END TANGENT ALERT!!

According to IMDB, it's a homage to Chester Turner's low budget Black Devil Doll From Hell.
It's the most fuckin funniest trailer I've seen in a while.

BE WARNED!!! IT'S SORTA OFFENSIVE AND FILLED WITH RATED R NUDITY!!!!
Check out the Rated R trailer.



To see gratuitous nudity, lots of cursing and splatter-ific gore, see the unrated, uncensored trailer on the official site.

BONUS TRAILER!!!!

It's the original trailer for Chester Turner's low budget Black Devil Doll From Hell.




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