the jaded viewer

Nun of That

Nun of That (2009)

Directed by Richard Griffin

I've been on an exploitation kick of sorts. Having seen Bitch Slap and singing the praises of Black Dynamite and Black Devil Doll, its been all 'sploitation all the time.

I hyped the film a while back and after winning a contest on Alternative Cinema, I got 4 DVDs from Shock-O-Rama Cinema including Nun of That.

So after cheering the shit out of the other 3 movies above, where does this heavenly movie stand?

It's pretty solid.

Richard Griffin (who directed Splatter Disco and Beyond the Dunwich Horror) takes the campy premise of crime fighting nuns going all renegade and taking on the Mafia and makes it part Troma film, part exploitation homage and as politically incorrect as you can be.

It's totally goofy, totally over the top and totally nun-tastic!

When you watch Shock-o-rama films, you have to take a different perspective. It's DIY cinema. Sure there are budget limitations, its got B-level dialogue and the CGI is laughable. But you genuinely see the director, the crew and the actors all give it their best and sometimes, something miraculous happens.

You get a fun flick.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Sister Kelly Wrath has got a habit… of flying off the handle. After being gunned down in an alley, she ascends to heaven to receive training from some of the great figures of religious mythology. She is then set back to Earth to join the other members of the Order of the Black Habit, a group of supernatural vigilante nuns, as they fight evil and seek revenge against the mob.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Well you gotta give them credit, the nunsploitation genre of grindhouse flicks hasn't been tapped for a while. It was about time for a reboot. If you're a Catholic or God fearing Republican, you may have a heart attack after you see Nun of That. This ain't Sister Act.

So who are these nuns in the Order of the Black Habit?

• Sister Wrath: She's a got temper like Jules and likes her women a la lesbo.
  
• Sister Pride: She probably make Ellen her bitch
  
• Sister Lust: Black mamba with a side of vengeance
  
• Sister Gluttony: Food is her mortal sin

So after Sister Wrath is kicked from her convent, she ends up on the other side of the tracks, dispatches of some would be thugs and dies and meets the J-man. J-man goes all Mr. Miyagi and we get a gratuitous training montage where the following happens.....

• She gets trained by Gandhi in the art of non violence violence
• Sees J-man sing a musical number
• Meets her guardian angel

After meeting her fellow sisters, they get down to business and start to kick ass. So whose ass are they kicking? Well there are a few baddies that need to be sent to hell. These include....

• Big Mama (the mama kingpin)
• Richie Corbucci (the #2)
• Viper Goldstein (a Jewish assassin)
• And various henchmen

So how do our vigilante nuns strike fear in the hearts of the criminal underground? Well with a 12 gauge shotgun and lots of ammunition. Various scenes of carnage include...

• A massacre of justice at a strip club
• A trip to an all nun bar called Bar-Nun
• A final climactic battle at a whorehouse

It's B-level justice delivered in short bursts of hilarity. Standard gunshots to the head, torso and a few Jewish ninja stars all make this a very fun flick Jesus would be proud of. Sure you get your standard molesting priest, Jewish jokes, lesbo nuns and holy priests (get it?), but its all tongue and cheek and tongue on tongue (wink wink) fun.

This is actually the first Richard Griffin or Shock-o-rama film I've seen since Cannibal Campout and I thought I'd have a hard time diggin the B-level and Troma like humor. But the fact is, the Troma movies tend to grow on you (I mean Poultrygeist was freakin damn good) and here you get special appearances from Debbie Rochon and Lloyd Kaufman giving their stamp of approval.

So when you get in the mood to see mindless entertainment and want to see nuns kickin ass, Nun of That might be your prayers answered.

Gore-ipedia

Lots of gunshot trauma

Nude-ipedia

You'd think we'd get lots of boobies, but Nun of That stays pretty clothed

WTF moment

Viper Goldstein the Jewish assassin needs his own movie

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

You kinda know what to expect when your watching a movie like Nun of That. I found it totally turn off your brain good. I mean it's not as good as Black Devil Doll or the others I mentioned but it's not irritatingly bad as you'd think it would be.

It's available via AlternativeCinema.com

Rating:
Check out the trailer below.







Here is the Nun of That 48 Hour Film Version






Tags:
nun of that, nun of that trailer , exploitation , 2009 grindhouse movies, exploitation films, gratuitous nudity, horror movies of 2009, rape revenge movies, horror blog, grindhouse, nunsploitation, splatter disco, naked women

Labels: 2009 exploitation movies, 2009 grindhouse movies, exploitation, exploitation film, gratuitous nudity, grindhouse, nudity, nun of that, nun of that trailer, nunsploitation

Posted by the jaded viewer at 11:00 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

If you walk into any mom and pop video store, you'll see the same layout in each one. The action flicks are next to the sci-fi movies, which are next to the horror movies. And what's next to the horror movies? Yup, saloon style doors with bells on them signaling the entrance to the porn section.

Porn and horror are like a fat man is with a Big Mac. They go hand in hand.

So what happens when you mix horror with porn? You get Shane Ryan's Amateur Porn Star Killer movies. These trilogy of films aren't like Zombie Strippers where porn actors and actresses show some skin and die a gruesome death. It's not even having Sasha Grey in your flick. Nope the APK movies are serial killer, shot on video diaries where he lures girls, has sex with them (with full frontal penetration, BJ's and the rest) then kills them for his own delusional happiness.

Now that's blending the genres together. I unfortunately have seen the 2 other flicks in this trilogy. After reviewing Part 2, I went back and saw Part 1 (well you know for research purposes only) and they both sucked (...literally). I don't think I'll see Part 3 but that's why I'm posting this trailer.

The two camps of Shane Ryan's work are split. Some say he's a mad genius having perfected this subgenre.

Here's some PRO APK quotes:

"...AMATEUR PORN STAR KILLER 3 makes films like SAW and HOSTEL look like Disney films."

-Basement Screams

All other sites and blogs basically say these flicks are unwatchable pieces of garbage. But the fact that I am TALKING about this and I've warranted a post about his flicks says something. Like porn itself, there are different fetishes and types of pornography (and all of them are a Google search away to view for your perverted enjoyment).

So if we can have midget transsexual porn or 2 girls 1 cup porn, there is enough room for amateur porn star killer porn. It's highly amazing that he's made 3 of these flicks. Who actually watches these flicks when porn is plentiful and free on the interweb?

Hmm could it be because there is a horror aspect to it? That's why gratuitous sex scenes are in horror movies. Because somehow we want to see death when we are our most vulnerable. You can read into that all you want, find the subtext or some shit, but its true. It's like the fear of dying when we're asleep...we can't see it coming.

Horror and porn are very distinct in their goals. Horror poses to scare the shit out of you and make you see something cruel and disturbing. Porn is designed to make you aroused. These are two emotions that somehow are not designed to coexist at the same time. I'm just saying.

But more to the point, is horror porn a fad or will it become a mainstay in the various subgenres of horror.

Such with the August Underground films, new sub genres of horror are peeking into the horror consciousness. Some I've noticed are:

• Serial Killer porn horror
  
• Vomit horror
• Animal cruelty horror
• The "lets kidnap a girl and threaten to kill her" pseudo snuff film
• Religious iconography parody horror movies (eg. Jesus Christ: Serial Killer)
• Slavery horror
• Incest horror (I've actually seen c/o of Corey Udler's Incest Death Squad which incidentally has a quote from this site on the cover)
  

In any case, you decide if these are fringes of horror or will we be seeing more of this stuff. I've posted the trailer to the 3rd APK movie below.

Part 3 Trailer

Labels: amateur porn, amateur porn horror, Amateur Porn Star Killer, Amateur Porn Star Killer 2, Amateur Porn Star Killer 2 review, exploitation, exploitation film, porn, porn trailers, pornstar

Posted by the jaded viewer at 11:00 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Was I the only one who actually liked Gutterballs? (full review here). Yeah I know, the anti argument were the characters were vulgar, it had a gratuitous 20 minute rape scene and the slaughter was laughable 80s slasher fare. But I kinda dug it because of all those things I just mentioned.

The fact that I ranked it #6 on my Top 10 Horror Movies of 2008 kinda says it all. I'll defend that pick as I will all my fuckin picks. So there.

Anyway, Ryan Nicholson, the director of Live Feed and Gutterballs is back with his new flick called Hanger. Put the kids to sleep and get your barf bag ready, it looks like we're DeLoreaning back to the VHS horror of old.

Hangar looks like a cross between Street Trash, Maniac and all the glorious exploitation shit of old. I mean its got hookers, degenerates, pimps, drug dealers, mutants and Debbie Rochon!
What more can you ask for? A plot? OK..see below.

Pulled into this world to take you out! HANGER is a horrifying tale of revenge...beginning with a back-alley abortion and ending with a bloodbath so vicious that it brings a new meaning to "an eye for eye".

From pimps to dealers, from hookers and junkies..."Hanger" washes the filth away with their own blood, cleaning the streets and making way for the ultimate showdown of good vs. evil. Diving headfirst into the depths of human depravity, Plotdigger Films plans on turning the world of horror inside out and letting it all hang out to dry!

Check out the trailer below. The DVD releases November 17th. More from the MySpace site.

Labels: 2009 exploitation movies, 2009 grindhouse movies, 2009 horror dvd, exploitation film, grindhouse, gutterballs, hanger, hanger trailer, street trash

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Incest Death Squad

Incest Death Squad (2009)

Directed by Corey Udler

Well if you're reading this review, you probably realized that my quote is on the cover of the DVD box.

Yup, it's right damn in front in bold freakin letters it reads:

"Are you going to hell if you see this movie? Probably so."

I still stand by that quote. Because after watching Incest Death Squad, you really are going to hell if you see this flick. It's probably what right wing, Christian conservatives will tell you but I'm sure they've never seen a Rated R flick in their lives. But seriously, I've never seen a film which casually displays religious iconography and then counters it with a brother and sister soaked in blood while going all incesty.

Yes folks. Incest Death Squad has incest, it has death and it has a squad. Not necessarily in that order.

IDS is a mixed bag of screwball comedy, Tromaville humor, perverse exploitation and some wicked foreplay. But it also has a few moments of lag, some shaky camera shots and a letdown of an ending.

So you take the good and the bad and you come out with a modern day exploitation film that fucks with your head but leaves no traumatic scarring to the most jaded viewer. And my hype for the film was just that. I was hoping Udler would push the proverbial 'sploitation frontier and take it to the next level. Sort of like where Nekromantik took that other fetish that should not be named.

So want to head to hell as well? Keep reading.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Meet Jeb and Amber Wayne, an incestuous brother and sister who have been given a message from God. KILL ALL TOURISTS.

Meet, AaronBurg, a big city newspaper reporter sent to the Northwoods of Wisconsin to get a story on Chronic Wasting Diseas. What Aaron doesn't know is that his life will soon be turned into an orgy of bloodlust at the hands of the Waynes.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

So with a title called Incest Death Squad you're going to get my attention. I mean how do you treat the first word with anything but disdain and disgust. With necrophilia and bestiality as the other parts of the trio of fuckedupness, you really have to either go with an artsy fartsy approach, be a bizzare comedy or go all grindhouse.

Here IDS goes 2 of 3 by adding comedy to such an exploitation bonanza. The movie is set up in two parallel storylines, one involving Jeb (Greg Johnson) and Amber (Carmela Wiese) Wayne, our bro and sis children of God who use Amber's lusty vixen to lure dumb redneck fisherman to their deaths. The other storyline is one revolving around Aaron (Tom Lodewyck), our intrepid reporter as he digs for facts and meets a motel owner (Melissa Jo Murphy) as they venture off into a budding relationship.

The Jeb and Amber scenes are where we get our fix of horror. Jeb is a minister of death and is the one who invokes the Creator to fulfill his missions. But I really dug the performance by Wiese as Amber. She puts the I in IDS, playing a local Venus fly trap with her lusty sexpot advances on the man population. In the one penultimate scene that lives up to the "I" in the title, they get all down and naked covered in blood. It's not as gritty and sick as it seems but is highly uncomfortable.

In our comedy portion, we follow the slapstick adventures of Aaron and Andrea. Aaron, gets his assignments from a cameo from Lloyd Kaufman (complete with Poultrygeist branding on his shirt). It's pure Troma madness ("I want more dead hookers!") and Kaufman as the newspaper editor is his indie horror DIY best.

Aaron and Andrea scenes were mostly snoozy consisting of casual conversating and pizza eating. These scenes of very Troma-ish humor and visual aided ha ha's were ill timed and sometimes overplayed. I just didn't find any LOLs in Aaron's ineptitude. I mean this dude is hooking up with people left and right and playing the goofball. It felt a little imbalanced but the biggest thing that grinded my gears was towards the end where he encounters the squad.

It's the ending that could have been the complete WTF moment here. Jeb gets holy on a corpse and Amber wants to marry now hostage Aaron. Confused and bewildered, I was hoping we'd see these two get their comeuppance (but then there would be no IDS2). I felt we could have seen some serious carnage and total insanity. But it ended on a quiet whimper.

I think I totally overhyped this movie in my head after watching the trailer. So it didn't live up to my expectations but hell not a lot of movies do. Udler does a good job in his first feature flick taking a good concept and story and adding some comedy and vulgarity to the mix. Kudos to Udler for taking a chance on making a flick that defies all that is mainstreamy. I think he has a bright future in the indie horror scene.

Some of the performances were wicked, others not so much. However, Udler goes all Americana with the visuals of a small Wisconsin countryside. Because like I've said many times before, the USA is the best at making movies about the horrors of backwoods, USA.

Incest Death Squad is a film bent on making you uncomfortable, showering you with clean, goofy comedy than spewing you with disgusting visuals that make you want to stab your eyes out with a rusty scissor.

So should you watch it?

Probably so, but remember do not pass Go. You're going straight to hell and if even if you don't you're probably going to end up in jail.

Gore-ipedia

Snapped neck
Unseen weapon to the face
Bloody nose

Nude-ipedia

Amber boobage
Man parts

WTF moment

Jeb gets holy on one of the victims (wink wink)

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

Incest Death Squad will be at the Crypticon in Minneapolis from November 6th to 8th. It's also now available on DVD. Check out the official site, the MySpace page for more information.

I'd like to thank Cory Udler for the DVD and the quotable quote on the DVD cover. I've always dreamed one day a quote of mine would be on a DVD and now it has. Yay.

Will we see a IDS2? Most definitely from what I can tell. Here's hoping that the movie pushes the boundaries of all good taste. I'll be on the frontlines when that happens.

Rating:

jaded viewer related linkage:
Incest Death Squad (Trailer)
Incest Death Squad (DVD Release Date)

Tags:
incest death squad, incest death squad review , incest death squad trailer , horror movie 2009, exploitation movies, horror blog, gratuitous nudity

Labels: 2009 exploitation movies, 2009 grindhouse movies, 2009 horror dvd, 2009 horror movies, exploitation film, grindhouse, incest death squad, incest death squad trailer, indie horror

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Can you believe it? I was speechless when Cory Udler, director of Incest Death Squad told me that my quote of a review of the trailer was on the cover of the DVD. I downloaded the cover art (see above) and there you see it right on the damn cover.


That was just freakin mega awesome. After watching the trailer, it's exactly how I felt. I mean incestploitation has gotta probably gotta be the last frontier of the exploitation genre (Sick Girl is a pseudo member too). But Incest Death Squad, filled with its blatant, in your face title and mindless annihilation of sinners by a brother and sister in love has gotta be breaking the fuckedupness boundaries.

I still haven't seen the flick, but I'm sure I'm going to get a copy soon so a real review is to come. My running gag here is if any of my quotes ever appeared on a DVD box, I would shut down the site. Rest assured that the site is still going to be up and running as this was a quote from a trailer review and NOT a quote from my reviews (yay for technicalities)

In the meantime, check out very quotable trailers by clicking here.

Below is from the official PR release of the DVD:

Cory J. Udler's Wisconsin shot tale of an incestuous brother and sister who kill tourists in the name of God has announced a release date for the DVD. Incest Death Squad (Shalenn Productions) will be available on DVD October 6th, 2009 from the film's official website www.incestdeathsquad.com. The film will also be available on pay per download sites and various locations across the country.

The film was shot from March 2009 through June 2009 and stars Tom Lodewyck (The Legend Trip, Pickman's Muse, Carniverous), Carmela Wiese, Greg Johnson and Melissa (Horrid) Murphy. It also boasts many horror celebrities including Troma president Lloyd Kaufman, Elske (Jessica Rabid) McCain, Scarlet Salem, George (Night of the Living Dead) Kosana and Sean Cain. 80's Hair Metal giants Britny Fox also make a cameo appearance in the film and lend their hit "Girlschool" to the film's soundtrack.

The DVD will include the feature, deleted scenes, interviews, behind the scenes footage, trailers and the online "rants" of Johnson's "Jeb Wayne" character.

Incest Death Squad will be making its world premiere October 2nd as the kickoff to the Madison Horror Film Festival at Market Square Theatres, 6604 Odana Road in Madison, at 9pm. Tickets to the premiere at $6.00 and are available at www.madisonhorror.com. Tickets for the screening are over half sold out.

"I thought long and hard about waiting on distribution", Udler says, "but at the end of the day, after we were turned down by the one company I thought was the perfect fit, I decided to just take it on myself. I don't want to sit on this film for another year waiting for someone to hand me a distribution deal. The film has a great following already and people want to see it."

Udler is distributing the film himself through the website and various local and nationwide outlets, none of which are huge chain stores.

"We are getting into smaller head shops and indy record stores, weird places where people who love good grindhouse film action can find the film. You're not going to find this at Best Buy and Blockbuster."

Udler is taking pre-orders for the DVD now at www.incestdeathsquad.com. The DVD sells for $10.00 with $2.00 for shipping and handling. The pre-orders being taken now will not be shipped out until October 6th, but as Udler says, "The DVD will be available at the screening in Madison on the 2nd and throughout that weekend. It'll be a good thing for fans, considering all of the film's stars will be there along with Elske (McCain) and Scarlet (Salem), a great opportunity to get everyone's autograph and then sell it for triple the price on Ebay."

Udler can be contacted at CoryJUdler@yahoo.com or at (920) 350 0014. He is available for interviews and appearances upon request.

Labels: 2009 exploitation movies, 2009 grindhouse movies, 70s grindhouse movies, exploitation, exploitation film, fangoria, grindhouse, incest death squad, incest death squad trailer, troma films

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

I'm not doing my job correctly if I don't post stuff that's going to offend you. But then again, the hardcore horrorverse is un PC as can be so I'm basically preaching to the choir. So it's good to know that I can post some trailers of Cory Udler's film Incest Death Squad.

Yup you read that right, Incest Death Squad.

The exploitation craze keeps chugging along. I'm going to have to keep adding more movies to my Most Anticipated Exploitation/Grindhouse Movies of 2009. Starring Troma king Lloyd Kaufman and Elske McCain (who starred in another modern day exploit, Jessika Rabid) it seems we're not just rebooting rape and revenge, nunsploitation, and other grindhouse subgenres. Nope we gotta go with incestsploitation.

Well that's fuckin new.

So whose doing the incesting? Check out the plot below. Thanks to Fangoria for the heads up.

Incest Death Squad is the story of Jeb and Amber Wayne, an incestuous brother and sister who kill tourists in the name of God.

Check out the trailers below. The new July trailer looks better than the official trailer oddly enough. Are you going to hell if you see this movie? Hmm. Probably so.





The official trailer

Labels: 2009 exploitation movies, 2009 grindhouse movies, 70s grindhouse movies, exploitation, exploitation film, fangoria, grindhouse, incest death squad, incest death squad trailer, troma films

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

The Wild Man of the Navidad

The Wild Man of the Navidad (2008)

Directed by Duane Graves/Justin Meeks

[this was a review I wrote for UGO.com]

Buy if:

-...you love old, 70s grindhouse faux documentaries like The Legend of Boggy Creek and the Last Broadcast

-...you like Texas style, beer and moonshine guzzling rednecks getting slaughtered by an unseen "monster" in the Texas backwoods

-...you dig those Nimoy hosted "In Search Of" Time Life book shows and paranormal Unsolved Mysteries episodes

Pass if:

-...you're not a fan of blurry monster shots and cheesy gore effects complete with blood splatter on walls and sliced intenstine carnage

-...you hated the Texas Chainsaw Massacre and despise shots of decaying animals and sunsets

-...you're not a fan of bad acting and dialogue that makes you go to sleep

Read the rest of the review here.

Here is where it gets weird. After the review was published yesterday, a user by the name of "bisforbest" posted a comment. He defended the filmmakers for bring back the old grindhouse feel but questioned why I brought up the budget of this film (it was shot on a shoestring).

I love replying back to anybody responding to any of my reviews. I commented back just explaining in more detail what worked well and what didn't. I also said the budget would have helped in better talent, FX effects, etc. Well nothing weird about that so far.

But thanks to Evil Adam who is an editor at UGO.com, did some Encyclopedia Brown-ing (via some Google detective work) discovered that this user *gasp* may or may not be the director of this film, a one Mr. Duane Graves. You can check out the rest of the comments here.

Hmmmm. Well this is getting way too fuckin odd.

Would this director actually cloak himself and pretend to be a "fan of his own movie"? Really? This is some classic cloak and dagger shit which I think is truly unneccesary.

Well you might be asking for some proof? Well Evil Adam discovered that a particular e-mail address is being used by this poster and this e-mail addy can be found all over the web for posts in response to the works of Meeks and Graves (the co-directors of the film).

Coincidence? Hmmm. You decide.

Let me just say that I didn't hate the film (though I gave it a C grade). It's really a great homage to the old flicks of old grindhouse horror docu-style Bigfoot like movies. But due to the acting (locals were used), subpar gore/splatter effects and too many scenes of moonshine drinking, it turned out a little cheesy.

My review echoed the tone of many others from Fangoria, Bloody Disgusting and Dread Central for sure.

If the director is masquerading as a "fan of the Wild Man of the Navidad", that's some sly internet hype scheme he's working. But seriously, no need to do that. The movie has gotten good to great press from the horrorsphere. Just comment on the reviews and thank them for the coverage and press.

That's all I'm looking for.

**UPDATE**

-Johnny over at Freddy in Space posted his 2 cents about this whole thing. Go ahead and check it out.

-I've been doing some IMDB and Facebook investigating. More to come.

-And if somehow I'm 100% wrong about this. I apologize. Evil Adam though, he's not going to apologize. He'd wait until 2012 and the apocalypse before he would say he was wrong. So tough luck.

Labels: 2009 grindhouse movies, 70s grindhouse movies, exploitation film, faux documentary, grindhouse, texas chainsaw massacre, the wild man of the navidad, the wild man of the navidad review

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Header

Header (2006)

Directed by Archibald Flancranstin

What is a header?

Oh that's the big question that everybody asks and no one wants to give the answer to.

And you're not going to get anything out of me in this review.

Because if you are going to watch this movie, you need to see it for yourself, through virgin eyes. Because after seeing Header, I can honestly say I felt like I was covered in filth and vomit. And that's actually a good thing.

I call myself the jaded viewer because I believe I've seen everything and am too jaded for anything that could shock the shit out of me. Well, Header shocked the shit out of me. And that's saying something.

With the remake system churning out grindhouse homages left and right and Saw and Hostel still assembly line producing torture porn, it's the indie horror scene that goes back to the basics. They bring to life an infamous Edward Lee novella, complete with Edward Lee and Jack Ketchum cameos, supply the most grotesque, sick, most fucked up hillbilly revenge scenario and have the main character, ironically an ATF agent be the pro or anti tagonist depending on the scene.

It equals to one of the best modern day grindhouse movies I've ever seen.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

HEADER portrays the grueling psychological journey taken by ATF Agent Stewart Cummings. On the surface, Stewart struggles to solve a string of bizarre murders, but in secret, his life falls into a world of corruption that's impossible to escape. Deceit, rape, and murder spiral out of control triggering a hellish conclusion that defies description.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Before watching this movie, I read some reviews from other horror sites. The one thing everybody made sure of was NOT to divulge what a header is. And I won't either. It's to be discovered over the course of the movie, but I will say you find out early on.

The thing about Header is that it's as repulsive as advertised. I'm not advocating everybody see this atrocity come to life but I have to put it in the echelon of the most disturbing movies ever made (this list has some good ones in it). Like Nekromantik or Henry or Cannibal Holocaust, these are movies that live in infamy due to their content. Header, given a few years and a Synapse Films release will soon be joining that infamy.

The funny part is the movie as a whole is actually very interesting and when you get past the header, it's actually funny in that 'sploitation sorta way. It's the other stuff that makes it all super duper 70s 42nd Street awesomerific.

So what's the other stuff? Well we get to follow corrupt ATF agent Cummings. He's patrolling the backwoods of West Virginia (advice: never ever visit West Virginia) and he's got some serious problems. His GF is sick as a dog and he's up shit's creek in medical bills. To make up for it, he using his federal powers to help some drug runners.

Set on a parallel timeline is the story of Travis Clyde Tuckton. A recently released prisoner, he's the redneck hillbilly we all believe live in West Virginia. He joins his "grand pappy" who's got a little Hatfields and McCoys in him. Soon these feuds end up with dead girl bodies and both our main antagonists meet in a most fucked up scenario (and yes it involves a header).

Header is filled with redneck hillbillies, corrupt cops, cracker whores and every sort of backwards mentality you can think of. It has that "Fight for Your Life" feel to it in a sense of that southern twang. Add some top notch gore and splatter, some tolerable acting and a landscape of the backwoods of redneckville and you got yourself a self made moonshine of grindhouse glory.

Flancranstin does a great job of blending all this together and from the production took a hell of a long time to finish. The actors are all pretty descent in this, from Jake Suffian as Agent Cummings to Elliot Kotek as Tuckton. Though the performance of Dick Mullaney as Grandpap Jack was scary as a minority at a KKK bonfire. Don't mess with this old man.

Header is the best underground horror movie of the 21st century. Back in the day, you would have to go to a horror convention and buy a dubbed 3rd generation VHS tape of these pinnacle underground horror flicks. These days, you can torrent it and I just found out it's going to be on Netflix. In any case, Synapse has put it on DVD.

If you decide to cowboy up and watch Header, you are a fuckin sicko. A disturbed, fucked up individual. And in doing so, you will be initiated into the elite club of having seen one of the most fucked up films ever made. Welcome to the club.


Gore-ipedia

Headers (like lots of em)
Gunshot leg trauma
Shot to the head (x2)

Nude-ipedia

Victim boobies

WTF moment

Duh. When I found out what a header was.
The ending (it was twisty and fuckin fitting)

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

Header is available now on DVD via Synapse Films. Order it if your man enough. For more teaser and full trailers head to the official site and the MySpace site.

Header is the most brutal, atrocious, f*** up movie I've seen in a while. It brings the glory days of grindhouse back from the dead and does it with a vengeance. They say revenge is a dish best served cold.

Well not in Header it isn't.


Rating:

1/2

Check out a couple of teaser trailers.

Teaser Trailer #1





Teaser Trailer #2





Teaser Trailer #3








Tags:
header, header review , what is a header , edward lee writer, gratuitous nudity, jack ketchum, 2009 horror movies dvd, grindhouse movies,exploitation movie, rednecks, west virginia, header teaser trailer, header synapse,

Labels: 2009 horror dvd, 70s grindhouse movies, edward lee, exploitation film, gore, hard revenge, header, header review, hillbillies, jack ketchum, rednecks

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Fuck. I'm late on this one too. Oh well. I know this trailer came out a while ago but hell if you didn't see it here's your chance.

I've been a grindhouse/exploitation junkie of late looking for those off the wall, fucked up funtastic trailers that make you want to see some hilarious shit.

And Dead Hooker In A Trunk fits up that alley.

Directed by the Soska Sisters of Canada and brought to you by Forty FPS Productions, this little slice of the exploitation pie seems as good as the other Most Anticipated Exploitation/Grindhouse Movies of 2009 I've been previewing your way.

What's not to love about junkies, bad asses, hot women and a dead hooker in a trunk?

Check out the teaser as well as the official HD trailer.

teaser





the official trailer





Also check out the official site. Here's hoping this gets distributed AS fuckin P.

Labels: 2009 exploitation movies, 2009 grindhouse movies, dead hooker in a trunk, dead hooker in a trunk trailer, exploitation, exploitation film, grindhouse, horror hotties, soska sisters

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

I follow a simple formula on the site. I post reviews, top 5 lists and trailers. But not just any old trailers. I figure you can get your regular horror trailers via the popular horror-sphere sites. What I try to do is dig for the more obscure trailers. Sometimes I grab em from the mainstream horror sites, sometimes I'll YouTube for hours to find something new.

But when I watch something that looks like it would be jaded viewer material, that's when I figure it's a worthy post.

I may be late on this, but It Ate His Face is a worthy trailer to put up. I mean the fuckin title says it all and the trailer lives up to it.

Here be your plot.

After setting out to research an unknown section of the great lakes in Michigan, four adventurous students find themselves battling crazed rednecks, and something lurking in the water the hasn’t evolved in over 250 million years. This pre-historic parasitic monster has turned the once quintessential eco-system in this small town flat on it’s back and all living creatures are soon finding themselves prey to it. Intially distracted by the good time they are having and the loss of their friend’s brother in a sick and twisted unexplained accident only a month before they find themselves trapped in a gruesome situation as old as time itself- will they kill or be killed? They will discover that this evolution phenomenon is as deep and wide and dark as the great lake they came to research- if they survive.

Here be your trailer.





The movie is written and directed by Aramis Sartorio (aka Tommy Pistol). Seems so jarringly kooky it may actually should be on the list of my Most Anticiapted Grindhouse/Exploitation movies of 2009.

Due to funding problems it may not get completed. Here's hoping it does.

Labels: 2009 exploitation movies, 2009 grindhouse movies, 70s grindhouse movies, exploitation film, grindhouse, it ate his face, it ate his face trailer

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Like a bumfight in the alley, these rebooted grindhouse movies keep on churning and you can't look away. I've been trying to keep tabs on every little exploitation reimaginging that keeps coming out but shit, there are way too many.

So its nice to accidentally discover this little rape and revenge movie from Rottewiler Productions called Hell Kittens.

Check out the plot below.

When an underground snuff film ring leaves 5 deadly vixens scarred for life and thirsty for vengeance, it's time to see how bad these good girls can get! The Hell Kittens will push the boundaries of bloody revenge to the edge and beyond anything you've ever seen! Does the vile band of violent and perverted snuff peddlers stand a chance in hell against the untamed wrath of the HELL KITTENS? Who will survive their orgy of shocking carnage? How far are these 5 deadly dames willing to go to settle the score? ALL THE WAY!


Here be the old school, 42nd Street style Trailer. Awesome!





Looks pretty damn skippy. It's scheduled to come out Fall, 2009.

Labels: 2009 exploitation movies, 70s grindhouse movies, exploitation, exploitation film, grindhouse, hell kittens, hell kittens trailer, rape and revenge films, top 5 rape and revenge movies

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Thanks to a fellow jaded viewer Richard who gave me a heads up on this little exploited beaut of a flick. Guns, blood and girls. I mean that's gotta equal yummy goodness right?

And it has John Goodman!

Check out the plot

It's a cruel world. So it is in Neon City, where 3 young women (Scorpio's Girls) must fight for the only thing their murdered father Scorpio left them, their body shop.

Von Drago, the evil mastermind of Neon City, and leader of the H.O.E.s (Heads of Evil) has a grand plan for one stop criminal shopping, the Von Drago casino!
There's only one problem. He must first get the body shop from the girls, and they're not selling!

Watch as Scorpios Girls battle a motley collection of Clones, witches,Gang Bangers, and canibalistic clowns in this tale of revenge and redemption.The girls hapless metromosexual boyfriends only make matters hillariously worse!

Check out the trailer or view the extended trailer here.





Here also be the official site.

Labels: 2009 grindhouse movies, exploitation film, gangsta movies, girls gone gangsta, girls gone gangsta trailer, grindhouse, the swider bros

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

As I mentioned before in my most anticipated exploitation and grindhouse movies of 2009, we've got westernsploitation, black doll-sploitation, regular blacksploitation and rape and revenge-sploitation remakes coming this year.

Let's add some NUN-FUCKIN-SPLOITATION to the mix.

Courtesy of the people who gave us Splatter Disco, comes Nun of That, a flick so fucked up you don't need to be Catholic to get your ass spanked by these kick ass nuns.

Thanks to Arrow in the Head, plot goes like this:

Sister Kelly Wrath has got a habit… of flying off the handle. After being gunned down in an alley, she ascends to heaven to receive training from some of the great figures of religious mythology. She is then set back to Earth to join the other members of the Order of the Black Habit, a group of supernatural vigilante nuns, as they fight evil and seek revenge against the mob.

Well you gotta give them credit, the nunsploitation genre of grindhouse flicks hasn't been tapped for a while. It was about time for a reboot.

Sister Wrath, Sister Lust, Sister Pride, Sister Gluttony are all part of the Order of the Black Habit with special guest stars:Debbie Rochon as Mother Superior of Our Lady of the Blessed Passivity and Lloyd Kaufman as the Pope!!!

Check out the trailer below.





This little miracle started off as a short for 2008 48 Hour Film Project (Providence).

Check it out below.





And also as an extra bonus, Hobo with a Shotgun is probably the faux grindhouse trailer (besides the ones in Grindhouse) that's spawned a million copies. Everytime I watch it, it never gets old.

Watch it again you hobo motherfuckers.





Nun of That looks very Isle of the Dead-ish and may even be offensive as Black Devil Doll.

Now I can finally get my lesbian nun fix. Yay. Thank God.










Tags:
nun of that, nun of that trailer , exploitation , 2009 grindhouse movies, exploitation films, gratuitous nudity, horror movies of 2009, rape revenge movies, horror blog, grindhouse, nunsploitation, splatter disco, naked women

Labels: 2009 exploitation movies, 2009 grindhouse movies, 70s grindhouse movies, exploitation film, grindhouse, nun of that, nun of that trailer, nunsploitation, splatter disco

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Every other day, I'm noticing I'm watching a reboot, reimagining or remake of a grindhouse or exploitation flick.

While I'm a big fan of the 42nd Street, gutter, street, vile movies of the 1970s, it's been interesting to see what the indie scene has been doing to make them millennium friendly.

Because of Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez's Grindhouse opening the flood gate to making this subgenre cool again, we've seen a rise in the stylistic homages of old.

Below is a list of the upcoming 2009 exploitation revivals and their equally fucked up trailers.

Enjoy!


If I've missed any, please let me know.

I'm freakin psyched for Black Dynamite. It looks sooo awesome. Which flick are you excited for?

Labels: 2009 exploitation movies, 2009 grindhouse movies, 70s grindhouse movies, bitch slap trailer, black devil doll trailer, exploitation film, grindhouse, run bitch run trailer

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

As I said before, the grindhouse and exploitation reboot craze is in full effect. From Bitch Slap to Sick Girl to Run Bitch Run to Black Dynamite, we're getting more of the ready to eat exploitation movies made for the new millennium.

But the teaser, promo and full trailer for Jessicka Rabid is a little below the surface when it comes the grindhouse artsy filth of old. This flick is a more grimey, sticky floor, very fucked up exploitation movie via the 70s insanity of old.

The fraked up plot is below.

A dysfunctional family, the Hoffman's have been living their lives in a veil of secrecy. Incest, rape are a part of their every day lives. A product of which, is Jessicka.

After years of nameless abuse of her family and neighbors, Jessicka has been reduced to something less than human. She's more of a family pet than she is a true member of the family. Jessicka is the tragic character brought up from her surroundings, and suddenly finds her opportunity for revenge.

Starring Elske McClain and directed by Matthew Reel.

Check out the teaser, promo and full trailer below.


Teaser Trailer


Jessicka Rabid (Teaser Trailer)



Official Trailer


Jessicka Rabid (Official Trailer)



Promo Trailer


Jessicka Rabid promo



Check out the official site for more information. Not sure if this has been released but it will be sometime in 2009.

Labels: 70s grindhouse movies, Elske McClain, exploitation, exploitation film, gratuitous nudity, grindhouse, jessicka rabid, jessicka rabid trailer, rape and revenge films

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

The Last House in the Woods

The Last House in the Woods (2006)
aka Il Bosco Fuori

Directed by Gabriele Albanesi

Why can't it be the first house in the woods? How about the second to last house?

Ahhh yes, those exploitation crazy Italians love rebooting the old grindhouse slashers flicks of old like it was the 70s and 80s.

Can somebody tell them its the 21 st century?

My first impression was it had the feel of the late great Bruno Mattei's cheesy, Ed Wood-ish amateur splatter film, but the last 30 minutes sent this flick to a decent 2 spinkick average fart.

It doesn't do anything totally different. It's your basic jocktards attacking a couple, a mysterious couple saves them but they're actually more fucked up than the jocktards. Lots of gratuitous running and escaping, lots of gore and a somewhat surreal ending.

It's not rocket science.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

There are some lines that must never be crossed... beyond them all... is The Last House in the Woods.

[oops thats the tag line]

Awesome Review-O-Matic

The version I watched was dubbed so it felt weird listening to conversations in Italglish. Aurora and Rino are a couple out of love when they encounter some thuggy thugs. Luckily they are saved by a couple who suspiciously were there just in time.

They take them to their house and Aurora soon discovers that you should NEVER EVER go to the fuckin backwoods of Italy.

Well let me list the generic shit that we get to see.

1.) Deranged murderous couple
2.) Redneck, inbred, mutant sons
3.) Evil thugs playing evil thugs who become good thugs (?)
4.) Final Girl
5.) Arm decaps and some shades of bloody slaughter

So why would this get 2 spinkicks? I have no idea. The throwback to Italian sleaze repackaged is something I sometimes can't resist. The couple has a mutant, vampire son they need to feed. Oops spoiler...sorry. Like it mattered. So they decide to feed the younglings in love.

The thugs fill the kill quotient and die in gruesome ways. We get final girl running and running and everybody who dies, deserves it.

But its the vivid image of the opening scene clashing with the ending that blew my mind. OK spoilers ye mate. Vampire boy's new little 8-10 yr old brother was a survivor that the family took in which they mutant-ized so he fit in. So how did they accomplish this?

By fuckin cutting off his arms and legs and sitting him on a pedestal.

Whoa.

Not a good movie, but a nice 21 st century pre owned homage to mega sleaze of old. That equals decency in my book.

Gore-ipedia (if you want to be shocked don't read)

Vehicular trauma
Arm and Leg cannibalism
Arm chainsawing
Leg chainsawing
Stomach chainsaw and intenstines spewing
Boil pussing
Multiple stabbings
Throat slicing

Nude-ipedia (because you like boobies)

Negative Zero

WTF moment

The armless and legless little boy sitting on a candle lit pedestal

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

This was brought to the States from Ghosthouse, which usually is solid in their selections. Hell even I got convinced I would see a Last House on the Left ripoff. Oops. Not so fast bubba.

Can't say I hated it. Can't say it was good. But as they say, a sucker is born every minute.


Rating:

Check out the trailer.







Tags:
The Last House in the Woods, Il Bosco Fuori , The Last House in the Woods review , italian sleaze, exploitation films, gratuitous nudity, horror movies of 2008, rape revenge movies, horror blog, grindhouse, slasher films, exploitation remaker, naked women

Labels: 2008 horror dvd, exploitation, exploitation film, Il Bosco Fuori, The Last House in the Woods, The Last House in the Woods review

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

The exploitation train keeps rolling.

So after remakes of biker movies (see Hell Ride), rape and revenge movies (see Run Bitch Run) and killer black devil doll movies (See Black Devil Doll) we get our grindhouse remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre/Hills Have Eyes like flick called Death Stop Holocaust.

Everybody wants to get that 70s Times Square vibe going with vintage posters and grimy, static-y, cigarette burn trailers.

Even the most Internet-hyped horror flick Perkins 14 has gotten into the act.






Check out the official site.

Tags:
Death Stop Holocaust , run bitch run , Death Stop Holocaust trailer , blaxploitation, exploitation films, ms 45, exploitation film, gratuitous nudity, top movies of 2009, rape revenge movies, horror blog,2009 horror trailers, 2009 horror films, grindhouse, interracial sex, slasher films, exploitation remaker, naked women

Labels: 70s grindhouse movies, death stop holocaust, death stop holocaust trailer, exploitation, exploitation film, grindhouse, horror remakes, texas chainsaw massacre, times square

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

I put up the poster for Run Bitch Run a week ago and took a look at some production photos. I was psyched then and now we get to see the awesome trailer in 2 versions.

1.) A regular, official PG-13 version (see below)
2.) A XXX, NOT SAFE FOR FUCKIN WORK, TONS OF BOOBIES and all out gratuitous nudity version. Click here for that one you perv.

It reminds me of the awesome Black Devil Doll trailer which totally blew my mind (and other things ;-P)

Here is a quick "plot" summary.

RUN! BITCH RUN! tells the story of Catherine and Rebecca, two Catholic School girls going door-to-door selling Religious paraphernalia in order to pay for their education. Things go horribly wrong when they knock on the wrong door in the wrong neighborhood. After she is brutally raped and left for dead Catherine awakes with one thing on her mind, REVENGE.

Run! Bitch Run! is a throw back to the classic 1970's Rape and Revenge films like 'Last House On the Left' and 'Ms. 45. The film takes place in the late 1970’s where the lack of modern technology made the world a more vulnerable place. This is an original story that has not been explored in recent films. Its uniqueness and chilling subject matter lends itself to horror/thriller audiences looking for something new.

Written by Robert James Hayes II and Joseph Guzman.

Here's the PG-13 trailer.





Check out the official site for more info and production photos and cast info. Thanks to Arrow in the Head for the scoop.


Tags:
black dynamite, run bitch run , run bitch run poster , blaxploitation, exploitation films, ms 45, exploitation film, gratuitous nudity, top movies of 2008, rape revenge movies, horror blog,last house on the left, the jaded viewer, grindhouse, interracial sex, run bitch run trailer, run bitch run xxx trailer, naked women

Labels: exploitation, exploitation film, gratuitous nudity, grindhouse, ms. 45, naked women, nudity, rape and revenge films, run bitch run, run bitch run trailer, the last house on the left

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Let the exploitation craze begin.

With films like Grindhouse just the tip of the iceberg. And other reimaginings of the old Times Square days in the form of Black Devil Doll, Black Dynamite and Hell Ride all making comebacks, you knew it wouldn't be too long to see new rape and revenge flicks like Last House on the Left and Ms.45 (which I fuckin love)

So low and fuckin behold, bring on Run Bitch Run.

No trailer yet but a kick ass poster and a very easy to swallow plot is now available. See below.

RUN! BITCH RUN! tells the story of Catherine and Rebecca, two Catholic School girls going door-to-door selling Religious paraphernalia in order to pay for their education. Things go horribly wrong when they knock on the wrong door in the wrong neighborhood. After she is brutally raped and left for dead Catherine awakes with one thing on her mind, REVENGE.

Run! Bitch Run! is a throw back to the classic 1970's Rape and Revenge films like 'Last House On the Left' and 'Ms. 45. The film takes place in the late 1970’s where the lack of modern technology made the world a more vulnerable place. This is an original story that has not been explored in recent films. Its uniqueness and chilling subject matter lends itself to horror/thriller audiences looking for something new.

Written by Robert James Hayes II and Joseph Guzman.

Check out the official site for more info and production photos and cast info. Thanks to Arrow in the Head for the scoop.


Tags:
black dynamite, run bitch run , run bitch run poster , blaxploitation, exploitation films, ms 45, exploitation film, gratuitous nudity, top movies of 2008, rape revenge movies, horror blog,last house on the left, the jaded viewer, grindhouse, interracial se

Labels: exploitation, exploitation film, grindhouse, hell ride, ms. 45, rape and revenge films, run bitch run, run bitch run poster, the last house on the left

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post