Friday, February 19, 2010

Nun of That (Review)

Nun of That

Nun of That (2009)

Directed by Richard Griffin

I've been on an exploitation kick of sorts. Having seen Bitch Slap and singing the praises of Black Dynamite and Black Devil Doll, its been all 'sploitation all the time.

I hyped the film a while back and after winning a contest on Alternative Cinema, I got 4 DVDs from Shock-O-Rama Cinema including Nun of That.

So after cheering the shit out of the other 3 movies above, where does this heavenly movie stand?

It's pretty solid.

Richard Griffin (who directed Splatter Disco and Beyond the Dunwich Horror) takes the campy premise of crime fighting nuns going all renegade and taking on the Mafia and makes it part Troma film, part exploitation homage and as politically incorrect as you can be.

It's totally goofy, totally over the top and totally nun-tastic!

When you watch Shock-o-rama films, you have to take a different perspective. It's DIY cinema. Sure there are budget limitations, its got B-level dialogue and the CGI is laughable. But you genuinely see the director, the crew and the actors all give it their best and sometimes, something miraculous happens.

You get a fun flick.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Sister Kelly Wrath has got a habit… of flying off the handle. After being gunned down in an alley, she ascends to heaven to receive training from some of the great figures of religious mythology. She is then set back to Earth to join the other members of the Order of the Black Habit, a group of supernatural vigilante nuns, as they fight evil and seek revenge against the mob.


Awesome Review-O-Matic

Well you gotta give them credit, the nunsploitation genre of grindhouse flicks hasn't been tapped for a while. It was about time for a reboot. If you're a Catholic or God fearing Republican, you may have a heart attack after you see Nun of That. This ain't Sister Act.

So who are these nuns in the Order of the Black Habit?
  • Sister Wrath: She's a got temper like Jules and likes her women a la lesbo.
  • Sister Pride: She probably make Ellen her bitch
  • Sister Lust: Black mamba with a side of vengeance
  • Sister Gluttony: Food is her mortal sin
So after Sister Wrath is kicked from her convent, she ends up on the other side of the tracks, dispatches of some would be thugs and dies and meets the J-man. J-man goes all Mr. Miyagi and we get a gratuitous training montage where the following happens.....
  • She gets trained by Gandhi in the art of non violence violence
  • Sees J-man sing a musical number
  • Meets her guardian angel
After meeting her fellow sisters, they get down to business and start to kick ass. So whose ass are they kicking? Well there are a few baddies that need to be sent to hell. These include....

  • Big Mama (the mama kingpin)
  • Richie Corbucci (the #2)
  • Viper Goldstein (a Jewish assassin)
  • And various henchmen
So how do our vigilante nuns strike fear in the hearts of the criminal underground? Well with a 12 gauge shotgun and lots of ammunition. Various scenes of carnage include...
  • A massacre of justice at a strip club
  • A trip to an all nun bar called Bar-Nun
  • A final climactic battle at a whorehouse

It's B-level justice delivered in short bursts of hilarity. Standard gunshots to the head, torso and a few Jewish ninja stars all make this a very fun flick Jesus would be proud of. Sure you get your standard molesting priest, Jewish jokes, lesbo nuns and holy priests (get it?), but its all tongue and cheek and tongue on tongue (wink wink) fun.

This is actually the first Richard Griffin or Shock-o-rama film I've seen since Cannibal Campout and I thought I'd have a hard time diggin the B-level and Troma like humor. But the fact is, the Troma movies tend to grow on you (I mean Poultrygeist was freakin damn good) and here you get special appearances from Debbie Rochon and Lloyd Kaufman giving their stamp of approval.

So when you get in the mood to see mindless entertainment and want to see nuns kickin ass, Nun of That might be your prayers answered.

Gore-ipedia

Lots of gunshot trauma

Nude-ipedia

You'd think we'd get lots of boobies, but Nun of That stays pretty clothed

WTF moment

Viper Goldstein the Jewish assassin needs his own movie

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

You kinda know what to expect when your watching a movie like Nun of That. I found it totally turn off your brain good. I mean it's not as good as Black Devil Doll or the others I mentioned but it's not irritatingly bad as you'd think it would be.

It's available via AlternativeCinema.com

Rating:

Check out the trailer below.







Here is the Nun of That 48 Hour Film Version






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Thursday, January 28, 2010

Exploitation Awesomeness or Sleazy Horror Porn?

If you walk into any mom and pop video store, you'll see the same layout in each one. The action flicks are next to the sci-fi movies, which are next to the horror movies. And what's next to the horror movies? Yup, saloon style doors with bells on them signaling the entrance to the porn section.

Porn and horror are like a fat man is with a Big Mac. They go hand in hand.

So what happens when you mix horror with porn? You get Shane Ryan's Amateur Porn Star Killer movies. These trilogy of films aren't like Zombie Strippers where porn actors and actresses show some skin and die a gruesome death. It's not even having Sasha Grey in your flick. Nope the APK movies are serial killer, shot on video diaries where he lures girls, has sex with them (with full frontal penetration, BJ's and the rest) then kills them for his own delusional happiness.

Now that's blending the genres together. I unfortunately have seen the 2 other flicks in this trilogy. After reviewing Part 2, I went back and saw Part 1 (well you know for research purposes only) and they both sucked (...literally). I don't think I'll see Part 3 but that's why I'm posting this trailer.

The two camps of Shane Ryan's work are split. Some say he's a mad genius having perfected this subgenre.

Here's some PRO APK quotes:

"...AMATEUR PORN STAR KILLER 3 makes films like SAW and HOSTEL look like Disney films."

-Basement Screams

All other sites and blogs basically say these flicks are unwatchable pieces of garbage. But the fact that I am TALKING about this and I've warranted a post about his flicks says something. Like porn itself, there are different fetishes and types of pornography (and all of them are a Google search away to view for your perverted enjoyment).

So if we can have midget transsexual porn or 2 girls 1 cup porn, there is enough room for amateur porn star killer porn. It's highly amazing that he's made 3 of these flicks. Who actually watches these flicks when porn is plentiful and free on the interweb?

Hmm could it be because there is a horror aspect to it? That's why gratuitous sex scenes are in horror movies. Because somehow we want to see death when we are our most vulnerable. You can read into that all you want, find the subtext or some shit, but its true. It's like the fear of dying when we're asleep...we can't see it coming.

Horror and porn are very distinct in their goals. Horror poses to scare the shit out of you and make you see something cruel and disturbing. Porn is designed to make you aroused. These are two emotions that somehow are not designed to coexist at the same time. I'm just saying.

But more to the point, is horror porn a fad or will it become a mainstay in the various subgenres of horror.

Such with the August Underground films, new sub genres of horror are peeking into the horror consciousness. Some I've noticed are:
  • Serial Killer porn horror
  • Vomit horror
  • Animal cruelty horror
  • The "lets kidnap a girl and threaten to kill her" pseudo snuff film
  • Religious iconography parody horror movies (eg. Jesus Christ: Serial Killer)
  • Slavery horror
  • Incest horror (I've actually seen c/o of Corey Udler's Incest Death Squad which incidentally has a quote from this site on the cover)
In any case, you decide if these are fringes of horror or will we be seeing more of this stuff. I've posted the trailer to the 3rd APK movie below.

Part 3 Trailer



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Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Incest Death Squad (DVD Release)

Can you believe it? I was speechless when Cory Udler, director of Incest Death Squad told me that my quote of a review of the trailer was on the cover of the DVD. I downloaded the cover art (see above) and there you see it right on the damn cover.

"Are you going to hell if you see this movie? Probably so."

-jadedviewer.com

That was just freakin mega awesome. After watching the trailer, it's exactly how I felt. I mean incestploitation has gotta probably gotta be the last frontier of the exploitation genre (Sick Girl is a pseudo member too). But Incest Death Squad, filled with its blatant, in your face title and mindless annihilation of sinners by a brother and sister in love has gotta be breaking the fuckedupness boundaries.

I still haven't seen the flick, but I'm sure I'm going to get a copy soon so a real review is to come. My running gag here is if any of my quotes ever appeared on a DVD box, I would shut down the site. Rest assured that the site is still going to be up and running as this was a quote from a trailer review and NOT a quote from my reviews (yay for technicalities)

In the meantime, check out very quotable trailers by clicking here.

Below is from the official PR release of the DVD:

Cory J. Udler's Wisconsin shot tale of an incestuous brother and sister who kill tourists in the name of God has announced a release date for the DVD. Incest Death Squad (Shalenn Productions) will be available on DVD October 6th, 2009 from the film's official website www.incestdeathsquad.com. The film will also be available on pay per download sites and various locations across the country.

The film was shot from March 2009 through June 2009 and stars Tom Lodewyck (The Legend Trip, Pickman's Muse, Carniverous), Carmela Wiese, Greg Johnson and Melissa (Horrid) Murphy. It also boasts many horror celebrities including Troma president Lloyd Kaufman, Elske (Jessica Rabid) McCain, Scarlet Salem, George (Night of the Living Dead) Kosana and Sean Cain. 80's Hair Metal giants Britny Fox also make a cameo appearance in the film and lend their hit "Girlschool" to the film's soundtrack.

The DVD will include the feature, deleted scenes, interviews, behind the scenes footage, trailers and the online "rants" of Johnson's "Jeb Wayne" character.

Incest Death Squad will be making its world premiere October 2nd as the kickoff to the Madison Horror Film Festival at Market Square Theatres, 6604 Odana Road in Madison, at 9pm. Tickets to the premiere at $6.00 and are available at www.madisonhorror.com. Tickets for the screening are over half sold out.

"I thought long and hard about waiting on distribution", Udler says, "but at the end of the day, after we were turned down by the one company I thought was the perfect fit, I decided to just take it on myself. I don't want to sit on this film for another year waiting for someone to hand me a distribution deal. The film has a great following already and people want to see it."

Udler is distributing the film himself through the website and various local and nationwide outlets, none of which are huge chain stores.

"We are getting into smaller head shops and indy record stores, weird places where people who love good grindhouse film action can find the film. You're not going to find this at Best Buy and Blockbuster."

Udler is taking pre-orders for the DVD now at www.incestdeathsquad.com. The DVD sells for $10.00 with $2.00 for shipping and handling. The pre-orders being taken now will not be shipped out until October 6th, but as Udler says, "The DVD will be available at the screening in Madison on the 2nd and throughout that weekend. It'll be a good thing for fans, considering all of the film's stars will be there along with Elske (McCain) and Scarlet (Salem), a great opportunity to get everyone's autograph and then sell it for triple the price on Ebay."

Udler can be contacted at CoryJUdler@yahoo.com or at (920) 350 0014. He is available for interviews and appearances upon request.

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Thursday, August 06, 2009

Incest Death Squad (Trailer)

I'm not doing my job correctly if I don't post stuff that's going to offend you. But then again, the hardcore horrorverse is un PC as can be so I'm basically preaching to the choir. So it's good to know that I can post some trailers of Cory Udler's film Incest Death Squad.

Yup you read that right, Incest Death Squad.

The exploitation craze keeps chugging along. I'm going to have to keep adding more movies to my Most Anticipated Exploitation/Grindhouse Movies of 2009. Starring Troma king Lloyd Kaufman and Elske McCain (who starred in another modern day exploit, Jessika Rabid) it seems we're not just rebooting rape and revenge, nunsploitation, and other grindhouse subgenres. Nope we gotta go with incestsploitation.

Well that's fuckin new.

So whose doing the incesting? Check out the plot below. Thanks to Fangoria for the heads up.

Incest Death Squad is the story of Jeb and Amber Wayne, an incestuous brother and sister who kill tourists in the name of God.

Check out the trailers below. The new July trailer looks better than the official trailer oddly enough. Are you going to hell if you see this movie? Hmm. Probably so.





The official trailer



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Thursday, June 04, 2009

Dead Hooker in a Trunk (Trailer)

Fuck. I'm late on this one too. Oh well. I know this trailer came out a while ago but hell if you didn't see it here's your chance.

I've been a grindhouse/exploitation junkie of late looking for those off the wall, fucked up funtastic trailers that make you want to see some hilarious shit.

And Dead Hooker In A Trunk fits up that alley.

Directed by the Soska Sisters of Canada and brought to you by Forty FPS Productions, this little slice of the exploitation pie seems as good as the other Most Anticipated Exploitation/Grindhouse Movies of 2009 I've been previewing your way.

What's not to love about junkies, bad asses, hot women and a dead hooker in a trunk?

Check out the teaser as well as the official HD trailer.

teaser





the official trailer





Also check out the official site. Here's hoping this gets distributed AS fuckin P.

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Thursday, April 09, 2009

Hell Kittens (Trailer)

Like a bumfight in the alley, these rebooted grindhouse movies keep on churning and you can't look away. I've been trying to keep tabs on every little exploitation reimaginging that keeps coming out but shit, there are way too many.

So its nice to accidentally discover this little rape and revenge movie from Rottewiler Productions called Hell Kittens.

Check out the plot below.

When an underground snuff film ring leaves 5 deadly vixens scarred for life and thirsty for vengeance, it's time to see how bad these good girls can get! The Hell Kittens will push the boundaries of bloody revenge to the edge and beyond anything you've ever seen! Does the vile band of violent and perverted snuff peddlers stand a chance in hell against the untamed wrath of the HELL KITTENS? Who will survive their orgy of shocking carnage? How far are these 5 deadly dames willing to go to settle the score? ALL THE WAY!


Here be the old school, 42nd Street style Trailer. Awesome!





Looks pretty damn skippy. It's scheduled to come out Fall, 2009.

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Thursday, February 19, 2009

Jessicka Rabid (Trailer)


As I said before, the grindhouse and exploitation reboot craze is in full effect. From Bitch Slap to Sick Girl to Run Bitch Run to Black Dynamite, we're getting more of the ready to eat exploitation movies made for the new millennium.

But the teaser, promo and full trailer for Jessicka Rabid is a little below the surface when it comes the grindhouse artsy filth of old. This flick is a more grimey, sticky floor, very fucked up exploitation movie via the 70s insanity of old.

The fraked up plot is below.

A dysfunctional family, the Hoffman's have been living their lives in a veil of secrecy. Incest, rape are a part of their every day lives. A product of which, is Jessicka.

After years of nameless abuse of her family and neighbors, Jessicka has been reduced to something less than human. She's more of a family pet than she is a true member of the family. Jessicka is the tragic character brought up from her surroundings, and suddenly finds her opportunity for revenge.

Starring Elske McClain and directed by Matthew Reel.

Check out the teaser, promo and full trailer below.


Teaser Trailer


Jessicka Rabid (Teaser Trailer)



Official Trailer


Jessicka Rabid (Official Trailer)



Promo Trailer


Jessicka Rabid promo



Check out the official site for more information. Not sure if this has been released but it will be sometime in 2009.

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Tuesday, December 09, 2008

The Last House in the Woods (Review)

The Last House in the Woods

The Last House in the Woods (2006)
aka Il Bosco Fuori

Directed by Gabriele Albanesi

Why can't it be the first house in the woods? How about the second to last house?

Ahhh yes, those exploitation crazy Italians love rebooting the old grindhouse slashers flicks of old like it was the 70s and 80s.

Can somebody tell them its the 21 st century?

My first impression was it had the feel of the late great Bruno Mattei's cheesy, Ed Wood-ish amateur splatter film, but the last 30 minutes sent this flick to a decent 2 spinkick average fart.

It doesn't do anything totally different. It's your basic jocktards attacking a couple, a mysterious couple saves them but they're actually more fucked up than the jocktards. Lots of gratuitous running and escaping, lots of gore and a somewhat surreal ending.

It's not rocket science.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

There are some lines that must never be crossed... beyond them all... is The Last House in the Woods.

[oops thats the tag line]

Awesome Review-O-Matic

The version I watched was dubbed so it felt weird listening to conversations in Italglish. Aurora and Rino are a couple out of love when they encounter some thuggy thugs. Luckily they are saved by a couple who suspiciously were there just in time.

They take them to their house and Aurora soon discovers that you should NEVER EVER go to the fuckin backwoods of Italy.

Well let me list the generic shit that we get to see.

1.) Deranged murderous couple
2.) Redneck, inbred, mutant sons
3.) Evil thugs playing evil thugs who become good thugs (?)
4.) Final Girl
5.) Arm decaps and some shades of bloody slaughter

So why would this get 2 spinkicks? I have no idea. The throwback to Italian sleaze repackaged is something I sometimes can't resist. The couple has a mutant, vampire son they need to feed. Oops spoiler...sorry. Like it mattered. So they decide to feed the younglings in love.

The thugs fill the kill quotient and die in gruesome ways. We get final girl running and running and everybody who dies, deserves it.

But its the vivid image of the opening scene clashing with the ending that blew my mind. OK spoilers ye mate. Vampire boy's new little 8-10 yr old brother was a survivor that the family took in which they mutant-ized so he fit in. So how did they accomplish this?

By fuckin cutting off his arms and legs and sitting him on a pedestal.

Whoa.

Not a good movie, but a nice 21 st century pre owned homage to mega sleaze of old. That equals decency in my book.

Gore-ipedia (if you want to be shocked don't read)

Vehicular trauma
Arm and Leg cannibalism
Arm chainsawing
Leg chainsawing
Stomach chainsaw and intenstines spewing
Boil pussing
Multiple stabbings
Throat slicing

Nude-ipedia (because you like boobies)

Negative Zero

WTF moment

The armless and legless little boy sitting on a candle lit pedestal

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

This was brought to the States from Ghosthouse, which usually is solid in their selections. Hell even I got convinced I would see a Last House on the Left ripoff. Oops. Not so fast bubba.

Can't say I hated it. Can't say it was good. But as they say, a sucker is born every minute.


Rating:


Check out the trailer.







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Monday, November 24, 2008

Death Stop Holocaust (Trailer)

The exploitation train keeps rolling.

So after remakes of biker movies (see Hell Ride), rape and revenge movies (see Run Bitch Run) and killer black devil doll movies (See Black Devil Doll) we get our grindhouse remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre/Hills Have Eyes like flick called Death Stop Holocaust.

Everybody wants to get that 70s Times Square vibe going with vintage posters and grimy, static-y, cigarette burn trailers.

Even the most Internet-hyped horror flick Perkins 14 has gotten into the act.






Check out the official site.

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Friday, November 21, 2008

Run Bitch Run (Trailer)

I put up the poster for Run Bitch Run a week ago and took a look at some production photos. I was psyched then and now we get to see the awesome trailer in 2 versions.

1.) A regular, official PG-13 version (see below)
2.) A XXX, NOT SAFE FOR FUCKIN WORK, TONS OF BOOBIES and all out gratuitous nudity version. Click here for that one you perv.

It reminds me of the awesome Black Devil Doll trailer which totally blew my mind (and other things ;-P)

Here is a quick "plot" summary.

RUN! BITCH RUN! tells the story of Catherine and Rebecca, two Catholic School girls going door-to-door selling Religious paraphernalia in order to pay for their education. Things go horribly wrong when they knock on the wrong door in the wrong neighborhood. After she is brutally raped and left for dead Catherine awakes with one thing on her mind, REVENGE.

Run! Bitch Run! is a throw back to the classic 1970's Rape and Revenge films like 'Last House On the Left' and 'Ms. 45. The film takes place in the late 1970’s where the lack of modern technology made the world a more vulnerable place. This is an original story that has not been explored in recent films. Its uniqueness and chilling subject matter lends itself to horror/thriller audiences looking for something new.

Written by Robert James Hayes II and Joseph Guzman.


Here's the PG-13 trailer.





Check out the official site for more info and production photos and cast info. Thanks to Arrow in the Head for the scoop.


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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Bitch Slap (New Trailer)

The 2nd trailer for Bitch Slap looks waaaaay better than the first. More explosions, more action, more cleavage!

Woohoo!

Check out the trailer below.






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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Run Bitch Run (Poster)

Let the exploitation craze begin.

With films like Grindhouse just the tip of the iceberg. And other reimaginings of the old Times Square days in the form of Black Devil Doll, Black Dynamite and Hell Ride all making comebacks, you knew it wouldn't be too long to see new rape and revenge flicks like Last House on the Left and Ms.45 (which I fuckin love)

So low and fuckin behold, bring on Run Bitch Run.

No trailer yet but a kick ass poster and a very easy to swallow plot is now available. See below.

RUN! BITCH RUN! tells the story of Catherine and Rebecca, two Catholic School girls going door-to-door selling Religious paraphernalia in order to pay for their education. Things go horribly wrong when they knock on the wrong door in the wrong neighborhood. After she is brutally raped and left for dead Catherine awakes with one thing on her mind, REVENGE.

Run! Bitch Run! is a throw back to the classic 1970's Rape and Revenge films like 'Last House On the Left' and 'Ms. 45. The film takes place in the late 1970’s where the lack of modern technology made the world a more vulnerable place. This is an original story that has not been explored in recent films. Its uniqueness and chilling subject matter lends itself to horror/thriller audiences looking for something new.

Written by Robert James Hayes II and Joseph Guzman.


Check out the official site for more info and production photos and cast info. Thanks to Arrow in the Head for the scoop.


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Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Rewind: Riot on 42nd Street (Trailer)

Ohhh the glory days of sleazy exploitation and grindhouse flicks!!

Everybody should see this trailer once.

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Saturday, August 09, 2008

Bitch Slap (Trailer)

You know what? I didn't get the memo about the blaxploitation, muscle car, Pussycat Kill Kill Kill, grindhouse revivals.

I finally got the TPS report so I'm now up to speed.

Hence after seeing the must see trailer of the year (Black Devil Doll), the 2nd most kick ass trailer has got to be from Bitch Slap.

Starring some hot blooded, kick ass, heavy artillery, much hot vixens. It's Kill Bill meets Grindhouse. Looks very Tarantino-ish but homages the revenge chick movies to a tee.

The movie stars Julia Voth (Trixie), Erin Cummings (Hel) and America Olivo (Camaro) as three bad girls who try to extort money from an underworld kingpin.

From the trailer, looks like it's going to be harder than they thought.

Check out the trailer below.



Also check out the official site for a high def trailer.

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