the jaded viewer

Summer School

Summer School (2006)

Directed by Lance Hendrickson/Troy McCall/Mike P. Nelson/Steven Rhoden/Ben Trandem

Holy #2 pencil! Summer School was a shockingly damn good indie horror flick. Let me preface by saying I have to thank CTK @ Planet of Terror for being the winner of his Summer School contest he had last year. I submitted my own high school story and surprisingly won.

CTK has done extensive research into the film and has written a review and procured a interview with the directors. After you see the film, be sure to check his review and the interview. They give deep insight into the making of and the writing of the film.

In any case, Summer School is somewhat of a success story of what 5 guys can do when they collaborate their creative genius into one cohesive story. Just as CTK mentioned, the poster and the trailer don't do the movie justice. You have to actually see this flick free of propaganda to get the twists and turns of it all.

OK enough yapping, I'll just give my quick thoughts on each of the "classes" within the film.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Having spent the last three days watching crappy B grade horror films, to catch up on his website movie reviews, Charles attempts to attend his first day of Summer School. All he wants to do is get his Physics class out of the way before starting senior year. Attending Summer School as well, by court order no less, are two of Charles' friends Dennis and Steve. Also his crush Lindsey appears to finally be noticing him. If his teacher, Mrs. Wickham, doesn't drive him insane what lurks in the school just might.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

I hate to keep quoting from CTK's Planet of Terror review but he hits the nail on the head describing Summer School as "a horror movie version of Groundhog's Day". The movie follows Charlie, a horror blogger who can't stay awake during class and thus falls asleep and has his nightmares turn into an anthology of the greatest horror genre hits.

This leads into various "segments" that are directed by 5 different directors. So lets go over these segments or as I liked to call em, Summer School for the Horror fan.

Intro to Ancient Cultures and their tendency for human sacrifice

This is the first nightmare and it gets you into what the rest of the movie is about. I'm a non -Druid horror fan and bloody cloak and daggers were a solid opening set up.

Intro to Infections and how to die painfully when you get infected

This nightmare for Charlie was a little goofy but seemed to be purposefully be comedic. Very The Thing-ish and homages all those infection movies. The "monsters" at the end were too corny for me.

Intro to Nazi Atrocities and how you can avoid being genocided

My absolute favorite of the nightmares. This one tributes those exploitation/grindhouse She Wolf of the SS films. The scenes here have the most suspense and are cleverly done. The one thing about Summer School is its low budget but these filmmakers do alot with what they have. Lots of angles where we see Charlie and his friends hiding in the foreground and an enemy approaches from the background. Good stuff.

And this had ocular trauma!

Intro to Emo Vampires (or why Goths wear black)

It was either going to be vampires or zombies. They went with the one's that sparkle. You can see some Raimi and Peter Jackson in this nightmare. This is a horror comedy segment with all the bells and whistles. Even a few one liners had me chuckle.

Intro to the typical citizen of West Virginia

Rednecks and hillbillies in this one. Lots of Deliverancey ickyness and a few gun toting rednecks on the chase. Poor Charlie, he did his best to not squeal like a piggy.

Intro to the mind of the serial slasher (or little knives work as good as big ones)

Slasher time. But with a twist. The movie follows Charlie and we see his evolution has he keeps waking up in a different nightmare. By the time he wakes up here, he's fuckin pissed off.

...Class Dismissed

The movie ties in all of these well. Poor Charlie plays victim but in each of his nightmares and his friends (his stoner buds Dennis and Steve, his crush Lindsey, his teacher and the school officer show up in various alter egos.

The ending was definitely the WTF Momentof the entire movie.

Summer School is out of pocket, love of the genre, indie horror done uber awesomely. The gore and splatter is top notch for the minimal budget, the actors and actresses are solid and the use of the school interior is never repetitive.

The best comparison is those 80s comedies about Summer School (I mean there's only one 80s comedy about summer school) but with a horror twist with a shot of red tequila. What the filmmakers created is a credit to what a good story, a creative gimmick, solid acting and old school effects can accomplish.

So enroll now and you'll love all the classes in Summer School for the Horror fan.

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

I believe the movie is on Netflix as well as on DVD. I'm sure you can watch the flick somehow. Not all indie horror is theatrical and sometimes you have to search long and hard to find a few diamonds in the rough.

Summer School gets an B+, 3 gold stars and a scratch and sniff sticker that reads "Great Job!"

Head over to the official site for more information.

Rating:
Check out the trailer below.

Labels: independent cinema, indepentent horror, indie horror, netlfix, summer school

Posted by the jaded viewer at 11:00 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Deadgirl

Deadgirl (2009)

Directed by Marcel Sarmiento and Gadi Harel

"Wanna see a dead body?"

Deadgirl is like a depraved, warped up horror version of Stand by Me. Think an indie film with a horror element Romero-ed into it. Such is the beauty and the chill sicko-ness of Deadgirl, definitely one of the top 10 horror movies of 2009.

I've seen films where as I'm watching I feel really ashamed to be seeing this. Deadgirl so disturbing yet highly provocative that at the end you feel dirty, kinda ugh and your definitely not Jersey Shore fist pumping in the air. But when a movie like this comes along, you have to give it a standing O. It puts on screen images that challenge your morality, question your ethics, think of things a little differently and amp up your Klingon vengeance served cold. So many emotions are rushed into you in an hour 40 min, that even though they're not happy thoughts, it leaves an impact even the most logical Vulcan would feel. (yay! 2 Star Trek references in 2 straight sentences!)

Deadgirl is what a horror movie that runs fuel of all that is wrong, but somehow you want to see this Elephant Man car all the way to the end. That's the nature of seeing something so raw, so real and so disturbingly human.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Two high school boys discover an imprisoned woman in an abandoned mental asylum who cannot die.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Rickie (Shiloh Fernandez) and JT (Noah Segan) are stoner high school friends, our stereotypical high school burnouts who discover in a abandoned mental hospital a decaying woman who is unbelievably alive. Their discovery and what they should do is shocking but also establishes who these kids are. Rickie is our anti-hero, whose ethically challenged and JT who basically wants to play with their new sex toy and has no qualms about doing some fucked up shit.

In the middle of all this, Rickie has a uber crush on JoAnn, who is the GF of jock douchebag Johnny. After JT brings their other friend Wheeler into the mix, the wheels start turning as we see JT and Wheeler violate the decomposing corpse and Rickie struggling with what do. The film focuses on Rickie, his family life, his obsessive stalker persona of JoAnn and keeping this fuckin huge secret...well a secret. Later, others "discover" what's going on, pay for their horniness and leads to a JT vs Rickie vs Deadgirl showdown. The core will have figured out the ending but the jabronis (the few who attempted to watch this) will be screaming bloody murder.

Got all that?
To review this movie you really have to strip the horror part of the zombie girl out of the mix. Because when you do, all your left with is a movie about men's perception of women, a teenage angst high school flick and the control of your destiny. Sure, we got zombies, some gore and splatter but Sarmiento and Harel could have easily made an ALIVE girl and not a Deadgirl and we would be talking about the same things (and worst, it would have made this movie 1 billion times more disturbing).

The misogyny engrained in Deadgirl is highly graphic. Not glamorized but highly gritty, the dead girl (played by Jenny Spain) is repeatedly raped and tortured. Treated as a piece of meat, the film takes the high ground in terms of torture porn. All the men who partake don't do it because they are evil (I mean they are...to do this, you gotta be fucked up) but because it's controlled and predictable. The opportunity is 100% guaranteed and in this adolescent world, it is - the peer pressure that overtakes all logic.

This segways into the teenage high school angst aspect. JT, Rickie and Wheeler get the crap beaten out of them by the jockiest jocks. With no control in the outside world, they are crawl into the basement of the mental asylum where they are in control. Deadgirl plays into the high school dynamic perfectly. In one way, Rickie goes back and forth between the two. His love for JoAnn in the real world is unpredictable and painful as opposed to this deadgirl world. But Deadgirl doesn't deliver us a John Hughes Bender/Claire happy ending. It's too smart to know we won't buy it. Instead, the reality of the 2 worlds clashes and in the end you get one that's blended like a bizarro world.

And that's why JT and Wheeler embrace the dead girl world. In a most WTF moment,JT puts lipstick and a glamor mag on the dead girl to make her "attractive". They have accepted that they'll be pumping gas or live a life destined to servicing the above classes. JT utters this to Rickie towards the end of the movie.

"Think about it, we're just can fodder for the rest of the world. Down here we're in control. We call the shots down here....you don't have to be the nice guy"

Three distinct issues are blended into a movie and throw in a zombie girl (fun fact! the term zombie is never uttered by any of the characters) and it all equals a horror movie that you want to recommend but are ashamed to admit you watched. What the Deadgirl represents is multiple ideas. Our objectification of women, our longing to be better than who we are and our motivation to control our lives and the moments in them because we thing it's the easiest route to happiness.

Filled with the most disturbing and fucked up scenes of human depravity and even some moments of ha ha's, Deadgirl has vaulted up on my list of the best horror movies of 2009. The performances from the no-name cast are solid as is the story from Trent Haaga and the direction from Sarmiento and Harel. The disturbing images and some scenes of drag and even a few hiccuping weirdness knock out a half from my rating. When I tell you a movie makes an impact, don't take that shit likely.

That's my way of telling you to see this film with a bag over my head.

Gore-ipedia

Oozing oozes
Corpse rotting
Face and lip trauma
Corpse yuckiness
Deadgirl ickyness

Nude-ipedia

Is corpse nudity considered nudity?

WTF moment

Zombie BJ
One hell of a shit
Big momma kicks the crap out JT and Wheeler

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

This is another movie I've watched towards the end of the year so I can come up with a clear list of my top 10 horror movies of 2009. I do this every year and every freakin year something gets bumped that I originally had on there.

The fact that Deadgirl is going to bump something off the list, says frakin volumes.

It's out on DVD, probably through Amazon and Netflix or wherever you get your movies these days.

Rating:

1/2

Check out the trailer below.

Labels: 2009 horror dvd, 2009 horror movies, 2009 horror trailers, american horror, deadgirl, indepentent horror, indie horror, zombies, zombies pov

Posted by the jaded viewer at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Evil Things

Evil Things (2009)

Directed by Dominic Perez

I've been on a tear reviewing some indie horror films of late (see The Landlord and Thicker than Water: The Vampire Diaries). Its a credit to the fact that I want the jaded viewer to be a haven of where little engines that could can reap the benefits of getting press and pub from the horror-sphere.

Because it's the indie filmmakers that put Hollywood on their toes. This is where creativity is still alive and where we the audience can go to when we're sick of the umpteenth Saw film or the remake of another remake.

So I'm glad director Dominic Perez sent me over a screener of his film Evil Things. The first thing when I received it was I thought I was being busted by the FBI. The packaging of this little film is done quite inventively.

As you can see below, we get an "official" FBI letter (not pictured), a DVD in FBI style labeling and a very authentic looking FBI evidence bag. Wow. I thought Fox Mulder would be knocking on my door any second.

Now that's some creative viral marketing. With the officialnessy comes the official website which has some short pleas for help from the family members who seen their kin disappear.

I know what you're saying. You're getting the sinking feeling you've seen this all before.

Ahem.

Yes, the movie feels very Blair Witch Project which is the inevitable conclusion people may come to when they see the trailer or movie for the first time. With the proliferation of SOV/POV movies (see Cloverfield, Rec, Diary of the Dead) that's been invading the horror-sphere of late, I have to admit I'm not a big proponent.

So would a movie that follows the formula be any different?

Let's see.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

On January 9th 2009, 5 college students left New York City for a weekend in the country. 48 hours later they vanished without a trace. There were no leads and no evidence...until now.

It’s Miriam’s 21st Birthday. As a birthday gift, Miriam’s aunt Gail lends Miriam her beautiful country house for an entire weekend. Aunt Gail’s country house is amazing. It’s a four bedroom house surrounded by breathtaking mountains and miles and miles of woods. Miriam invites her college buddies Cassy, Mark, Tanya and Leo to join her at the country house for what looks to be the most amazing weekend ever. Of course they all jump at the chance to spend a free weekend in the country, in the middle of nowhere.

Miriam’s friends are totally in the mood for a big time party weekend. They’re also anxious to escape the dark and gloomy concrete jungle known as Manhattan. Miriam, Cassy and Tanya bring the food. Mark brings the beer and Leo, the aspiring filmmaker, brings his new video camera. Leo hopes to produce a short movie by documenting every amazing moment of this weekend getaway. Unfortunately, what Leo ends up capturing on camera is not a weekend of peace and tranquility, but a nightmarish descent into pure terror.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Let's start off with what the formula for shot on video, POV horror films.

1.) The camera "person" films everything
2.) His friends who become part of the video
3.) Something sinister starts to scare them
4.) The film ends with "the final shot" that gets the audience shocked

This is of course how Evil Things starts off as Leo, our camera guy wants to document his vacation with his friends. His friends are of course OK with the fact that he is filming EVERYTHING. Which begs the standard..."Stop filming me!" quotables throughout. There is really no justification for him to film while horror ensues, but he does which makes only sense in this universe.

Leo's hipster friends fall into their hipster stereotypes. That's not to say it's a bad thing. We've got Leo of course our NYU film student gone wild, Miriam, the birthday girl, Cassy, the pseudo leader, her boyfriend Mark the tough guy and the hot Tanya, our sick yet sassy friend.

When I reviewed Cloverfield, I wanted all the hipsters to die. All of them we're terribly annoying. However, in Evil Things I must say, I didn't have this homicidal tendency. Each of the characters, though flawed and prone to panic every 5 seconds, had me actually rooting for them to survive (though we know they all die because of the fact this is FBI evidence).

This is very important in these POV films. If I am not to made to care about this inner circle of friends, boredom sets in. All of them we're not terribly annoying nor were they people I'd actually want to hang out with (except Tanya :-P). The other thing I need to have is some funnies. Blair Witch had some awesome one liners and spread throughout Evil Things we get a few charactery tidbits. Leo caught in a bubble bath and Cassy doing a mom impersonation are quite funny. I only wish there were more of these characterologies. When you have Girl X ,Y and Z screaming all the time, complaining and arguing , it turns out just blah.

Now lets go over the sininster stuff. As the group heads out on vacation, they encounter some oddities on their way there. A mysterious red van impedes their route, then the same van makes an appearance at a gas station then a cameo at a diner they stop at. None of these make you jump out of your seat but they do add some eerie quality to whats soon to come.

As the vacation progresses, a quick hike to the woods turns out to plagiarize the Blair Witch Project to a tee. I was almost thinking we'd get a Heather POV "We're gonna die" monologue with snot coming out of her nose. But alas we get a few quirky noises and lots of arguing.

In the final act, normalcy gets interrupted as a mysterious knock on the door produces a grainy videotape. The group watches it Ring style and sees someone has been videotaping them (from the POV from that van) since they arrived in the country. Filmed while they sleep and while they were lost, it's very well done and we get the scary feeling we're headed to a home invasion movie waiting to happen.

The movie suddenly switches back and forth from Leo's footage to our mysterio footage. Even eerie music is backdropped in. Suffice it to say, we do get our "final shot" as indiciated by the rules of this genre not before we get another 2nd ending that sets up an inevitable sequel.

All in all, I have to say I liked Evil Things. Though it follows the formula you've seen before, it breaks it and makes it different. Whereas the camera would always videotape the supernatural (zombies, a monster, etc.) here we see a grounded in reality (or pseudo reality) footage of wacko hunters.

Evil Things is an entertaining indie horror film that goes back to the basics on what scares us. As Blair Witch taught us, we don't necessarily need to see the sinisterness, we just need to see just enough to get us paranoid. It's forgiveable that Perez used the hand held video cinema technique as he was constrained to the budget he had.

As much as I hate this hand held world we live in, Evil Things works. The whole mock FBI packaging and the fact what we're seeing something SENT to the FBI brings up some good unanswered questions. Perez creates an odd mythos about this snuff like evidence and I dug the fact he went all the way with it.

Here's hoping we get to find out more about these mysterious killer voyeurs and see them dash and scare another group of hapless hipsters.

Gore-ipedia/Nude-ipedia

Wow. None for both. You have to use your imagination!

WTF moment

The "final shot"
The 2nd ending

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

First some fun facts!

-Filmed this year (2009) in January up at the Catskills Mountains in NY
-Shot in 7 days

It's a good first effort from Dominic Perez. This is not the first movie to go all hand held POV but it's definitely one of the better ones. Though I have to say, one question that kept bugging me throughout is the fact that a movie like this could never be used as a commercial for Verizon or Sprint or T-Mobile or AT&T.

Do none of these cell phone carriers have coverage in any place rural???

I mean seriously folks. Nobody could get a signal?

It's just one final gripe on logic from an otherwise great film. Because the most evilest thing you can do to any New Yorker is take away their ability to use their iPhone or Crackberry.

Rating:

1/2

Check out the trailer.








Tags:
evil things, evil things trailer , american horror , evil things review, indie horror, hand held pov horror, cloverfield, horror movies 2009

Labels: cloverfield, evil things, evil things review, indepentent horror, indie horror, pov horror, rec, the blair witch project

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Pontypool

Pontypool (2009)

Directed by Bruce McDonald

When you're me, you think you've seen every kind of horror film ever made. Especially when it comes to zombie films. So when I went to go see Pontypool, I figured I'd be seeing another variation of The Signal or Pulse or 28 Days Later. You know, that old run of the mill story of zombies hordes attacking stereotypical survivors trapped in a confined space.

But I was shocked that Pontypool was a totally different type of pretzel I've never seen before.

It's an actually intelligent virus turning the masses into a bunch of crazies type movie that can be perceived in many ways. Is it a satire of censorship? A commentary on geopoliticalisms? Or is it just a suspense driven horror film to scare the crap out of you.

Well, it's all 3 and so much more.

Pontypool is definitely this years The Signal (which I ranked #3 on my Top 10 Horror Movies of 2008). Yes, Virginia you can make a movie about a virus gone awry and make it thought provoking and clever. We can thank the Canadians for making that. Hollywood hasn't done this in years. Even the great George A. Romero can't satire zombies in an intelligent way. Jeez.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Shock jock Grant Mazzy has, once again, been kicked-off the Big City airwaves and now the only job he can get is the early morning show at CLSY Radio in the small town of Pontypool which broadcasts from the basement of the small town's only church. What begins as another boring day of school bus cancellations, due to yet another massive snow storm, quickly turns deadly.

Bizarre reports start piling in of people developing strange speech patterns and evoking horrendous acts of violence. But there's nothing coming in on the news wires. So... is this really happening? Before long, Grant and the small staff at CLSY find themselves trapped in the radio station as they discover that this insane behavior taking over the town is being caused by a deadly virus being spread through the English language itself.

Do they stay on the air in the hopes of being rescued or, are they in fact providing the virus with its ultimate leap over the airwaves and into the world?

Awesome Review-O-Matic

You would think a movie that takes place in one area (a radio station) and that relies at length on the dialogue would be a dull movie. However, it's the constant setting of a church basement radio station that makes for a good case of clausterphobia run amok. And it's a kudos to the actors whose performances mesmerize you with their voices.

With the recent swine flu outbreak, it's fitting that we'd see a movie that is about how the media would react to a killer virus. Lets see what have we learned? First, panic everybody. Second, panic some more. Third, try to verify the information and gather patients or eyewitnesses to shed some light on the outbreak. Finally, offer advice that leads to more panic.

This is pretty much how Pontypool goes about covering a weird outbreak in the small Canadian town of Pontypool. Grant Mazzy (Stephen McHattie) is a semi Imus clone, outspoken brash and Chomsky-ish. He wants to talk the talk but is forced by his producer Sydney Briar (Lisa Houle) to be the more professional DJ. Mazzy is eager to get his listeners thinking but Sydney scolds him and forces at the scene reports from Ken Loney in the "Sunshine Chopper". Assisting Sydney is war veteran Laurel (Georgina Reilly) who could be a Anna Farris lookalike. She techs up and screens the calls for Mazzy's show.

The set up of another mundane day in the snowstormed town of Pontypool is interrupted by a breaking story of a huge riot at a doctor's clinic (who makes an appearance later on). Mazzy, eager to run with the story before its verified battles his producers before succumbing to having to interview and hear a song from a troupe of actors in Lawrence of Arabia.

Later, Mazzy interviews Ken Loney, the "on the field" reporter as he describes the chaos. It's done "War of the Worlds"-ish. I would have never imagined watching a movie that relies on a radio drama to get the story moving. We are suppose to be watching a MOTION PICTURE, but the 180 we get here on hearing rather than seeing makes it mesmerizing to watch. McHattie's voice and concern seem dirty realistic.

It's the same way you get when you hear NRP's "This American Life" where the sounds and your imagination create much more than any visual could. Some humor is also thrown in when Mazzy is interviewed by a BBC affiliate looking for answers on the chaos.

The virus then hits home, when poor Laurel gets infected causing her to go all mumbly. Locked in the sound booth, we then meet the ever fluent Dr. Mendez. Some light is shed on what may be causing people to go crazy. The doc and a hacked military signal tells our heroes and us that the English language is responsible for the insanity. Yes you read that right. The English language. Soon our heroes are forced to speak Rosetta Stone French to keep sane.

The last half of the movie has Mazzy and Sydney doing the old reliable run and hide amidst the invading now dictionaried and zombified masses pouring into the station. It's tenseful at times, possibly even 3% scary, though nothing a 13 yr old couldn't handle. As we head to the final 15, the thought bubbled lightbulb goes off for Mazzy but not before we get an apocalypse.

So how do you interpret a movie where a virus is spread thru language? Especially the English language.

Bruce McDonald, the director was on hand during the screening I attended and vaguely Area 51d an explanation of the multi-verse theories. It's open to many interpretations he said. I sensed for the most part that Pontypool was a crack at Americanism and how we spread our language, our values and our very annoying pop culture throughout the world.

Does one's culture get lost when they adapt another culture's language and values? Lots of interesting questions are posed. We often joke Canada is the 51st state. Could this actually happen in say 50 years?

Language is power and how we use it is subliminally virus and disease like and perfectly satirized in Pontypool. We can spread ideas through language that affect us all. Even McDonald quipped during the Q&A that Pontypool was picked up to be distributed in South Korea with the tagline "Fear English!".

Pontypool is intelligent, witty and thought provoking and reminds us perfectly how the horror genre can be used to satire the world we live in. It's punched a spot into my list of top 10 horror movies of 2009.

So take off that white mask and head outside. No time to be paranoid about H1N1....your next words could be your last.

WTF moment

Laurel going all word sick and crazy
"Sydney Briar is not dead" chant

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

First some fun facts about the movie.

-The movie is adapted from Tony Burgess book "Pontypool Changes Everything"
-It was shot in 15 days and in chronological order
-Stephen McHattie and Lisa Houle are married in real life
-McDonald also directed the Tracy Fragments which starred Canadian hottie Ellen Page

For more information head over to the IFC.

Oddly enough I can actually use the same final description I gave the Signal for Pontypool.

"... [It] is not entirely horror, but is sort of an artsy cinema engulfed in a horror apocalypse."

Now be quiet.

Rating:

Check out the trailer.








Tags:
pontypool, pontypool trailer , canadian horror , pontypool review, indie horror, the signal, zombies, horror movies 2009,

Labels: canada, canadian horror, indepentent horror, indie horror, pontypool, pontypool review, the signal

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

The Landlord

The Landlord (2009)

Directed by Emil Hyde

A few months I posted up a trailer for a little indie horror-comedy flick called the Landlord. I recently got a screener of the flick and after my hectic schedule I got around to watching it.

The thing about the horror comedies is that if you attempt to do one, you have to be ready to be compared to the ultimate horror comedy and that of course is Sam Raimi's Evil Dead trilogy. Especially the first one which broke all the rules for low budget but low budget done sooo ultimate freakin well.

I've seen my share of low budget black horror-omedies done extremely well (see Thicker than Water) and I've seen my share of "it's so bad it's MST3k worthy".

The Landlord to me just wasn't funny for what it was trying to do. I recognized the jokes, the strategically placed gags and all, but I had hoped to see a bunch of talking monsters in the vein of an episode of Buffy or Angel. You know acting natural about the supernatural. Vampires, demons, etc just being wickedly funny about being wicked. Sure there were attempts, but the attempts just missed.

What the Landlord felt like was watching those low budget flicks of the 80s (Troma-ish) in a way with rubber bloody leg gags and cheesy special effects. The 100 minutes is filled with many many attempts to be funny about a world full of demons and monsters...but I just couldn't get the joke.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

The Landlord is the story of Tyler, the unfortunate young owner of a demon-haunted apartment building. Finding tenants has never been a problem for Tyler, though he does have trouble keeping them alive to pay rent. No matter how nicely Tyler asks the demons not to eat the renters (or to at least wait a month or two), they never listen. And why should they? As far as the demons are concerned, humans are merely dumb, tasty animals - kinda like chickens - and Tyler is their pet monkey.

But all that might change when Tyler takes a liking to the newest tenant, a desperate young woman running from demons of her own…

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Tyler is the landlord in The Landlord. He's like an Apatow clone, chubby but lovable. He has been feeding two demons (one that looks like Lorne from Angel) and another woman demon with a face of a dog?!?

Tenants who rent the apartment and are quickly eaten by the 2 resident demons. Besides these demons, we meet Tyler's sister Amy, who is a cop...a crooked cop who with her brother has made a deal with the demons. Tyler and Amy feed em and they clean up the mess. In return, well you'll see why they do what they do at thee end. Amy and her cop partner also have a deal with the underground vampirey demons. They get to eat the wasteoids and degenerates and they turn a blind eye and score some loot.

As much as we accompany Tyler on his little journey, I'd have rather just watched his sister be the star of the movie. She is a cheating whore who steals, kills and get this....is a loving mom. Wow, what a character. In no way is Amy anybody you would remotely want to root for, which is why you'd want to see what she would do next.

Instead we follow Tyler who then rents the apt to Donna, a southern belle whose on the run. They share a few karoake laughs and soon she discovers the real "tenants" of the building. But the humans in this film are instilled to be the "straight guy". It's the monsters who should be carrying the laughs. And unfortunately they come across as retarded.

The Lorne looking monster is goofy and does a majority of the kills. A yuppie couple, a couple of annoying cops and a jealous boyfriend. Their ultimate demises is summed up in Halloween body part gags.

There a few gags that gag away. An infomercial was quite cute as is a few throwaway one liners.

I could see what Hyde was attempting to do in so far as making the laughs Munsters like and giving you a few ha ha's of Satanic rituals gone awry. The movie is definitely low budget, but shot in nice HD. The special effects have that LSD effect to em and indeed a drinking game was invented for the flick to capitalize on monster teeth and gratuitous demon vanishes.

I think my biggest gripe was that I just didn't care for Tyler, the lovable lump who has the unfortunate job of being the monster janitor rather than the landlord.

As I said before, I'd have rather have seen the sister being evil (and by the end seems more than likely) and how she juggled being a corrupt cop, a cheating MILF, a mommy and her dealings with the monster underground.

But then if that was the movie....it wouldn't be called the Landlord.


Gore-ipedia

Bat splurge
Neck trauma
Intenstine surgery

Nude-ipedia

Zippo

WTF moment

The sister going nuts

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

I think the Landlord would have worked better as a sketch comedy rather than a feature. It's has all the elements of something to see on stage than in a movie theatre. I applaud Hyde's efforts to go full force on a undertaking of making a horror comedy. It's not easy. Some would say they'd go to hell than attempt it. Kudos to Hyde to avoiding hell and making the attempt.

Thanks to Mr. Hyde on sending me a screener of the movie.

For more information, check out the official site.

Rating:

1/2

The Trailer

Labels: horror comedy, indepentent horror, indie horror, the landlord, the landlord review, the landlord trailer

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Thicker Than Water: The Vampire Diaries Part 1

Thicker Than Water: The Vampire Diaries Part 1 (2008)

Directed by Phil Messerer

Fuck zombies.

With all the Twilight hoopla and Let the Right One In, I predict a big renaissance in the vampire genre. But you won't see this in Hollywood in a big BOOM overnight.

Where you will see it is the college radio station world of independent horror.

Mark my words. When Hollywood starts surfing the horror interweb and sees praise for a movie like Thicker Than Water from the indie horror blogs, they are going to think they've hit the fuckin pot of gold.

Because this movie is a damn good movie to sink your teeth into (sorry for the bad pun).

Thicker Than Water: The Vampire Diaries Part 1 is a black horror-omedy that puts the function in dysfunctional. It's a credit to Phil Messerer who was sort of of a jack of all trades (who wrote, edited and directed) this indie masterpiece.

It's a radical little horror Lifetime movie of the week that could be part HBO TV show (look out True Blood!) and part music video. All I can say is it's a damn good movie.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Thicker Than Water is the first part in the Vampire Diaries Trilogy. It tells the story of the Baxters, an ordinary suburban family whose world is turned upside down when their youngest becomes a vampire. Lara, a precocious teenage Goth, hates her wholesome sister, Helen. She envies her popularity, her looks and most of all, her mother's pride and affection.

One day, after their 16th Birthday party, during which she is particularly humiliated by her sister's friends, Lara performs an intricate ritual in front of her Anne Rice alter involving a Margie doll and calf's heart. The next morning Helen awakens with a severe nosebleed. Then she dies in her sister's horrified arms. The family is desperately grief stricken. Lara is filled with guilt, Mom with philosophical anguish and Raymond, the gay neuro-scientist brother, with curiosity, as he discovers a strange virus in Helen's blood: one that feeds on red blood cells.

Suddenly there is a knock on the door. Helen, still wearing her white body bag, is standing outside, covered in blood. It is clear that all is not well with their resurrected family member. For one thing, she requires human blood as sustenance. The family realize they must find 'sacrifices' to keep her alive. But the vegetarian cheerleader refuses to feed. She suffers gut-wrenching blood withdrawals until she blacks out and rips her victims to shreds. The first 'sacrifices' are a pair of Mormon missionaries doing the local rounds. After that it is pretty much up to Raymond, who cruises the local gay bars in search of prey.

With their world crumbling around them, the Baxters find themselves lulled into atrocity, the daily carnage destroying their sense of morality while bringing them closer together as a family. And how did Helen become a vampire? What exactly are vampires? Forget everything you think you know and get ready for a completely original retelling of the most ancient of myths.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

For a movie that runs a little less than 90 minutes, Thicker than Water packs a lot into this little juicebox. The Cooperstown small town feel (it's Sugar Loaf, NY) , the believable yet quirky characters, the vampire mythos and the blood, splatter and gore are perfectly blended into a milkshake of horror goodness.

I originally expcted to see a possibly MST3K worthy, shot on video amateur, local theatre group kids making a YouTubey horror film. But TTW is none of that. Yes, there is a low budget, grindhousey feel of the movie. However, that's soon forgotten when you see how this movie is shot, tightly edited and performances by the cast that are not amateurish at all.

Throw your expectations out the window, this is one fun hell of a ride.

Welcome to the Baxter household. Let's meet the family.

We've got Lara (Eilis Cahill), our narrator and total outcast, goth Anne Ricey vixen. She's the vampire lore expert. On the total opposite end of the family spectrum is Helen (Devon Bailey), the cheerleader-ish, blonde, beautiful, popular girly girl. We also meet their brother Raymond (Michael Strelow), a gay scientist and part time mad doctor. Also, we meet Dad who goes divorce AWOL early on which leaves us finally with Mom (Jo Jo Hristova), the former Bulgarian ice skater religious momma.

It's your typical family not normal family but whose family is. These are not the Beavers or the Bradys. More so the Munsters on LSD.

After Lara goes all Voodoo weirdo (a great The Craft-y homage) Helen wakes up with a vicious nosebleed. Soon she's gone to the great beyond. Raymond soon discovers Helen's blood is gone all virusey (nope not Swine Flu) and tells the family. But a knock from the door sees Helen back, body bag covered and all and drenched in blood.

Let the hilarity ensue.

From here the movie gets into Heathers like territory. The family starts to feed Helen with a variety of victim fodder. Two Mormons, Raymond's gay one night stands and others become food for our hungry, bood thirsty Helen.

A lot of the "kills" are done montagey in that Rob Zombie music video sort of way. I must admit, it seemed kinda tacky but I didn't mind.

The performances by Cahill and Bailey are right on point. Cahill has that Winona Ryder Burtonized look to her and black humor logues her performance like Ryder's Veronica character in Heathers. Bailey, the unlikely vampire puts a nice, sweet virtuous spin on her character going all puppy dog eyes as she stares at a soon to be yummy victim. These were both top notch performances that could even make True Blood look cheesy.

Later, we get the Interview with a Vampire cameo when the mysterious Patrice Duchamp III (who looks like a 1800s throwback puffy shirt and all) to recruit our newborn vampire Helen.

This all leads to a Christmas dinner, a twisty twizzler and an ending that lives up to the dysfunction of this entire family.

Interspliced within the flick are explanations of the 1st vampire and the mythology of pure bloods, etc. This is probably a set up in the eventual sequels of this proposed trilogy. Even in these Wikipedia scenes I was still intrigued and interested by how this vampire lore will play out.

With all the heaping amounts of praise, there were a few gripes that seeped in. The look is definitely low budget and some angles were a bit too cinematically overused. Aside from Cahill and Bailey, the other actors were a bit cardboardy though mediocre at best. Even the gore and splatter had moments of FAIL. Though that can be forgiven as it's not like they went to the Tom Savini school or splatter.

But the biggest screeching tire is the slow pace of the first 30 minutes and some drag in between. Though, in some low budget movies, the filmmaker stretches what should be a 8-10 minute scene into a punch me in the face 15-17 minutes. Thank Lestat, Messerer didn't do that too much.

All in all, The Vampire Diaries is a complete and awesome debut from Messerer. If he can learn from his mistakes (which are few) Part 2 of the Vampire Diaries will be spectacutastic. I can't begin to applaud filmmakers who go after their dream and make a movie. This is why we should support the indie scene, horror or non horror alike.

It's rare when a movie like Thicker Than Water: The Vampire Diaries surprises even a jaded viewer like myself. And when you do, that's saying a lot.

Gore-ipedia

Blood drenching
Neck trauma
Face removal

Nude-ipedia

Nada

WTF moment

The ending

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

The movie is on the film festival circuit and is kickin ass and winning awards. According to the official website it took 3 years to make.

If somehow you can see this movie, do so.

I first heard about this movie from The Bone Breaker and after watching the trailer I was psyched.

Thanks to the director Phil Messerer for sending me a screener of the film.

I guarantee I've totally Nostradamused this vampire boom. Trust me.

Rating:
Trailer:













Tags:
Thicker Than Water: The Vampire Diaries Part 1, thicker than water , the vampire diaries , Thicker Than Water The Vampire Diaries review, vampire horror, vampires, indie horror, gratuitous nudity, top horror movie 2008, splatter, let the right one in, horror blog

Labels: indepentent horror, indie horror, Thicker Than Water: The Vampire Diaries Part 1, Thicker Than Water: The Vampire Diaries Part 1 review, vampire diaries, vampire diaries trilogy, vampires

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Keeping up with the NYC independent horror movie circuit, the name Larry Fessenden comes to mind. Fessenden and Glass Eye Pix is responsible for bringing the best independent cinema to the independent minded masses.

I stumbled upon a name familiar to me while I was doing Burrowers research. The name?

Graham Reznick.

My friend had shown me a short he did a while back which I thought was good. My friend did some of the music and sound effects on that one as well as this new project. So I was surprised that he had made an indie film that had just premiered here in NYC last week.

I Can See You seems to be getting some rave reviews and I may be headed to check this little flick out.

The tagline: A psychedelic campfire trailer is utterly unique and the plot is well, buzzy vague.

Three young ad-men enter the woods for a photo shoot, but a girlfriend's mysterious disappearance sparks a harrowing descent into unreality.

One can only know if this may or may not be horror but some mind altering non linear madness. You can decide for yourself.

Check out the trailer below.





For more information, check out the official site.

Labels: i can see you, i can see you trailer, indepentent horror, larry fesseden, lsd, nyc horror, nyc movie, psychedlic

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

Cheerbleeders

Cheerbleeders (2008)

Directed by Peter Podgursky

I'm a big proponent of up and coming directors to tackle horror as a stepping stone to get their career moving. All the greats have done it. Raimi, Jackson, Craven.

We've all seen their first films and raved about how Evil Dead and Braindead and Nightmare are classic iconic horror. So when Peter Podgursky sent me his 11 minute short entitled Cheerbleeders, I knew I'd find it interesting to see what this generation's filmmakers are inventing for their first endeavor.

Cheerbleeders is Podgursky's USC thesis film and it's quite solid from start to finish. It's like the Breakfast Club mixed in with evil Greek mythos that turn cheerleaders into crazed psycho vixens.

We've all seen jocks and cheerleaders get their comuppance or learn their lesson when they mess with of the goths, geeks and rejects of high school. Cheerbleeders is the penultimate big cheer for the Benders of the world who always wanted to take the heads off of those big, dumb jocks. And for once, they get to do it literally.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Penny and Devon, a pair of high school outcasts, are best friends in their isolation in the small town of Blackfoot, Idaho. However, things take a nasty turn for the worst when penny inadvertently turns Devon into an unspeakable evil, the most popular boy in school.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Podgursky has to cram a lot of plot into his little short. I'm sure Raimi thought the same thing when he made Evil Dead. And yes, this little short has alot of Raimi-ish qualities to it. So the inevitable comparisons has to be said.

But it's all modern day suburbia, in Blackfoot Idaho where we meet Penny and Devon, the gothiest goth kids in this American Beauty-ish high school. Almost bordering on a parody of those trippy Bring It On movies, Penny brings her grandfather's urn with Greek mythos powers for show and tell. However, when Devon gets cursed by the ancient spirits of evil, he gets the power to control the minds of all the beautiful cheerleaders at Blackfoot high.

A nice, tightly 80s homagy montage is perfectly placed as Penny and Devon have a hoot at the now subservient cheerleaders expense. But soon Devon goes all Dirk Diggler and gets power hungry to be the awesomest guy at school.

It's every man's dream fantasy (and probably 70% of all porn movie plots) to do anything you want with a cheerleader. And yes, Devon goes all give me "S" and a"E" and a "X" with all the Hayden Panatierre lookalikes.

Soon his master plan changes from cheer cheer orgies to taking down the football team. In the short's climax, a football game is turned into a bloodbath when Devon orders the now turned cheerbleeders to go splatter the football team.
Nice gore and splatter is intertwined with some ha ha moments which make this horror comedy short work.

It's up to Penny to save the day which of course is leads to Devon's ultimate demise.

Her final words say it all: "I'm the least popular girl in school!"

It's a good start for Podgursky. He's taken a few techniques and style shots from all the iconic horror directors and added a few of his own. Hopefully, he can come up with something new that we can someday call Podgursky-ish.

Gore-ipedia

Head gets ripped apart
Axe to the chest

Nude-ipedia

Bra and panties

WTF moment

Cheerbleeders go savage

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

Cheerbleeders takes place somewhere more horrifying than abandoned cabin or a last house on the left.... it's high school. Your trapped for 4 years and everybody is like mindless zombies.

Because when you think about it, what's the difference between psycho cheerleaders and real cheerleaders....not much.

In any case, kudos to Podgursky and his crew for making something inventive and LOL for the Gen Y crowd. The thing is even though you may think your work is original, somebody out there may have beaten you to it (check out Jack Brooks or Dance of the Dead).

I'll be looking forward to seeing what Podgursky comes up next. He could be the next Adam Green.

If this is what the American filmmakers of tomorrow are up to, we are going to be A ok.

Rating:
Check out the trailer below and also the official site.

The Trailer










Tags:
cheerbleeders, cheerbleeders trailer , cheerbleeders review , horror short,

Labels: cheerbleeders, cheerbleeders review, horror short, indepentent horror, indie horror, sam raimi

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post