the jaded viewer

Don't worry, my Top 10 Horror Movies of 2009 is coming next month (early January). But I wanted to make a list of some of the best non-horror movies I saw this year. I've broken out into the "Box Office Elephants" (your standard summer blockbusters) and the "You heard of these and you still didn't go see it" (straight to DVD, independents, DVDs picked up by US distributors, etc.)

Some of these movies were awesome, some were awesome if you went in with low expectations (ahem G.I. Joe, Terminator) and some were sleeper hits that totally shocked me with how mega-rific they were.

Let's look back on 2009 and see how Hollywood's summer elephants took on the mice of the independent scene.

"Box Office Elephants"

The LOLs

1.) The Hangover

the jaded viewer says: The best comedy of 2009. Nuff said.

2.) Bruno

the jaded viewer says: Not has good as Borat but the shock moments live up to the hype. Bruno brought about Middle East peace...in latex.

3.) Capitalism: A Love Story

the jaded viewer says: Love em or hate em, Michael Moore can turn our economic depression into ironic ha ha's.

The OMGs

1.) District 9

the jaded viewer says: Easily one of the best movies of 2009. The satire is pretty obvious but Blomkamp blends in alien buggers seemlessly into our world and they have personality!

2.) Star Trek

the jaded viewer says: Even if you aren't a Trekkie, you now know who James Tiberius Kirk is. But Spock easily steals the show by being more emotional than a WWE wrestler.

3.) Inglorious Basterds

the jaded viewer says: This jumped to #3 on my Best Quentin Tarantino movies (ahead of Reservoir Dogs!). Fear The Bear!

4.) Watchmen

the jaded viewer says: You really needed to read the graphic novel to get the subtleties of what Watchmen was all about. But Zach Snyder really did make a great movie out of the holy grail of graphic novels Alan Moore/Dave Gibbons Watchmen.

5.) Terminator: Salvation

the jaded viewer says: A lot of people really thought this was awful. Well, I didn't think so. I thought it captured the essence of the Future War that was always talked about. John Connor's scar origin, Arnold's cameo and Kyle Reese and Marcus are brought to life. McG did a solid job here.

"You heard of these and you still didn't go see it"

The LOLs with punches in the face

1.) Black Dynamite

the jaded viewer says: I gave this movie 4 spinkicks! What more needs to be said? Blaxploitation ha ha's at its freakin finest. Here's an actual line spoken by Black Dynamite:

"Your knowledge of scientific biological transmogrification is only matched by your zest of kung-fu treachery"

2.) Big Man Japan

the jaded viewer says: It's hard to describe this "superhero" movie from Japan but take a bit of Ultraman and mix in Godzilla and you have Big Man Japan. You gotta take my word on this. You will laugh yourself into a coma when you see this.

3.) Crank 2: High Voltage

the jaded viewer says: Not an indie by any stretch, you may have missed Jason Statham's return as Chev Chelios (and his faulty artificial heart). Chev, Amy Smart and a horesetrack. If you've seen it, you know what I mean.

4.) Ong Bak 2

the jaded viewer says: Tony Jaa makes it look so easy. Not as good as the original, the stunts and action sequences here are still vintage Jaa and you won't get bored when knees, elbows and spinkicks are clobbering henchmen.

Spectacular DIY Independents

1.) Ink

the jaded viewer says: The best independent movie to come out this year. It's visually eye candy, a lovely story and filled with characters and dreams you wish you could dream about.

2.) No Right Turn

the jaded viewer says: Grime and crime noir at its best. David Noele Burke's films echoes Tarantino but turns in a crime fairy tale. Good times.

3.) The Local

the jaded viewer says: It's like a Bukowski poem come to life. Crime drama with some kick, Dan Eberle's NYC indie is filled with lowlife characters and an anti-hero with a heart.

You've all seen the elephants, I think you should try to feed the mice. Many of these films are available on Netflix, Amazon and other big box stores. If you need to go to the official site to purchase, seriously buy yourself a present this Christmas and get em. You won't be disappointed.

Did I miss one's on your list? Got any recommendations for me? Go and leave a comment and let me know. Like I said, my Top 10 Horror Movies of 2009 is coming soon (once I see the flicks I missed this year).

Bring on 2010!

Labels: Best Movies of 2009, big man japan, black dynamite, crank 2, district 9, inglourious basterds review, ink, ong bak 2

Posted by the jaded viewer at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

I'm a big Quentin Tarantino fan. I just appreciate the fact that his movies are combinations of different grindhouse subgenres (crime thriller, kung fu mania, spaghetti western, war machine, etc.) The argument for the anti Tarantino fans is that he "steals" from other movies. To this I say, all films steal from other sources be it other movies or novels or TV or whatever.

So Inglourious Basterds is a mix of spaghetti western and that 70s-80s war machine shootapalooza (the soundtrack had that old 70s war music feel). And it works even as a "what if" alternate timeline flick. Movies are suppose to take you to a place which warps the real world. Where the impossible becomes possible. And I love those "What if the South won the civil war?" premises that sci fi authors like Harry Turtledove have created. Or what if we Germany did take over the world. And QT says what would happen if we had some Jewish soldiers slaughter dem Nazi bastards and try to take down Hitler.

What we get is just pure, relentless awesomeness. So much pure war brutality and harmonic dialogue that you've come to expect from Tarantino.

So let's get to the WTF list shall we? (spoilers obviously)

1.) The fact the switch from French to English is commented on
2.) Jew Bear
3.) The guy who played Hitler is hilarious
4.) QT's dialogue machine is very much butchered in the fact that most of it is done in French or German and it just doesn't feel the same
5.) STIGLITZ!!! (the Vincent character of IB)
6.) It's Ryan from the Office
7.) Was that Austin Powers undercover?
8.) So Eddie Murphy was potentially gonna play the black guy? (see IMDB trivia)
9.) I-talians
10.) People you thought would live, didn't. You're never safe in a QT flick
11.) Poor Wilhelm (he screamed)
12.) A Mexican standoff never gets old
13.) The scalping is so gore-ific
14.) The branding is painfully knife-tastic
15.) Hans Landa is probably one of the best villains....ever
16.) Pipe vs Pipe
17.) "You don't got to be Stonewall Jackson to know you don't want to fight in a basement."
18.) The bumrush to kill Hitler by Donowitz and Ulmer
19.) The slaughter in the theater
20.) Hitler's bullet ridden body bulleted again and again and again

21.) My random rant. Having seen this flick with mostly jabronis and a few geeks, you knew that the obvious fact that QT had to visually point out the Nazi authority baddies is brilliant. Goebbels, Goering... Not many know of the famous SS Nazis and 2nd in command other than Hitler.

I've seen all of Tarantino's movies and if I had to put a quick ranking it would go like this.

1.) Pulp Fiction
2.) Kill Bill Vol 1 and 2
3.) Inglourious Basterds
4.) Reservoir Dogs
5.) Jackie Brown
6.) Death Proof

Inglourious Basterds is a great flick, thru and thru written for the intellectuals, the fan boys and the masses. I mean it's rather talky, but the dialogue always builds up to a payoff and boy the payoffs just scream yay. I'm going to have to watch this again.

Labels: 2009 exploitation movies, 2009 grindhouse movies, inglourious basterds review, Kill Bill, pulp, quentin tarantino, the wtf list

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post