a jaded viewer reviews the world of horror, splatter, gore, cult, grindhouse, trash, b-movie, erotica, indie, asian and exploitation films
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
Raging Phoenix (Trailer)
Holy fuckin cow. I just wet myself. After the "ehh oh wow" that was Ong Bak 2, Tony Jaa is sooo yesterday. Just let me watch JeeJa Yanin kick ass again makes the jaded viewer a happy boy.
So what will we get to see in her new movie following her debut after Chocolate?
An romantic action-omedy!
Mega intense training montage!!
You Got Served meets Ong Bak!!!
Chinese Drunken Fist vs Drunken Muay Thai!!!!
Choreographed Doubles tag team fight movies!!!!!
Starring.....
The mega hot Jeeja Yanin Kazoo, TRICKZ martial arts champion from France!? Roontawan, The Asia Pacific Woman Bodybuilding Champion?!? Thai B-Boys!?!?
What more do you want? (Oh, duh. Of course the trailer which you can see below)
Plot seems to revolve around a gang kidnapping rich girls in Thailand so they can harvest their organs or some other. But plots in muay thai action is like dialogue in porn, it's totally irrelevant.
Let's get this out of the way first. This is a pseudo sequel to the smash and bash that is Ong Bak. Got that?
Let's also get this out of the way too.
Thailand is still the king of action cinema for now. Stunt-a-palooza, muy thai kneeing and elbowing and just rampant 1-2-3 punches. Sick shit all around.
I'm not a big fan of period piece action cinema. Whenever some Chinese or Japanese movie is set in the past, I get bored. I like my action in the present day, where stunts are performed in an urban setting, parkour becomes commonplace and a final scene can play out on the side of a fuckin building.
So you can see my dilemma after having watched Ong Bak 2?
The simple review is this. The historical ploppity plot is a yawn but the stunts and the actionography is fuckin fantastic and the stunts as always are awesome the magnificent.
You still want a review.....arghhh ok. Boring Plot-O-Matic
Set in the regal times of King Naresuan, Tien (Tony Jaa) is a man who was born into nobility but had it stripped from him after his parents were brutally murdered. During his childhood Tien learned Khon, a form of dance which is usually reserved for royalty. Although he didn't know it yet, Khon would later prove to be an invaluable aide to him. After seeing his parents murdered at the tender age of 10, Tien is forced to live on the streets where he is eventually captured by a group of thieves who take him in and teach him how to steal and fight.
Tien's expertise as a thief and fighter grows and it isn't long before he is made head thief. Then Tien sees something that makes his stomach churn. A competition is being held to find the best knights to serve under the very man who had killed Tien's parents all those years ago. Tien passes the tests easily and is made Lord Rachasana's 2nd Knight. Now, he has his opportunity to strike but he will have to use all his skill and ingenuity if he is going to get his revenge on the man who killed his parents.
Awesome Review-O-Matic
Read the plot above because I'm not going to talk about it anymore. Let's get to the action scenes shall we?
1.) Random medieval army vs army carnage
Slyly put into the sword on sword and bow and arrow battles is CGI blood. You know the one...that fake "300" CGI blood. I do not like this and there was way too much of it during the fight scenes.
However, good crazy choreographed action-rama when 2 battle armies go mano y mano is never a bore.
2.) The Elephant Scene
Tony Jaa has always tried to top his stunts and in this one he balances off a pack of wild rampaging elephants than does a sick backwards flip off its trunk. Totally sick...very nice.
3.) The training montage plus SAT Pirate tests scene
Jaa has to pass 3 tests to become the man of the pirates gang.
a.) Beat some schmuck with a sword b.) Beat some schmuck with his muy thai c.) Beat some schmuck with everything he's got in his arsenal
Suffice it to say he does.
4.) Tien's Uber Revenge Scene
Jaa's is in full revenge mode using Pacquiao like speed and lightning quick martially arts to dispense of the people who fucked up his village. Tons of different weapons are used, crazy numchucks, swords, that rope with the rock at the end of it (what's that called?) and plain old bare fists and legs.
The scene blows by so quickly if you blink you may have missed something unfuckinbelievable.
5.) The Ending is 20 -30 minutes of action porn
Seriously...its like he exploded and went completely nuts. Jaa has all the cylinders working. Guys are coming at him left and right and he's disposing of them like he's blowing his nose. It's Jaa vs an army of 300. Slice and dice, punch and crunch. Jaa is kicking ass so fast its a ballet of brutality. A battle on top of an elephant made my mouth stay open for a good 10 seconds.
It's great choreographed insanity and it's pretty fun to watch.
The ending leaves a soon to be sequel ready to be filmed. All in all, a good solid flick. Though it didn't have the magic of the first Ong Bak. The original had humor, a very funny motivational plot device and muy thai-ing that went off the radar.
Ong Bak 2 had none of that. But that's ok. It's like getting psyched up for your favorite dish and it not living up to your expectations. But it's still satisfying.
Gore-ipedia/Nude-ipedia
Nada. More like one big sausage factory but with flying spinkicks.
WTF moment That crazy elephant back flick
The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis
Ong Bak 3 was greenlit and its suppose to start filming at the end of this year. Hollywood has been itching to get Tony Jaa to Hollywood. Please don't stick him in a buddy cop movie...fuckin Hollycrap.
Ong Bak 2 is your fix for all that is the uber martial arts action genre has to offer. If you can keep awake during the pointless plot pushing the action scenes do not disappoint.
Somehow they need to tie this flick and part 3 to the original. Maybe that head in the first movie is Tien's head.
Yeah that make sense. Hmm maybe not. Oh fuck it. Just knee kick somebody in the head please.
The fun about searching for trailers on YouTube is that you can search for one thing, which leads you to another which then leads you to another.
Then before you know it, you see a bunch of kids OngBaking the shit out some baddy bad men.
So I may be a millisecond late on this little trailer but fuck it....it's totally rad-irific. From the producer of Ong Bak and Chocolate, come little teenage Ong Baks kicking ass. If they keep going all Benjamin Button with these movies, we're gonna see a fuckin fetus Muay Thai-ing in the womb.
Great stunts, choreography and uber action. Wow. I'm excited about Power Kids. It begs the question is this just all normal shit in Thailand. While American tweens are lip syncing Hannah Montana, Thai tweens are kneeing and elbowing people through windows.
Check out the trailer below. Also, the official site for more info-rama.
Also here is another promo for the film with some live action stunt-o-rama.
If the trailer is any indication of the martial arts chaos that will ensue in this movie, I am fuckin psyched. Lots of choreographed stunts and fight scenes that may have you going Ong what?
The new style is called Silat. Yeah I know, I haven't even heard of this martial arts form myself. But it looks mega fuckin instense.
Here be the plot....
In Minangkabau, West Sumatera, Yuda a skilled practitioner of Silat Harimau is in the final preparations to begin his "Merantau" a century's old rites-of-passage to be carried out by the community's young men that will see him leave the comforts of his idyllic farming village and make a name for himself in the bustling city of Jakarta. After a series of setbacks leave Yuda homeless and uncertain about his new future, a chance encounter results in him defending the orphaned Astri from becoming the latest victim of a European human trafficking ring led by the wildly psychotic, Ratger and his right-hand man Lars. With Ratger injured in the mêlée and seeking both his "merchandise" and bloody retribution, Yuda's introduction to this bustling city is a baptism of fire as he is forced to go on the run with Astri and her younger brother Adit as all the pimps and gangsters that inhabit the night hound the streets chasing their every step. With escape seemingly beyond their grasp, Yuda has no choice but to face his attackers in an adrenaline charged, jaw-dropping finale.
Holy fuckin cow. I just wet myself. After the "ehh oh wow" that was Ong Bak 2, Tony Jaa is sooo yesterday. Just let me watch JeeJa Yanin kick ass again makes the jaded viewer a happy boy.
