the jaded viewer

The Hills Run Red

The Hills Run Red (2009)

Directed by Dave Parker

The Hills Run Red got the hype treatment within the horror universe this year. It's premise, it's sleek grindy slasher and Sophia Monk wearing nothing should be enough to equal yayness and approval from us fans. For me, it equals more of a mix bag of donuts. Sure you get your oozing jelly filled, and your chocolate yuminess. But you also get your over done elaborate, sprinkled Boston cremes and some other exotic new flavors that catch your eye. Yeah, it looks pretty but it doesn't taste that good.

Well that's The Hills Run Red. It looks good from the outside but when you dig in, it's not as delicious as you thought it would be.

I think I've got you hungry right? Lets dig in shall we?

Boring Plot-O-Matic

A group of young horror fans go searching for a film that mysteriously vanished years ago but instead find that the demented killer from the movie is real, and he's thrilled to meet fans who will die gruesomely for his art.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

At points within the movie, I got really conflicted. I was teetering that this would be 3 spinkicks, then it dropped to 1 spinkick, then to 2 spins, then 2 and a half. I've haven't been this confused trying to rate a film in a while. I usually know exactly the rating I'm going to give during the film and by the end, it's sold. So its surprising to what I settled on for this one. But as you can see below, my string of thoughts sorta went in different directions.

Here's are my thought bubbles during the movie.

• Sophia Monk is hot
• OMG! Sophia Monk is naked...making her mega hotter
• The other female star in the movie is naked too!
• This trailer of the movie within this movie looks awesome!
• Tyler, our main character is kinda a lame, horror-core fan
• Well, Sophia Monk is naked again
• Tyler's friends are also big douches..I hope they die
• Oh oh, this is turning out to be a filmmakers go to the woods and get attacked by cannibal rednecks, then attacked by a real slasher
• Babyface, our slasher has got some top notch kill skills
• Holy shit! A women got torn in two by a tree contraption
• Hmmm. I think the fake grindhouse movie in this movie is probably better than the actual movie itself (make sense?)
• It's a gratuitous chase scene!
• WTF! Is this Saw?
• Sophia Monk is naked again...and I never get tired of looking at her.
  
• Oh man I predicted that twist 30 minutes ago
• Wow, this is lots of pretentious dialogue about movie making
• Yup, another twist...saw that one coming 15 minutes ago
• Ewwww. Babyface looks yucky
• Yeah! A scene during the credits...this will be awes....errr....well thats just dumb
  

If you've seen the movie, you'll understand exactly what I'm talking about. For peeps who haven't seen it, lets get into a review.

Tyler and his filmmaking cohorts decide to make a documentary of The Hills Run Red, a slasher film that has reached urban legend status. Seems the only remnants of the film left are a trailer, a few posters and Alexa, daughter of the director Wilson Wyler Concannon (William Sadler).

After Tyler meets Alexa (the always naked Sophia Monk), a stripper who guides the group to the locations of the movie. Joined by his GF Serena and best friend Lalo, they go off to the woods and go Blair Witching. The movie is interspliced with scenes from the unfinished grindhouse movie. The movie is about Babyface, a bumpkin schmunkin who tore up his face to something about his mom. I forget exactly how it went.

The characters are actually a little irritating to say the least with Alexa being the most interesting. Tyler is your Heather-type (from BWP) so dedicated to making his documentary, he turns down sexual relations from Alexa and his girlfriend (What the freakin fuck? I think he's gay..seriously dude?). Serena, his GF is dedicated and even at one point during the movie she seemed to go into a She-Ra, Princess of Power transformation changing into a standard Final Girl tanktop. Lalo is just victim fodder.

But it's Alexa, who creates the most memorable character in The Hills Run Red. A stripper, a drug addict and a vixen to the slickest proportions. Sophia Monk plays her character, right up to the end of the movie in a top notch, juicy sexpot sorta way. Brains and breasts as I always say.

Oddly enough, the film also becomes Skynet self aware. The characters go over rules of how to survive a "we're lost in the woods attacked by locals" horror movie and many of the film within a film references are slightly clever and a wink to the audience. There is something about finding a long lost film and the repercussions of it. Many scenes are set up where you think good guys defeat bad guys. But then you get a 360 into something else. I can't say its cool, more a little confusing.

But this new age of millennium slashers inducts Babyface into its fraternity. He's a formidable mountain man slasher who can use a variety of weapons to kill kill kill. Like Chromeskull in Laid to Rest, he's got a style and backstory that's unique. His daddy and mommy would be proud.

Parker and crew have a made a decent slasher movie that flips things upside down, fulfills your gratuitous nudity meter, got a somewhat interesting plot and has kills that will make gorehounds rejoice. It's also got some uneven twizzler twists, hipsters playing horror intellectuals and some self referencing dumbness.

So what do you got after you watch The Hills Run Red? 2 spinkicks. It's a fitting rating for a decent film that is like a bite of jelly and a bite of glazed. It may not live up to the hype its gotten but I can say I wasn't bored. American runs on blood and donuts.

Nude-ipedia

C'mon now. How many times do I gotta say Sophia Monk is 100% naked in this?
Gratuitous secondary character sex scene boobage

Gore-ipedia

Face trauma
Ax to the head
Decaps
Stomach trauma
Sliced and dice tummies
Mummified corpses
Gunshot trauma
Gut wrenching gore
Women torn in half
Various mutilation kills
Various stabbing weapon kills
Lots of head bashing

WTF moment

The twist after the twist

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

The Hills Run Red is available now on DVD via Amazon.com. I think many of the horror sites agree with my review that the movie is a mixed bag. Though some reviews have a love or hate it sorta opinion. I tried to not go into much of the plot of the movie because giving a way too much would affect your viewing.

But your reading this review because you want to know if Sophia Monk is naked in it right? So rest assured the answer is yes.

Rating:

Check out the trailer.

Labels: 2009 grindhouse movies, 2009 horror dvd, gore, gratuitous nudity, slasher films, sophie monk naked, splatter, the hills run red, the hills run red trailer

Posted by the jaded viewer at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

You clicked on this link because of that picture didn't you? Hahahaha. Well, I can't blame you. If you haven't guessed, that's Sophia Monk topless from the movie The Hills Run Red (review tomorrow). And there's more in the movie of Ms. Monk naked in the film. In the flick, she plays a stripper who helps a group of filmmakers look for a long lost movie. But thats irrelevant. Suffice it to say, she seems to "pop up" naked in the most unlikely of scenes.

But let's get to the thighs and breasts of this post. I posed the question, how gratuitous is gratuitous nudity?

Well horror and nudity go hand in hand don't they? If you go into your video store (remember those?) you'll notice that the scifi movies are next to the horror movies. And what's next to the horror movies? Yup, you got it. Porn. It's interesting to note that this set up is intentional as most horror fans do expect to see nudity in their movies. So a walk down the aisle would make it easier to get your fix on all 3 genres?

As much as we like to believe horror has defied the stereotype as in in the same vain as critically acclaimed movies, it's just not the case. We have to come to grips that it's a genre that is loved by a few and scorned by many. Oh yes, the casual moviegoer will go see a horror movie, but it's not to see a brilliant acting performance or a fascinating story. It's sometimes to see mechanical slasher kills and some bouncing C cups.

Could a slasher film be made where a beautiful sexpot didn't get naked? And even if nakedness doesn't occur, I have to count a very revealing Final Girl tank top is nudity as much as full frontal would be. I'm not here to argue the fact that nudity is in a horror movie, I'm trying to point out the instances where it's just plain gratuitous.

And the funny part is I'm all for gratuitous nudity.

It's a staple of the slasher genre and its inserted in almost every pseudo genre of horror. Cannibal, redneck slaughter, yup. Monster attacks movies, yup. Vampire and werewolves in battle, yup to a degree. So what are the instances of gratuitous nudity?

• Obviously gratuitous sex scenes demand nudity
• Shower scenes
• Taking a bath
  
• Skinny dipping
• Swimming
• Locker rooms
• Slumber parties
• Strip clubs
• Changing clothes
• Massages
• Saunas
• Walking around the house (yup this happens)
• Satanic rituals
• Torture scenes
  
• Demon nudity
• Hookers
  
• etc. etc. etc.

The question is, are scenes inserted like the ones above because it's expected? Would we be disappointed if we didn't see gratuitous nudity in one form or the other when we see a horror movie that involves teenagers? Horror is still a male dominated genre and most of the audiences are guys looking to see relentless violence and movie star T&A. If this wasn't the case, Platinum Dunes would be out of business. I am 100% sure, the new Nightmare on Elm Street has nudity. I'll be shocked if it didn't.

Of course, the PG-13-ing by Hollywood to the horror genre has almost made this question irrelevant. We've almost become accustomed to the fact no nudity will appear in the current mass production of Hollywood fluff. Some call this blasphemy. Horror movies need to be Rated R and must have strong sexual content and extreme violence and gore. Others have felt a PG-13 horror movie without the above can be just as good.

I want to know what you guys think. Simply put:


1.) How gratuitous is gratuitous nudity? Would you be angry if you didn't see some boobies in a slasher flick? Would somehow more gore and splatter make up for this?

2.) How often do you expect nudity in horror movies? 100% of the time? 75%? 50%? 25% 0%?

3.) Would you go see a Rated R/Unrated film filled with extreme violence, splatter and gore with tons of nudity.....but the film sucks OR would you see a nice, clean PG-13 horror movie that was praised unanimously by horror critics?

The fact that I have both a GORE-ipedia and NUDE-ipedia goes to show that I sincerely believe horror fans expect both and are looking for both these things to happen. So let me know what you think.

If your looking for more nude photos, c'mon just Google it will ya. And for the few of you expecting more Sophia Monk pictures, check back tomorrow. How gratuitous do you think I am?

Labels: 2009 horror dvd, gratuitous nudity, naked women, nudity, sophie monk naked

Posted by the jaded viewer at 10:00 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

I'm a sucker for horror movies where the plot is the search for snuff or some dastardly sick horror movie that nobody has ever seen.

But after seeing the trailer for The Hills Run Red, we may get another course in this subgenre of horror. There has been a reemergence in vintage, slasher flicks with Laid to Rest being the best of the bunch. But this flick follows the tried and true formula of hiking teenagers, gratuitous nudity, an unkillable masked slasher and tons of gore and splatter. The buzz and hype for The Hills Run Red has been maxed out with appearances by Dave Parker and Sophie Monk (who goes full frontal in THRR) at SDCC.

The hype has been shockingly positive.

Here be the plot:

The story centers on a film fanatic whose obsession with finding a complete print of an infamous slasher movie leads him and two friends into the backwoods where the film was shot. They realize too late that filming never ended -- and now they must survive a nightmarish onslaught or become part of the movie forever.

The movie comes out on DVD September 29th via Warner Premiere.

Check out the teaser trailer below.

Labels: 2009 horror dvd, 2009 horror trailers, gore, slasher films, snuff, sophie monk naked, splatter, the hills run red, the hills run red trailer

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post