Wednesday, January 14, 2009

End of the Line (Review)

End of the Line

End of the Line (2006)

Directed by Maurice Devereaux

I think I found the new trend in horror movies. Not zombies, or remakes or something French. Nope.

It's horror movies that take place on a train.

Mark my words. 2009 will be filled with killers on trains that attack people.

We've already got a taste of it with The Midnight Meat Train and a few others are coming out like Train and Stag Night.

So it's important I get on the bandwagon and watch this new trend in it's infancy.

Hence, I watched a Canadian horror machine called End of the Line, a very awesome flick that will probably be the instigator of this new sub genre's progeny.

2 minutes in I was flinching from some quick scares. Seriously. I actually got scared and I don't scare easily. When you're a jaded viewer like me, this is very hard to do.

But End of the Line, opens freakin strong, blasts some WTF, adds in some serious bloody splatter and ends with a whimper (it's only drawback).

End of the Line is high velocity fun, stopping at the right moments for scares and gore that it's destined to be a cult classic for the 21st century.

I wish it kept going.

Boring Plot-O-Matic (from the official site)

In this unsettling and creepy thriller, Karen (Ilona Elkin), a young nurse who works in a psychiatric ward, boards the last subway train of the night only to have it stop suddenly in the middle of the tunnel. As those around her are brutally murdered, Karen and a handful of survivors must face supernatural forces, homicidal religious cult members, as well as their own fears and suspicions of Armageddon, in order to survive.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

The quick cut to something frightening is a staple in horror films. And the first half hour is filled with suspense and goosbumpy madness. You know director Maurice Devereaux wants you to jump out of your seat by creating some quick glimpses of the scary. And he does this by establishing the life of our main final girl Karen.

But it's the train that's the other "character" we have to get use to in this vague Canadian city that has some a metro. If you live in a city with a subway or transit system and have taken the train late at night, there's a little bit of you that's screaming "I'm fuckin scared".

End of the Line taps that piece and doesn't let go.

The train stops mid-ride and we get intro-ed into the many passengers who will turn out to be our Scooby Gang vent on survival.

We've got:

1.) Final Girl Karen
2.) Hipster Mike
3.) Jock Neil
4.) Guido Mike
5.) Virgin Sarah
6.) Raver Julie

It's an eclectic group of ordinaries that now have to be all Kill Bill in order to survive the night. Nobody stuck out as somebody I could root for and cared about. They were all designed to be slightly lovable and turned into cult corpse fodder.

Oh. Did I mention there was a killer cult from God on this train too?

And that's the middle of the movie. After the cult gets a message on their beepers (they still have those?) they get all slaughtery and start attacking and killing everybody on the train.

The scenes are utterly brutal, as they go all stabby with their crucifixes that turn into knives.

As our gang runs like hell, they meet up with some transit workers and work out a plan and explain motive and yada yada yada.

The cult members (in matching uni's) are a cross between a David Koresh imitation and some Christian conservative, Republican carnies. The brainwashed citizens are insane as they believe all should be "saved".

The kill scenes are savage. Some OJ multiple stabs, throat slashing, a sword head decap and 1 that even made me cringe.

The cult take one of their own and multiple stab a 3rd trimester pregnant woman and her husband. The scene concludes as they lay the newborn with their parents, with the infant semi moving. Wow. On the fucked up scale, that went off the charts.

More chasing and huffing and puffing and a few more axes to the head. Even kids went all mental and tried to kill our scoobies. Wow, there was more kid and infant-cide in this flick than I thought I would see.

The negatives are clearly nitpicks but took away that 1 extra spinkick that would have made this into the spinkick HOF. The movie's premise hinted on the supernatural, then steered me towards some cult crazies then went back to demonology. I wasn't sure if the vagueness of it all was thought bubbled intentional.

I wanted it to stick with just being about some fundamentalist cult crazies but it went waaaaay off which kinda made me say "Huh?". This is further amplified by the ending which was a blah huh.

Add in the fact that our final girl was sorta hot, kicked some ass in the end but her personality needed a total recall. I mean all the characters did.

One of the evil cult baddies was a sexual pervert serial semi rapist. He added some ha ha's and some evilness but just didn't look menacing to make me want this revenge served cold.

End of the Line is the Canadian version of The Midnight Meat Train (which took home the #2 spot on my Top 10 Horror Movies of 2008). As I'm not sure what year this falls into (06 or 07 or 08) it would have definitely made my top 10.

The vagueness of the chaos that erupted and characterology was my only double fault but everything else was super awesome terrific.

I am putting End of the Line posthumously as one of the top horror films of 2008 or 07 or 06.

Now stand clear of the closing doors.



Gore-ipedia
(if you want to be shocked don't read)

Multiple Stabbings
Throat slashing
Sword Head decap (gorehounds rejoice!)
Pregnant woman stabbings
Infanti-cide
Kid-icide
Ax to the head
Hammer to the head
Lip biting
Knife to the head

Nude-ipedia (because you like boobies)

Some boobie cleavage

WTF moment

Infant-cide

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

I forgot to mention that the Canadians are rivalring the French, Aussies and Brits in ushering the new wave of kick ass horror. Maurice Deveraux also directed the straight to DVD Slashers (a reality game show horror movie) which I vaguely remember watching.

It'll be interesting to see what he does next.

If movies like End of the Line is whats to come from him, I say "All Aboard!"

Rating:

Check out the trailer below.





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Tuesday, October 14, 2008

The Midnight Meat Train (Review)

The Midnight Meat Train

The Midnight Meat Train (2008)

Directed by Ryuhei Kitamura

Every once in a while, Lion's Gate will poop out a movie worth 2 shits under it's horror label.

Fuck Saw V.

The Midnight Meat Train is that movie.

Wow, just a truly awesome-tastic horror gem. Possibly one of the best horror movies of the year.

So what did you need to pull of this feat?

You needed legendary Versus/Alive/Azumi director Ryuhei Kitamura. You needed a short story from horror writer Clive Barker (this little gem was a short from his Books of Blood series), a nifty screenplay by Jeff Buhler and some love from the horror community.

No thanks to Lion's Gate who decided to midnight movie and dollar themed this flick into theatrical oblivion.

But they did put up the loot.

TMMT is going to be a super duper horror cult classic, where it will play at midnight shows because people will WANT to see it. It hits all the right notes, leaving everybody scarred, bruised, sliced and diced and ultimately fuckin dead.

Rock on.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

A photographer hunts down a serial killer. Based on Clive Barker's short story "Midnight Meat Train"

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Leon (Bradley Cooper) is a struggling photographer who wants to caption the essence of a vague metro city. Encouraged by his girlfriend Maya (Leslie Bibb who's quite a hotty) ,his friend Jurgis (Robert Bart) and a gallery artist played by Brooke Shields he ventures out to the city subway system to get gritty photos of life untouched.

We venture with Leon as he unravels the puzzle of a mysterious butcher (Vinnie Jones), who he follows and eventually witnesses the madman as he kills passengers on the train.

Why is he doing this?

Could it be he was bullied when he was young?
A mysterious tape he watched?
Does he want to show his victims that life is meaningful by creating elaborate traps?
Or is it some other bullshit motive?

Nah. It's fuckin fun.

Well he does have a real motive but that's not revealed til the "gotcha" ending. And I'm more than happy that the motive was told to me at the end. It would just have gotten in the way of the awesome scenes of carnage by our crazy butcher killer.

And we get plenty of them. Gorehounds refuckin joice. So many great scenes of slaughter it was horror-gasms one right after another. Decaps here, beheadings over there. Meat hook traumas, ocular traumas, you'd think you were watching fast food nation.

All mega major horror cylinders were hit. So synchronized to perfection. And we have to thank Kitamura and Barker for being on their game on this one.

Let's start with Kitamura. What you loved about Versus, Alive and Azumi are all blended into a liquid shake of horror gooeyness. Offbeat angles, frenzy camera work and hyper kinetic movement are all in play. Scenes are set up like Edward Munch like paintings. A cinematographer's wet dream.

A POV shot of a kill is done so well, I was cheering like I hit a game winning shot.

In the climatic final action sequence, the camera moves from in the subway car, to out of it, then back in all the while still capturing the gory fight.

The film paces nicely, chiming in with dialogue to push the plot but then making the audience engulfed in the suspense. Yes, people get chased, people hide from our dastardly killer. It's all cat and mouse, but most of the scenes Kitamura shows us are the cat totally fucking up the mice.

Poor mice.

Clive Barker's story is cleverly classic Barker. Like a good book, it's all about the buildup until the end where we are given an explanation and an ending that turns everything upside down. I realized what the ending would be 30 minutes in, but it's still pretty mini decent.

But the scene stealer has got to be the menace that is Vinnie Jones. He plays the killer butcher (he's credited as Mahogany) to a tee. A Gump like, suit wearing, leather bag carrying killer who remains SILENT throughout the flick.

His main weapon of choice: a meat pounder and hook.

And boy does he do a lot of fuckin damage with it.

TMMT just reinvigorated my horror adrenaline and cravings. It's by far one of the best horror movies of the year. And the sad part is not a lot of people are going to be able to see this little masterpiece until Lion's Gate releases it on DVD.

But if you get a chance to go to a midnight showing or dollar theatre matinee, support this little gem. It's worth more than a dollar, that's for sure.

Influences

Clive Barkers novels and short stories
80s classic horror
Grindhouse horror tinged movies

Gore-ipedia (if you want to be shocked don't read)

Meat hammer trauma
3D Ocular trauma
Meat hook to the balls
Decapitations
Barnacle gooyness
Human butchery
Stab wound to the neck
Knife through the mouth
Gunshot through the eye
Arm decaps
Leg decaps
Gallons of blood
Slicing and dicing
GORE GORE GORE!!!!

Nude-ipedia (because you like boobies)

A side boob from Leslie Bibb
Some dead victim boobies

WTF moment

That POV kill scene (it was soooooooooo good)

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

I'm blushing. It's so refreshing to see a movie that crosses the line, draws a new line then crosses that one too. I hope Kitamura goes the Takashi Miike route and dabbles making a couple of english language movies.

It's been so long since we had a Clive Barker fueled horror film, I think we now have to support Book of Blood as well.

OK, I'm going to go ahead and fuckin say it. The Midnight Meat Train is one of the Top 5 horror movies of 2008.

Now support this little turd so we can get more of the same.

Rating:


The Trailer



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