the jaded viewer

It's Friday the 13th! Don't worry, this is not a Friday the 13th retrospective or anything. But I was thinking some of us (the horror bloggers) have watched a great deal of horror flicks. Some of us are even potential filmmakers. We've all said...I can make a better movie than that!

But really, do we actually have better ideas of what a good horror movie could be? Well I think I do. Hopefully nobody steals my idea, but if they do, please give me some damn credit.

Here is my idea for a flick. I got this inspiration after watching Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon (which I ranked #1 in my Top Horror Movies of 2007). I also got some ideas after seeing the teaser posters for Joss Whedon's Cabin in the Woods. As you can tell from my writing style on my reviews and posts and reviewing Dollhouse, I'm a Whedonaniac. I just like the quirky dialogue and the funny convos and the characters he's written and created.

So my idea is a self aware horror film. What's it called?

It's called "Final Girl".

Basically its about a girl who learns how to defeat slashers (she learns her skills from an aging final girl and this is done via a gratuitous 80s montage) and goes from town to town and kills slasher legends who are killing dumb, oversexed and drug smoking teens.

Sounds generic right?

The twist here is she goes undercover, infiltrates the teens that are being stalked and slaughtered and then unleashes her final girl fury. She knows all the tricks of the trade. Like how to survive by not running aimlessly, she doesn't partake in any vices, she does the research necessary to kill the killer, she listens to the crazy old man and she's seen all the things other final girls have done to avoid death and survive.

Sorta like Buffy, but referencing final girls of other horror films, it'll be totally self aware. Possible winks to the audience of what they know. Everybody has written rules on how to survive a horror movie, but our main final girl will know all these rules and written a few of her own.

Obviously the sequel would be "Final Dude".

Well that's my idea. Now, I'm curious as to what yours would be? Do you have an idea for a horror movie or did you actually make a short or feature? If so, what was the story, the idea?

If you don't want to share because you think somebody will steal it...I totally understand. But if you had an idea for a horror movie that you think people would like to hear...please share.

So what's your story idea horror minions?

Labels: Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon, buffy the vampire slayer, final girl, horror movies, joss whedon, the thread

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post

With the pending release of Survival of the Dead, we will have now seen George A. Romero's version of the Star Wars trilogy, but with zombies. Nobody questions the original trilogy (Night, Dawn and Day) are the pinnacle by which all zombie movies are judged. Dawn alone is one of the best horror movies of all time. But what of this new trilogy? Do we horror fans turn into geeky fan boy bashers when it comes to Romero's new take on his creation?

Think about how this so closely resembles that "other" trilogy.

The new zombie movies had:

1.) Big name actors (more so in Land than in Diary)
2.) Tons of CGI effects (CGI zombies, gore and splatter)
3.) Gimmicky film device (SOV, hand held camera shakiness)
4.) Special effects and big budget excess (both flicks)
5.) Lots of references to the previous films (both flicks)

And Land (2005), Diary (2007) and Survival of (2009) have all come out 2 years after each other.

So let's get into the thread of the week. Which film did you like better or do you think was better? Which one sucked monkey balls?


Land of the Dead or Diary of the Dead?

Will Survival of the Dead be better or worse than these 2 previous films?

the jaded viewer says: OK, the hype Land of the Dead receive was insane back in 2005. I mean it was Romero's first zombie flick since Day. And though it had its flaws, I dug it. I dug the characters, the setting and the zombies. And the satire is in plain sight no matter how obvious. It's about classism, the rich vs the poor, the haves and the have-nots. The fact the status quo somehow remained intact in the middle of a post apocalyptic world.

My gripes for Diary of the Dead can be found in my review. To sum it up I had problems with the 1st person camera thingy, the characters sucked, lack of splatter and gore and the nerve of George to explain to me about what he was satirizing in a voiceover.

Winner: Land of the Dead!

OK now it's your turn. Which movie did you think was better? And what are your thoughts of Survival? Will it be better? worse? the same?

Labels: dawn of the dead remake, diary of the dead, george romero, land of the dead, the thread, zombies, zombies pov

Posted by the jaded viewer at 12:05 AM | Permalink | Comments | links to this post