Friday, December 05, 2008

Friday the 13th (Full Trailer and New Poster)

I wouldn't be a horror site if I didn't cover the big news of the day, right? So here's my obligatory post of the Friday the 13th remake, slated to be released on February 13th, 2009.

Yahoo Movies got the jump yesterday and has the full trailer online. Check it out by going here.

The new poster is also up as you can see above.

I totally dig the new Jason Voorhees. He does look menacing and from the trailer seems a wee bit smarter than your average slasher redneck. It may just be me, but pre-zombied Jason is the best (Part III to me is the best of em all).

I'd rank em as Voorhees, Myers, Kreuger.

The trailer is flashy, but very spoiler ridden. Did we really need 13 "almost" kills? Fuck you for doing that. As long as Jason's screen time is limited (I know thats blasphemous to say) this would probably work better as the early movies made it a point to show only 10-15 minutes of Jason.

And of course we need to follow our basic F13th model work flow. It should be as follows:

1.) A final girl
2.) Jason Voorhees
3.) Gratuitous Nudity
4.) Kill quality

2 totally awesome kills ("Oh that was fuckin awesome")
4-5 decent kills ("Wow, that must have hurt")
2 he was killed offscreen kills ("That's where that blowtorch ended up")
3 machete kills ("Jason totally went all Kill Bill with his machete")

5.) Spooky music
6.) Stereotypical cardboard cutouts of teenagers
7.) The local who warns the teens of impending danger
8.) Jason unmasked
9.) Jason gets killed by final girl
10.) A total WTF ending

That's all I'm asking for. Thoughts about the trailer? the remake?

Now back to your regular scheduled program.


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Monday, July 28, 2008

Friday the 13th (Remake) (Trailer)


Yes fellow readers, the jaded viewer also covers *some* mainstream horror movies and news. And so low and behold the poster for the "reimagining" of Friday the 13th is above.

I love the the 13th series (even some of the shitty sequels) . I think Jason Voorhees is the greatest slasher of all time. But I have my doubts about this remake. It looks....well a little Final Destination-ish with a mix of some Rob Zombie Halloween. To me, 21st century Jason is very bland compared to 1980's Jason. 1980's Jason seemed to evoke more menace.

It may have had to do with the heavy breathing.

The remake is being directed by Marcus Nispel who directed Pathfinder (a Vikings vs Indians 300 ripoff)

UGO.com has some plot tidbits and spoilers.

So will this remake kick ass? What do you think?

Well we'll soon find out on February 13th, 2009.

Check out the bootleg Comic Con trailer below.




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